No. I wasn’t anything. I half wanted to leave. I knew part of my soul loved being there with him, but at the same time, my skin buzzed like I was lying to myself and shouldn’t be there at all. “Don’t say things like that,” I said as we made it to a castle.
The driver stopped, and I got out before anyone had the chance to open the door for me. The castle was like a yellow version of one I’d seen in cartoons as a girl. The blue-painted roof and red higher levels only added to the splendor. Except I wasn’t a princess in any reality.
He followed me out. “What do you mean?”
My heart jumped into my throat. “I’m not special.”
We walked toward the rounded double doors that read Private Entrance.
“What are you trying to say?” Gerard kept his hands in his pockets.
Staff whisked us through the doors. My throat was parched from holding my lips together. We walked through a grand room with a textured ceiling that was all painted. We were brought to some archway that overlooked the city below. A table had been set up there for us to enjoy the day.
I wrung my hands as I sat. When we were alone, I said, “It’s just that my life hasn’t seemed so blessed in a long time.”
The first course arrived.
My stomach twisted, and I wasn’t sure I could eat anything.I shouldn’t be here.I rocked.
But then he reached into his pocket and took out a small jewelry box. “Well, I wanted to give you this.”
It was too flat to be a ring. I took a deep breath and accepted. As I opened it, I tilted my head. “It’s a charm.”
“This is from the Azores. We should pick out the one from Lisbon today, together.”
“You’re sweet.” I remembered his promise to get one in every port. I’d forgotten. He was fucking perfect. He was the kind of guy who could own a castle if he wanted. Tears formed in my eyes. He was so wonderful.
