“Fine,” she whispered, choking on the words.
“Is it the prince?”
“It’s a myriad of things, Mother. I am tired. I am homesick. I miss my sister.”
I fell in love with her fiancé, I let myself think I could love a monster, I’ve implicated them both, I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked up.
At the mention of Astra, Oestera sat up straighter, falling back into her role of disappointed mother.
“Your sister does not seem to miss any one of us,” Oestera sighed. “She has not responded to a single note to her king in weeks.”
“Did he tell you that?” Lunelle asked, her shoulders perking up.
“Tula keeps her eyes on the mail drops,” Oestera explained. “You’ve seemed rather… unfocused these last few days.”
Lunelle’s eyes widened, a blush creeping over her pale freckles.
“How do you mean?”
Oestera shrugged. “I mean no offense, but we can’t afford to be anything other than fixed on our goals here, Lunelle. The news from the Outer Courts only gets more dire.”
It landed exactly as she needed it to, right between Lunelle’s ribs. She knew she’d been anything but the levelheaded leader she’d meant to be. Unfocused was generous, frankly.
“Mother…”
Oestera leaned forward, setting her teacup on the table between them.
Lunelle exhaled slowly, swallowing something painful.
“I’ve been meaning to make a request of you,” Oestera said, her starlight gaze roiling with an unusual fire. “After your trial, when you’re to come back through the Lunar Gate, I need you to wait for my signal. Just to be sure all is well.”
Lunelle’s eyes bounced from the table to Lura, who looked equally as perplexed.
“What wouldn’t be well, Mother?”
“Nothing in particular! I just remember from coronations past that sometimes the crowds get a bit raucous waiting for the Lunar champion to emerge, and I want to be sure everyone is prepared.”
Lunelle did not buy it, but she didn’t have any notion of what Oestera could possibly be on about. And she had more pressing matters to address.
“On the subject of champions…” Lunelle sighed, the pain within her flaring as she formed the harsh threats from Arcas into an easy lie. “I think it’s time we formalize my engagement to Arcas.”
It was not what Lunelle had wanted to say. It wasn’t at all what shethoughtshe’d be saying that morning. But it was what she needed to say.
“Are you sure?—”
“Yes. At tomorrow’s Equinox celebration. Please,” she added, avoiding eye contact.
“Is there… a reason for your rush?” Oestera’s nose scrunched, her thoughts nearly audible from across the room.
Lunelle glared. “No, Mother. None of that.”
Plenty of that,Lunelle thought. But that wasn’t her concern.
“Well, if that’s what you’d like, I can meet with the prince today. But Lunelle?—”
“Thank you,” she said, cutting her mother off. She rose and disappeared back into her room, leaving Oestera completely baffled.
Gods,it was painful—horrifyingly painful to say it out loud.
