She made it to the first step when Matt said, “But you said you loved me.”
Her face was hot. She turned around, her hand on the railing. “I do love you. But you never knew I was alive. And I hate being used, by you and by Jennifer. I’m absolutelynot cut out for life where everything is an act, so I’m going.”
She climbed the stairs again and made it halfway up when he asked, “Where?”
Her bags were still mostly packed—she’d only need a minute. She continued up till she reached the top and told Matt, who’d followed behind her, “I don’t know yet, but hey I have money enough to go and figure out what to do with the rest of mylife. I don’t need a favor from anybody.”
She hurried to the bedroom. His bed wasn’t made which meant he really had been sleeping. Maybe this could have waited, but she’d hoped to make him convince her to stay. She almost chewed her lip again but then stopped as he broke the silence and said, “Ashley, I want you to stay.”
Tears formed in her eyes. Now he’d see her cry. Guess it didn’tmatter though. He’d never see her again as she asked, hoping she was wrong, “Why? Why do you want me to stay? To use me again?”
He stepped over to her. Awareness shot through her and she froze. “I can’t say I’m in love with you.”
Words wounded worse than bullet holes to the chest. She couldn’t cry. She’d known this all along. She turned away and circumvented him to the closet toget her bag as she said, “Okay. That’s good for me to hear.”
Without looking at him, she ran into the bathroom for her toothbrush, stuffing it in her bag. Ashley balanced her shopping bags on top of her suitcase, then used her phone to call a car for herself.
Her eyes were dry. Soon, over a bottle of wine she’d buy and drink at her hotel, but not here, not now.
Matt stoodat the bedroom door. “Look, I don’t want to hurt you, Ashley.”
But he had. Her heart was gone now, broken, shattered worse than a mirror smashed by a baseball bat. She placed his keys on the side dresser.
She was done. She met his blue eyes for the last time. “That’s the thing. You can’t. I hurt myself by giving you a say. In the end I want a guy who won’t use me for his own selfishreasons. I want to be loved because I’m… well… important.”
She headed out the door of his bedroom to the hall. Halfway down the steps, Matt caught up with her. “Ashley, this is all too fast.”
“Then you won’t miss me. Goodbye, Matt.” She let herself out his front door.
Maybe she never should have taken her shot with Matt. Changing her hair had been a mistake but a call to asalon would fix that. And hopefully time would fix her broken heart as she clearly needed to forget that love existed. It didn’t. And never would. Not for her.
Chapter 16
Matt’s morning coffee lacked any flavor. It was just roast with no distinction.
The motorcycle ride to the studio with the wind hitting against his skin didn’t shake off whatever weighed his shoulders down.
The morning was bright and sunny but nothing in his heart seemed right.
Everything was off. He bought a different coffee at the studio, but it didn’thelp.
The taste his lips craved was Ashley and her blend. His body ached for her too.
But she’d left him.
And she’d been right to do so. He’d chosen his family over her and had known it while he’d done it. He strode onto the set and headed out of his dressing room, passing Jennifer’s room on the way to the green room.
He saw that she was inside, as the door was ajar,but he didn’t stop.
Maybe he was a hypocrite, not that Ashley had said that. Here he was working with a woman his family hated, and he’d gone out of his way to make his family that he hardly knew like him despite that.
In the process he’d let Ashley go. He stopped in the hall and returned to Jennifer’s room.
Maybe she had news. He knocked and pushed the door wider so she couldsee him. Jennifer was sitting down and her face was white, like she was ready for a zombie movie. He didn’t comment. “Jennifer, we’re about to start blocking. Do you need me to go find you a golf cart to escort you?”
“I’ll be fine.” She shrugged. “I’m a trooper.”
So was he. He ignored his life for roles, though he’d tried to make that right to his siblings by what he’d done for Anthony.And Ashley had suffered. He sipped his coffee and saw himself in Jennifer.
