14
No one waited for her behind the front door. Not Blackwell, or Chelsea. Her heart dropped to her stomach, but she swallowed hard past the ache in her throat. She needed to accept that she’d ruined her chance. She headed upstairs, trying to remember the path to the bedroom and herbag.
The halls were quiet and the silence echoed within her body. Where were theservants?
She opened a door on her right and peeked into the shadows. The room looked familiar, so she went inside and toward thecloset.
Her luggage sat on the rack, waiting for her tounpack.
All she had to do wasleave.
She ran a finger over the outer edge and told herself leaving was for the best, but her heart whispered she was making amistake.
Behind her, in the bedroom, she heard the door open. She turned and froze. Blackwell. His thick, dark hair, brown eyes that shone with strength of the mountains, and those broad shoulders that took care of everyone andeverything.
He lowered his head. “I don’t want to disturb you,Donna.”
The last thing Blackwell could ever do was botherher.
He turned to slip out and she saw his shoulders bow. “Please wait. We need to talk, Blackwell, if you’lllisten.”
He faced her, his expression taut. “You want me to close thedoor?”
She took a deep breath. It was time to tell him, everything. She refused to cry again and give in to her past. If she didn’t tell him how she felt she would regret everything, just as Beth said. She motioned toward his bed and said, “Yes. Please come andsit.”
She perched on the edge and waited for him to sit besideher.
It took Blackwell a moment, but the bed depressed as he sat and she glanced up to meet his warm brown eyes. Warm, because he cared, but also guarded because she’d hurt him. “I won’t bother you again, Donna, with myfeelings.”
She placed her hand on his thigh and let her heart speak without interference. “You love me. And the truth is, I loveyou.”
His eyes widened in surprise and he reached to hold her. “Youdo?”
Donna patted his hand away, but nodded. “Yes, but please listen to everything,first?”
He turned toward her with one leg up on the bed. “Okay.”
His parents had raised him to adulthood so there was no way for him to truly understand, but she had to try. It wasn’t fair to either of them, if she didn’t. She’d reacted terribly to Chelsea, and that was on her. She met his gaze. “After my parents died, my grandmother put me in therapy as I blamed myself for not being lovable enough. When Harry cheated on me, I refused to even think those thoughts, but they were there. It’s why I agreed so quickly to this trip. I wanted to figure out how to change and be stronger. I didn’t think I’d ever meet you or be open to love. Part of me doesn’t trust how I feel, but if I don’t tell you, I’d feel like I stabbed my own heartout.”
He leaned closer and whispered, “That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Their car accident had nothing to do withyou.”
She almost asked how he knew about it but then remembered he had a computer program with her name and information, so he must have read her background. She admitted, “It’s not an emotional state I’m proud of. I reverted back to that inadequate feeling when I met Chelsea. I was overwhelmed and when I’m in my dark emotions, I’m negative with myself andothers.”
“At least you understand this,” he said with empathy. “None of that was ever yourfault.”
She glanced up at him and felt like she had to let her heart continue to speak. “I realized what I did to you. I called Beth, my friend at home, who’s the closest thing to family I have. She’s flying to Avce to help me. And she told me to call my therapist, but I wanted to figure this out on my own. I know that I love you because I never cried over Harry, but you? The idea that I’d pushed you away broke myheart.”
His eyebrows lowered as he nodded. “If you need an in-person therapist, I can get someone here for you to talk to,today.”
Of course, he could. Blackwell was trying to fix her which was sweet. “That’s supportive. So I’d like to sayyesto your marriage proposal but I don’t want to weigh you down with my emotionalbaggage.”
He chuckled with relief and took her hand in his lap. “Don’t worry about me. Donna, I want to marry you because you aren’t perfect and don’t expect me to be anything other than myself. I meant it when I said I lovedyou.”
The huge wall she had around her heart crumbled down and she swore she could hear the quake as she laughed. “Well, I promise to always love you for yourself if you’ll haveme.”
He jumped off the bed as if scorched from fire. He held a finger. “Have you? Wait. I put the ring in my safe. Give me oneminute.”
He hurried across the room and returned quickly, the diamond he’d chosen for her in his hand. He knelt by the bed and she stood, hoping he’d get up and join her. “Blackwell, you don’t have to get on oneknee.”
