“You seem off. I don’t know… anxious?”
“Yeah, well.” Another smile that she could only hold for a fraction of a second, a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Growing up can be tricky.”
Emma nodded, but silently she wondered for the thousandth time why Juniper felt like she couldn’t confide in her. Trying to nudge the conversation forward, she hazarded a guess.
“Are you upset about Fern?”
Jun let out a derisive snort of laughter.
“I would understand if you have mixed feelings about him seeing someone so soon.”
“Who your brother shacks up with is none of my business.”
Emma leaned back, shocked by her choice of words and by the bitterness in her tone.
And then she leaned in.
“Juniper, I’m worried about you. I want to help, but I don’t know how.”
Fear flashed through Juniper’s eyes, and in that moment she looked so young and frightened that Emma’s heart just about broke in two.
Then she blinked, and the walls went up again.
“I don’t care about Fern.” Juniper’s voice was steady and controlled, almost flat. “She’s great. He’s better when she’s around. Like, still sad, but not a dead man walking. Or a powder keg. And she obviously adores Teddy – like, worships him.”
“Okay, so you’re not upset about Fern.”
“No.”
“Or your mom?”
“No, not really. I mean, yeah, there’s a whole lot of trauma there. Aunt Toni keeps telling me I should see a therapist, but I don’t think talking to a stranger is what I need right now. And that’s not– it’s not why I–” Juniper’s voice broke and she pressed her hands to her eyes, holding back tears.
Emma slid off of her chair and knelt on the floor by the bed.
“Did something happen with Cody?”
Tears fell down Juniper’s face despite her best efforts to hold them back. She grabbed a t-shirt off the floor and used it to blow her nose.
“I haven’t talked to him in days,” she admitted. “He probably thinks I’m mad at him.”
“But you’re not?”
“No.” She shook her head so fast that a tear flew off and landed on the knee of her pajama pants. “He’s amazing. I don’t deserve him.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I just ghosted him. He has every right to hate me, but I know he doesn’t. He doesn’t hate anybody. He’s the nicest person in the world, but he’s still just a kid. I’m still just a kid.” She broke into a sob on the last word.
Emma took hold of Juniper’s hands. Her fingertips were cold, even though the sun was beating on the tin roof overhead.
“Junebug, please tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
Juniper took a shuddering breath and nodded, pulling herself together. She pulled her hands back and blew her nose again.
Emma watched her summon her courage.
“Auntie Em… I think I’m pregnant.”
