Chapter 22
Kodiak hadn't even taken the first sip of his beer after being gone all day and most of last night when the hollow pull in his chest warned him something was wrong.
He turned his head toward the office, expecting to see Roma standing in the doorway with her arms crossed, pretending she hadn't worried the whole time like she always did.
But the office was dark and empty.
His jaw tightened. He handed the bottle back to Rusty without a word. "Where's Roma?"
"She was in the office earlier." Rusty shrugged. "It's after five, so maybe she left."
They should've watched over her while he was gone. A shrug wasn't an answer. She mattered to Kodiak. Everything about her mattered, even if he hadn't said it out loud, especially because he hadn't said it out loud.
He crossed the compound in a few long strides and stepped into the clubhouse. He headed down the hall to the sound of "You Learn" by that singer Roma always listened to, echoing outside her room.
That wasn't a song you blasted unless you were trying to drown something else out.
The memory of walking in on her with a vibrator between her legs had him lifting his arm and rapping his knuckles against the door. Only when she failed to answer did he try the door handle. It turned in his hand.
He kept walking, straight to the bedroom, and found her sitting on the edge of the bed, hugging her middle. Her face was red, streaked with tears. She didn't even look at him when he entered. Didn't tell him to leave. Didn't yell, point, or scream.
The music blared around them, angry and raw.
"Roma?" He stayed at the entrance to the bedroom.
She lifted her gaze and looked him in the eyes. "What am I supposed to do without you?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
She shook her head. "Even when you're here, I don'thaveyou.Theyhave you."
She grew up in Royalla and understood the way things were done. Club business would always come first. But when he had time for her, he tried to devote his whole attention to her
"Roma." He stepped forward.
"Don't," she snapped, standing up so fast the bed bounced behind her. "You walk around like I don't exist unless it's convenient for you."
"Bullshit."
"No?" Her laugh bordered on hysterics. "I waited all day, Kodiak. All day because you said you'd be back this morning.And you ride in tonight and go tothemfirst, like I'm a second thought."
"Why would you think that?" He stepped toward her. "You mean more than that to me. Youknowyou do."
She slapped his hand away when he reached for her. "Then why won't you show it?"
The sting in his chest was worse than her slap. "I don't know how to be what you need. I've lived too long in this shit to come out clean, Roma. I've seen things. Done things." His voice deepened. "And Chopper gave you to me. You're... you're the only good thing I've had in a long time. But that doesn't mean I'm good for you."
Tears welled up in her eyes again. "I don't care about the things you've done to others. I see what you've done for me. That's all that matters." She raised her hands and let them fall again to her sides. "I don't know how else to show you how much I love you."
The music failed to conceal the charge of electricity in the air.
Something broke in him. Every day, he was trying to keep the club alive, keep Roma safe, and deal with the bullshit. Most of all, he was tired of keeping his hands off Roma.
He crossed the room in two strides, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her against him. Her hands latched onto his vest, holding on for dear life. He planted his lips on her mouth, roughly, desperately, and nudged her open, giving her his tongue.
If she wanted attention from him, he'd fucking give it to her.
She kissed him back harder. He grabbed her ass, lifting her off the floor. Roma caught his hair, holding him in front of her.
