Maybe that was true, but Stephanie hadn’t seen me in almost a year. I ignored how my hair stood on end and asked, “How do you know that?”
She gently elbowed me. “We’re sisters. I know you.”
I let out a small sigh and then a question that had been swimming in my thoughts for hours now came out. “How do you know you’re in love?”
Stephanie shrugged. “I don’t know. I know what falling for the wrong guy is like.”
I pressed my lips together. She’d been in pain, but she came to support my wedding because she was my sister. I glanced down at my hands and hoped I hadn’t upset her. I asked, “How’s that?”
She shrugged and said, “I was always making excuses for why things didn’t go according to plan, and always pretending things were fine—but I knew in my gut I was full of shit.”
My eyes widened. Stephanie never swore. I asked, “Yeah?”
She played with her bracelet, the one our grandmother had given her, and said, “So, when I’m ready to get out there again, I have to honor myself first. But you … you and Ryder were different.”
I snapped my fingers in the air like she’d just proved that what I’d done to Ryder was right, and I hadn’t stabbed him in the gut. “Right. And my blog is part of me and honoring myself.”
She tilted her head and stared at me like I was a fool. “No … it’s not. Nicole, you are far more than a blog post. You’re a wonderful woman and the best roommate I ever had. And with Ryder, you seemed to blossom into someone who was happy.”
Maybe, but I’d never been good with rules. My stomach twisted, like she saw straight through my bull, and I needed to head her off. I said, “We had no choice on that. But the ‘dreams come true’ sign that used to hang in our bedroom was perfect.”
Rather than take my “let’s change the topic” bait, she patted my back. “Other than Ryder’s father wanting to control your blog, what’s wrong with Ryder?”
My heart did a little flutter. “Nothing. If I’m honest, we misunderstood each other at first, but upon getting to see the real him … He’s pretty awesome. And my toes curled when he kissed me.”
She let out a small sigh and said, “Mine never did with Edward.”
Now I was glad I’d never met the guy, because then I’d be able picture the face of the jerk who had hurt my sister. My fingers clenched like I might do something violent, and I said, “I remember that Edward hated being called Eddie or Ed. It should have been a warning sign when he went off on Olivia for shortening his name.”
Stephanie shrugged, but her face was red. “I … was stupid. I thought he’d be my Mr. Darcy, but it turns out he was my Mr. Wickham instead.”
Once again, Jane Austen was her life. I had readPride and Prejudicejust to understand Stephanie. So I asked under my breath, “He cheated on you?”
She covered her face but nodded. “With my flatmate.”
A zap rushed through me that made me want to run the guy over with my car. I’d never actually do it, of course, but the anger inside burned like hot embers. I shook my head. “You didn’t tell me that on the phone.”
She lowered her hand with a sigh. “I was embarrassed. I don’t know your Ryder well, but he seemed to be absolutely in love with you.”
Seemed to be, yeah. But he hadn’t ever told me he cared. Our deal was just to find an escape. “He’s sweet. And wonderful. And he made everything better when he was around.”
Her voice was low as she asked, “And your blog is more wonderful?”
Pins and needles grew on my arms and legs. Damn. Now that was direct hit.
I’d made the deal because I wanted to stop blogging so much. And Ryder’s arms holding me were the best moments I’d ever experienced.
Love was something to hold onto, and as I blinked at Stephanie, I realized the truth. Ryder was the best man I’d ever met, and would ever meet, because I was in love with him. And I’d never told him.
Love was all that mattered in life and I’d tossed it away. I’d lost sight of my rule to be honest with myself and him. I was waiting for him to say it, but what if he needed to hear it from me first? Adrenaline rushed through me now and told me to act fast. I grabbed my phone, and my hand shook as I typed to my lawyer:Frank, sign the contract.
Done. My sister looked up and I stopped and shivered, but I showed her the screen and asked, “Are you satisfied?”
Her eyes widened as she asked me, “Are you?”
No.I took my phone back and ignored my own trembling. If I knew where Ryder was, I’d run to him. I quickly typed out:Emily where is Ryder? I need to talk to him.
I ran my hand through my hair and said, “I hope he can forgive me.”
