Heavy. Familiar. Boots on asphalt.
She swiped her cheeks with her hands and sniffed, hiding any evidence that she had been crying. When she lifted her gaze, there he was, standing a few feet away in the dark.
"I waited for you to come to my room," she whispered.
He moved closer. "Is that why you're crying?"
When he reached the table, he skipped the bench and sat beside her on the top. Close, but not touching. For a long moment, he looked up into the night sky.
"I heard Rocco and Baker made sure you got some dinner," he said quietly.
She glanced at him, knowing he was responsible for getting the others to buy her take-out for dinner. He was only making sure his orders were followed.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. "Why'd you leave?"
"I needed to get out. Clear my head." He exhaled. "I didn't think I was...good company."
She turned to face him. "Because of me?"
"Not only you." His jaw tightened. "A lot has happened lately."
"My dad's killer?" she whispered.
He nodded, without admitting anything. Her heart skipped. There it was. Maybe it was her fault. Kodiak would do anything for her. He'd promised vengeance, and she'd done nothing to discourage him.
"You did it for me," she said. "For my dad."
"I did it for all of us," he corrected, but his voice was softer now. "But yeah... for him. And for you."
Roma swallowed the lump in her throat. "So now you're shutting me out because you blame me—"
"I'm not shutting you out," he said. "I'm trying to keep myself from making it worse."
"It's already worse." Tears burned her eyes. "I sit in that garage every day, trying to work while keeping you in sight. I can't think straight. I see you, and I want to be near you. I miss you even when you're right here, Kodiak. And I don't know what to do with that."
He finally looked at her. Looked. And there was something there—regret, guilt, but also empathy. That pull that had never gone away.
"I don't know what to do with it either," he admitted. "But I don't want you hurting alone. That night I walked in on you." He inhaled deeply. "I should've let you be. What you were doing was...natural. Sex can give you the biggest high, and I walked in when you weren't thinking straight."
Roma shook her head. "I'm not afraid of what happened between us. I'm afraid it'll never happen again."
He reached out, finally, and touched her hand. Not a grab. Just a quiet, steady connection.
"You're not gonna lose me." He pulled her closer.
She leaned into his shoulder and let herself cry for her father, for Kodiak, for herself. Kodiak's arm tightened around her. He simply held her, under the cloudy sky, like maybe he needed it as much as she did.
Chapter 18
Kodiak found Baker and Cruz in the storage room behind the garage, clustered together over an open electrical panel. Open-ended wires hung disconnected, and Cruz poked at them with a screwdriver.
"You'll short out the whole clubhouse if you hook that red wire where you're about to," Kodiak said, stepping into the sunlight.
Baker glanced up. "Already told him that."
"Then why didn't you stop him?" Kodiak asked dryly.
"Figured the shock might jolt some brain cells loose."
