Chapter Six
John thought Alice's strawberry-scented hair matched the sweetness of her kiss as he pulled away from her mouth and leaned back in his chair.
He was under some spell and not himself tonight. With her, the world was fresh and clean. He gazed into Alice's light blue eyes and felt like he was in a dream where he was safe, and no one judged him. Though she'd compared him to a tree, Alice gave him a sense of home and belonging.
There was no other choice but to go slow with her. Her entire body begged him to take her right here and now, but he wouldn't. He ran his hands through his hair and tried to regain his control.
The music from the terrace wafted into the restaurant. Sitting across from Alice felt like he belonged somewhere. He tried to breathe.
She fingered her gold pendant, saying something he didn't catch. His gaze returned to her sweet lips as she unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap. He pictured kissing the parts she hid under her black dress.
She leaned across the table and kissed him. Without intention, he opened his lips, and tugged her close.
Steel drums beat in his ear, and he questioned if it was his heartbeat. He let go of her chin as the waitress came over.
"John, I don't know what to say."
Whatever had prompted those words would remain a mystery. The tingle of her kiss lingered on his lips. At least she couldn't hear his thoughts. She would run away. He sat back and crossed his arms. "I don't either. Alice, I'm in the middle of changing my entire life."
She scooted her seat in across from him. The distance of the round table between them was good. "Okay. Don't worry about it." She shrugged. "Tonight is a fantasy."
Fantasies and Alice were a dangerous combination. Forget dinner. It had been a bad idea to spend time with her. The trouble was, if he went anywhere near her room, he wouldn't let her go. The thought scared him. Alice reminded him of a dream he never had. She was the only thing he'd touched in years that was warm and inviting. "The funeral is on my mind."
"Of course it is. Despite everything, he was your father and the only parent you had."
"I don't want my dark thoughts to ruin your night too. Maybe once we finish our meal, I should let you go back to your room."
She toyed with her water glass, but then her lips puckered. "Don't run away on my account."
She knew him. Her comments about home earlier hit him in the gut. Alice's kiss made his body soar, and if he took her, then it would be forever. But eternity wasn't a possibility for him. In his everyday life, vengeance ruled him and he held onto too much anger to ruin a girl like her.
Breaking with the FBI wasn't as simple as handing in his badge and figuring out a financial position. He finished his drink and then said, "It's dangerous for me to involve myself in your life."
A brush of her hands on his pumped up his adrenaline. "Who said involved? It was just a kiss."
"A moment ago you were reserved." There was no way for her to know. She didn't understand. He gazed into her light blue eyes as she sipped her wine and then took her hand. "Alice, don't be someone you're not, for me or for anyone. You are too good for me."
Her eyes watered as she said, "You are being dramatic."
The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "Don't brush off how we feel right now. We both know where this leads."
"Then don't turn this moment into something it doesn't have to be. Just relax."
Relaxing wasn't going to happen near her. Alice Collins was sexy, and he didn't think she saw that. Back when Vicki was alive he must have been truly self-delusional, or blind. She'd been in front of his face the whole time. One moment with her might be worth a lifetime of possibilities.
He pulled his hands back to his lap. Tonight, he'd respect her. His sister's memory should mean that Alice was off limits. The heat under his collar grew. Every inch of him craved her. He stood up and offered his hand. "Dance?"
She blinked in surprise, but then she smiled like he'd picked her off the bleachers for the school dance. He shook off the thought and helped her up—her hand stayed in his. "Okay. I want to be in your arms."
For the dance only. He kept his lips pressed together.
With his rapt attention on her, she fixed her hair behind her ears and let him lead. Her body had curves, and her hand fit in his perfectly. He'd claim the life he wanted and when he was settled and secured, he'd keep Alice for a lifetime.
They found their positions on the dance floor where salsa music wafted in the air. He wrapped his arms around her perfectly shaped body and closed his eyes to breathe in the hint of strawberries. He led her in the dance. "You are one of those women, aren't you?"
She stumbled and then let him hold her to lead, but this time with a frown. "What are you talking about, those women?"
He turned her, his fingers aching to bring her closer. The beat was hard, rhythmic. He finally said, "The ones men call ‘Sweetheart.' It's in your eyes."
