"No way."
"You should go to college," he said, his voice quiet but firm. "Get a place near campus. You could even rent an apartment, take real classes, live like someone who doesn't have to look over their shoulder anymore."
"I don't want that," she snapped. "I want to behere."
"This lifestyle is hard, Roma. There's blood on the table. You deserve something better." He paused and clenched his hands together. "Chopper wanted better for you. That's why he was living here for so long, because he was saving all his money to get a house so that you could live away from the clubhouse. Royalla isn't a forever plan for you. It's survival. You don't have to live like that anymore."
"Stop trying to push me away," she whispered.
"I'm trying to give you a chance at a better life." He sat forward. "You deserve more than living with a bunch of fuckers who drink themselves stupid most nights and use any woman available."
She stared at him, stubbornness battling the fear in her eyes. "I don't care about college."
"You should."
She opened her mouth to argue again, but he cut her off gently.
"If not college, then get a job." He pushed the mug away from him. "Learn to stand on your own two feet. If you find yourself in that kind of life, you may figure out what you want. Maybe you'll discover there's more out there than Royalla."
Her jaw clenched. "What if all I want is Royalla?"
"This will always be your home. But try something different. I don't want you to stay because you never tried anything else. Whatever you do has to be your choice, Roma. You've lived too long under the eye of the club. Having the freedom to live life the way you want was taken away from you. You need to spread your wings, baby girl."
For a long moment, the only thing he could hear was his heart cracking open, piece by piece.
Finally, she looked down at her lap. "I'll think about it."
That was enough—for now.
"Your dad...he can rest now." He reached out and lifted her chin. "He'd want you to go on and be happy."
She swallowed and closed her eyes, slowly opening them again."Thank you,"she mouthed.
He got up from the chair, kissed her forehead, and left the room to give her time to process the information he'd given her. In the hallway, he exhaled sharply and leaned against the wall. He'd done what Chopper would have wanted.
He let the back of his head hit the wall. But all he wanted was her.
Chapter 8
Roma stepped out of the SUV and barely shut the door before the Uber driver sped away from the curb. She couldn't blame him for his rapid retreat. It wasn't the kind of area where people lingered, even though it was two blocks from the community college.
She walked along the sidewalk, reading street signs, and headed toward the little shops. It was the first time she'd gone past the invisible boundary her dad had set up after the attempted kidnapping. Kodiak had continued to enforce the rule after her dad's death until now.
It was probably her imagination, but even the air smelled different away from the compound. Freshly cut grass replaced warm concrete. She crossed the street. Ahead of her, the college campus stretched wide and open, blending in with the towering fir trees and strips of flower beds along manicured walking paths. Bypassing the college, she headed to the other side of the campus, where a twenty-one-acre park enticed her more than the brick buildings.
The closer she got to the park, the more she could see people milling around in the sunshine. She turned and walked toward the edge of the grass. There were clumps of trees shading the area. Laughter echoed nearby. A high-pitched giggle gave her goosebumps despite the warm day.
A group of girls in crop tops and shorts clustered by a picnic table, shrieking in delighted terror as a couple of guys jogged past, tossing a football between them. One of the boys turned and winked at the girls. They all giggled harder. Another boy caught the ball and flexed, as if he were more muscular than he was. The performance was so familiar it bored her.
That kind of behavior from boys had been constant in public school. Boys with too much confidence and girls pretending not to notice. Everyone played games, trying to act like adults, when it only made them seem childish.
It was all fake.
None of them grew up knowing their mother was a stripper who chose drugs over their baby, or almost got kidnapped walking home from school, or learned their dad was murdered before their sixteenth birthday.
None of them knew what was coming next in their life. The future was an abstract dream they all believed would work out for them. They had yet to learn that nothing was promised. Nothing was solid.
What they hadn't learned and what college couldn't teach them was that life could change in the blink of an eye. Everything could be taken from them in the worst imaginable way. And when that happened, they'd only have two choices. They could crumble or grow stronger, but they would never be the same. They would never giggle quite the same way or throw a football with such joy again.
