She shrugged that off. No point getting bogged down in what had happened. It was done. All she could do was move forward, get a new job, find somewhere to live, build a whole new life. Starting now.
She grabbed one of Josh’s holdalls from the bottom of his wardrobe and began filling it up with things she’d missed when she’d hastily packed in the early hours of the New Year. The photo she’d taken from the sideboard in the living room went in first, then her jewellery, minus the engagement ring that she’d left on Josh’s bedside table right before she’d walked out. If she sold it, there would be enough for a deposit on a rental flat, but she didn’t want that money, because it would always be a reminder of how the man she was supposed to be able to depend on more than anyone else in the world had let her down.
That night, she’d needed him to do the right thing, but instead, he’d done the wrong thing, because that was the job he was paid to do. He’d gone straight into Mr PR mode, minimising the whole event, then immediately attending to Corbin, trying to calm him down as he was wailing about the damage she’d done to his foot. Josh had got him out of there, asking one of his staff to take him to the ED at Glasgow Central Hospital, and then he’d gone into a huddle with the studio head, Jeremy, discussing the situation and strategising over the next move. They’d even had the absolute mind-blowing audacity to suggestsheapologise. That’s when Kara had left. Sad. Hurt. Disgusted. When he’deventually come home, several hours later, she was already in bed. Fool that she was, she’d expected him to come in and be concerned for her, but no. He was in full-scale PR mode and he’d told her she had to make sure everything was swept under the carpet.
‘No. He’s a horrible perv and I’m not doing it. Josh, I don’t think you understand – he had a hold of her and wouldn’t let go. He was totally harassing her. You know as well as I do that he’s pulled shit like that with other women in the building. And you saw the way he was screaming at me too. What else was I to do?’
The vein in his cheek that always popped up when he was angry had been in full view. ‘Make a complaint. Speak to him in private back at the studio. I don’t know, Kara. But now you’ve caused a public scene that I’m going to have to manage in the media, and they’re going to have to write in a limp for the lead character.’
‘So tell me, since you don’t seem to think that a grown-ass man verbally abusing your fiancée in public is a deal-breaker, what would you have done if it was me that he’d got physical with?’
‘It wasn’t you, though.’
Eyes blazing, she’d refused to back down. ‘Just go with me here. If it were me, the woman you’re marrying next week, and the mighty Corbin bloody Jacobs had a hold of me, despite my objections, would you have wanted me to put up with that or would you have wanted a pal to do whatever she could to get me away from him, even if it caused a bit of a scene?’
To her complete devastation, he hadn’t been able to give the obvious answer. He’d stayed silent, clearly weighing up both sides. The only side should have been hers.
‘Wow,’ she’d said, too hurt to even challenge him.
Josh hadn’t even tried to make it right. ‘Look, we’re not getting anywhere here. I’m going for a shower. We’ll talk about it in the morning.’
An hour later, he was asleep beside her, but she had been awake, staring at the ceiling, letting the truth sink in. He would never defend her. This wasn’t ‘good times and bad’. This was whatever suited him best. Tears had run from the outer corners of her eyes into her hair, as a realisation dawned – she couldn’t marry someone who wasn’t going to be there for her when she needed him. She had no idea where to start, but she knew she couldn’t go to Hawaii with him, couldn’t wear her white dress, couldn’t promise to love him and vow to always stand by him, when he hadn’t stood by her.
She’d quietly slipped out of bed, padded into the huge cupboard in the hall that she used as a wardrobe, packed her biggest suitcase and a black plastic bag with the first things that came to hand, then went into the kitchen and wrote him a note.
I would always have defended you. I want someone who will always defend me too. I can’t marry you. Goodbye, Josh.
Silently sobbing, she’d walked back into the bedroom and left the note and her engagement ring on his bedside table. Then she’d walked right out of their lives together.
Now, as the memory of that night made her chest tighten, she sniffed.Don’t cry. Do. Not. Cry. Keep on packing.Where were the sarongs, the SPF50 and her favourite flip-flops? Got them. Passport? Yep, in the drawer. Sunglasses? The next drawer.One thing at a time. Just keep on packing. Just keep on packing.
‘Please stop packing.’ The voice came from the doorway and made her jump. She hadn’t even heard him come in, too wrapped up in her thoughts.
‘How did you know I was here?’
‘The doorbell app,’ he replied, holding up his phone.
Ah. She’d forgotten about that bloody thing. Traitor.
‘Look, can we talk?’ he went on, and for the first time, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Did it make her a horrible person that she was glad he was having sleepless nights too?
‘On behalf of your clients?’ she asked, archly, as she tossed the ESPA skincare set that Drea had bought her for Christmas into the bag. She might have lost everything, but at least she’d be well moisturised.
‘Kara, it’s my job. You know that. I represent both Corbin and the studio – they’re my biggest clients. What was I supposed to do?’
She couldn’t believe she was going to have to spell this out for him yet again. Hadn’t they already covered this on the night it happened? ‘You were supposed to defend me. That’s it.’
‘And lose my clients?’
‘Or lose your fiancée.’
That must have struck home, because, for once, he didn’t seem to have anything more to say. Speechless. Silent. And it was completely out of character.
Josh’s talent for spinning any subject and charming everyone he met made him great at his job, but she’d realised not long after she met him that underneath all that affable professionalism, there was the laser-focused mind of someone who’d grown his company to be one of the largest PR firms in the city, landing a catalogue of impressive clients, including the Clydeside Studio and its flagship TV show. The role of his company was simple – to generate great publicity and squash anything that depicted the studio, the show or its stars in a negative light. He’d gone into full-scale damage limitation mode a couple of years before when one of their biggest names, Rex Marino, had made a complete arse of himself at a public eventand been exposed as a serial cheat. And at the same time, he was strategising long into the night to counter the backlash when the show ousted the beloved Odette Devine after forty years in the lead role. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have been a surprise that he was there today with Corbin, because a star being involved in an incident that could reflect badly on him was right in Josh’s wheelhouse.
There was one difference with this situation, though. Usually, it wasn’t down to Josh to make judgements on the situation, just to cover it up or fix it. On Hogmanay, he’d been forced to pick a side and he’d picked the wrong one. Now, she just wanted to get out of here and away from the guy who’d just made it clear that he valued his clients more than he valued her.
The sight of her throwing things in the holdall must have jolted a thought, because he suddenly blurted, ‘So you’re still going then? To Hawaii?’
