He squared his shoulders. No one needed to be near him and she’d seen that long ago. He narrowed his gaze. “You wanted to.”
She shook her head and then glanced at the children’s books he stood in front of as the winds blasted against the windows of the library. Olivia smoothed a wrinkle out of his collar and said, “I wanted to keep Sophia a secret from Max, but Clara solved that issue. Now it’s done. We’re family and we’re home. But I really liked your Clara and I followed her to get her to come home. She… loves you and you love her.”
Yeah. He didn’t deny it. He probably did. No other woman had ever made his heart ache like he’d lost part of himself. His hands fisted at his sides to hold it together, but he couldn’t admit to his sister how love made his muscles tense. “How did you like her right away?”
Olivia backed up but she then fixed one of the books on the shelf. “She saw straight to the point, and didn’t hesitate when she asked him what he wanted to go away. I never thought it would be as simple as writing a check.”
Complicating problems was a family trait it seemed. He took a deep breath and wished he didn’t need Clara’s brightness. “Clara’s very smart.”
His sister placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head. “And you sent her away, because why?”
Love meant letting her go and never hurting her, ever. He stared out the window, not that there was anything other than sheets of rain to see. “She deserves to live a full life.”
His sister’s voice sounded like their mother’s exactly as she asked, “How is that possible when she loves you and you sent her away?”
Once he’d been a happy boy but that hadn't mattered. “That will fade. I never should have touched her.” She’d been innocent, truly.
“Touched?” Olivia repeated like she was offended. He turned toward her when she said, “I don’t think that’s the problem. She loves you and you love her, but you are both too blind to see.”
Blind was how he had to be. He couldn’t risk Clara’s safety, not now that she finally had security—home, and money. He shrugged. “So what about Clara?”
“She thinks she’s unlovable.”
Olivia’s words struck him like she’d punched him in the boxing ring and knocked him cold. He widened his stance and crossed his arms. “Impossible.”
“That’s what she said when I left her.”
His ears burned. He needed to protect her, not hurt her. He hadn’t meant to do that. Clara was the most loveable person he’d ever met. She was the only woman he’d ever… He swallowed and asked, “What?”
Olivia pushed her hair behind her ear. “She said you sent her away because she’s unlovable.”
But that wasn’t why. She had to know that much. “I sent her away to protect her.”
Olivia shrugged like she didn’t believe him. “Did you tell her that?”
He massaged his temples against the ache. He’d screwed everything up if she thought that. “No. Yes. I don’t know if she believed me.”
She snorted. “And I used to think you were the lucky one who never had to deal with our parents’ deaths.”
Olivia had aim with her words in a way no one else did. He put his hands in his back pockets and said, “Murder and suicide aren’t exactly easy to forget.”
She looked down her slim nose as thunder roared outside. “I saw it. First hand. I was here. You weren’t. But I had to get over what I saw because I don’t want Sophia to ever experience anything like that, but you… you didn’t see. Rumor is that you were having sex with a tourist.”
He jerked his head back. Lies his own people believed about him. “What? No.”
She asked in a small, curious voice, “What were you doing that morning?”
Not protecting the ones he loved, which was something he couldn’t forgive himself for. He kept his voice low as he prayed his mother forgave him. “I was… reading, in my secret cave near the ocean no one knew I went to.” He hadn’t minded the bats at all.
Olivia let out a knowing laugh. He took his hands out of his pockets as she nodded and said, “Reading… now that sounds more like the boy you were—you were more of a studious nerd then. I was smaller, but those moments stick like glue.”
His heart pounded loud but the storm outside masked it from being heard. “Only you know the truth now.”
Olivia glanced at the door like she’d heard something but then let it go as she said, “Well, it would be nice if you told your bride that you love her and bring her back here.”
Yet he could hurt her. He still had a monster inside him. “What if one day-”
“You won’t,” Olivia interrupted like she knew what he was going to say. “You can’t live in fear. You’re a man but that doesn’t turn you into our father.” If only that was true. A voice inside his head agreed with her, but silence clung in the air, except for the rain that beat against the windows. Olivia turned toward the door. “The storm is getting worse. I need to see to Sophia now.”
