Eric turned to face her, and she realised his hand was still holding on to hers, and meanwhile, her hand was ignoring all commands from her brain to pull away. Eventually, her brain gave up and diverted to the memory section, throwing up images of the times they’d been here before. Eric had asked her to marry him right in this spot, and they’d kissed in this little alcove until Gino interrupted them because he needed two tiramisu and his banjo. On the night she’d told him she was pregnant with Emmy, they’d stood in here and he’d promised to be the best dad he could be to their child. And only a few years ago, shortly after she’d turned fifty, he’d gently pulled her in here at midnight, told her that marrying her was the best thing he’d ever done and that he couldn’t wait to grow old with her. Exactly two years later he had a mistress who told her differently.
‘Thank you for speaking to me,’ he said earnestly. ‘You look amazing, Ails. Stunning.’
‘I haven’t got long,’ Ailish immediately countered, quietly chuffed at the compliment, but playing it cool while trying to make sure he knew this wasn’t all on his terms and that she wasn’t just jumping because he snapped his fingers.
‘Okay, I’ll be quick. The thing is…’ He took a deep breath and then his exhalation brought a torrent of words with it. ‘Ailish, I’m so sorry. For everything. I’ve been such a prick and so bloody stupid. I’ve known almost from the start that I’d made a huge mistake, but then it just all exploded and it was too late to fix it. Next thing I knew, we were over and I was with Donna and…’
What was he saying? That he’d never wanted them to split up? That he regretted the whole affair?
‘You’ve been with her for over two years, Eric,’ she challenged him, drily. ‘That doesn’t sound like a brief error of judgement.’
‘You’re right. I think it just all got out of control and then I’d made my bed…’
‘Her bed,’ she said cattily. Jesus, she sounded like Rhonda.
‘Yes,’ he conceded, clearly embarrassed. Her unusually confrontational manner was pushing him right on to the back foot. ‘But like I said, it was a mistake. I can’t do it any more. I’ve ended it. Moved out. It’s over.’
Wow, she almost reeled from the shock of that. In no world had she seen that coming.
‘And I know I messed up so badly, but if we can put the last two years to one side, just for a second…’
Ailish’s mind was still on the news of his break-up. How did she feel about that? Relieved? Vindicated? Actually, just really, really fricking furious. Although, maybe a bit vindicated too.
He was still speaking. ‘…Then you can’t deny that we had thirty really happy years together. That has to say something?’ he implored.
‘It says you shouldn’t have left me for someone else,’ Ailish blurted, unable to stop herself from pointing out the obvious.
‘You’re right! And if I could go back, I swear, Ailish, I would change that. I honestly don’t know what the hell happened to me. I can’t expect you to forgive me, but all I’m asking is that you could find a way to at least be open to talking again and see where we go from there. I’ll do whatever you need me to, just to get you back. Please. I love you, Ailish. I always did. I just screwed up and forgot it for a minute. But I truly do. I love you.’
He loved her. He loved her. He. Loved. Her. Oh dear God, what were her insides doing? Her heart was thudding so fast, she was feeling giddy. Wasn’t this what she had thought about for two solid years now?
Rhonda’s question from earlier replayed in her mind.
‘What about Eric? If he ever came knocking on your door again, how would you feel? Would you consider taking him back?’
She now knew at least part of the answer. Stunned. That’s how she’d feel. As well as shocked and scared and all over the place.
All her intelligent, profound, meaningful words were stuck in her windpipe, so she could only manage, ‘I need… to… to… think about it.’
‘I totally understand. Take your time. Think about it. I saw Mum on my way in, so I’m going to go sit with her for a bit. But, Ailish, I want to start the new year with you. New page. New chapter. Please say yes.’
As she walked back towards her table, her thoughts were exploding like the fireworks that would light the city sky atmidnight. Did she want him back? She’d loved him so, so much for all of those years.
They’d had a life together. A history.
And she couldn’t ignore the tiny part of her that wanted to make it their future too.
30
EMMY
Back in the red leather booth, Emmy watched her parents in deep conversation over in the alcove, unsure as to whether or not she should intervene. She’d much rather go check on Gran, but she could see that Gino’s chair was still being occupied by Sonya, who was chatting away to Minnie.
She focused back on her parents again.
‘Should I go over there?’ she wondered aloud, in earshot of Rhonda and Gwen, who were also watching intently.
‘Only if you have a gun,’ Rhonda sniped, then climbed down a rung. ‘Sorry, I know it’s your dad, but I bear a grudge.’
