CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"You kissed her and then you did what?"
The faint rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds filled the air as Victor and Andrew walked through the estate gardens. He’d fallen asleep to the memory of the kiss...Alice’s lips on his, woken up with the thought of it, and even now, he could feel the lingering tingle as if the kiss had left a permanent mark.
"It’s for the best," Victor muttered, more to himself than to Andrew.
Andrew paused and turned to face him. "Why did you kiss her in the first place, Victor?"
Victor’s jaw tightened, and his gaze drifted off to the stretch of trees in the distance. The question lingered, unsettling in its simplicity, yet he had no clear answer for Andrew. It had felt right in the moment, natural—inevitable, even. But saying thataloud felt like admitting to something deeper, something he’d been avoiding.
After a long pause, he finally said, "It was a mistake. A… lapse in judgment."
"Please tell me you did not say that to her," Andrew asked, his eyes pleading. "That you did not call – what was probably her first kiss – a mistake."
"I didn’t say it to her," he answered.
Andrew sighed, relief evident in his shoulders as he muttered, "Thank heavens for small mercies." But his look of disbelief quickly returned. "So, what exactly happened? You both shared a kiss, and you told her you only married her for the fortune. What happened next?"
"I told her that love wasn’t something I could give her," he admitted, the words heavy in his mouth. "I had no choice."
"Lord have mercy," Andrew said. "You did that?"
"It’s the truth," he protested. "I don’t want to lie to her anymore, Andrew. It’s not my fault that I constantly want to tell her everything. She asked, and I couldn’t lie."
"But she’s angry with you?" Andrew asked. "How did she react when you said that to her? Did she hit you across the face?"
"No," Victor answered.
"Did she yell at you?"
"No," he answered again, feeling frustration creep into his chest. "She walked away. She just walked away."
Victor ran a hand through his hair, his heart racing with frustration. He had let himself get too close, allowed a moment of weakness to cloud his judgment, and now he was grappling with the consequences. The memory of Alice’s hurt gaze haunted him, a reminder of the line he had crossed. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he had not only hurt her but also trapped himself in a web of his own making. The very thing he had been trying to avoid had happened in an instant.
He felt cornered and afraid, yet he wasn’t sure what he was afraid of.
"I can’t change what I did, Andrew. I just—" He stopped and sighed. "I didn’t think ahead. I’ve never felt this way before so I am quite confused. I mean, I admit that perhaps, I shouldn’t have kissed her in that moment."
"Then why did you do it?"
"I just told you, I don’t know."
"For you to have kissed her, it means you felt something, right?" Andrew explained, his tone shifting to one of understanding. "Orrather, you feel something for her. Shouldn’t you pay attention to the feeling?"
"Why should I? It’s merely a feeling," Victor answered.
"I don’t know," Andrew said and massaged his nape.
"Look, I cannot explain why it happened. The kiss…the confession…the feeling. It just did." Victor explained, shaking his head in frustration. "I know myself better than anyone else. I’ve never been the kind of man who lets emotions dictate my choices. What is right, is right, and what is wrong is just that."
Andrew dug his hands into his hair. "You have always been stubborn."
"You should understand me better than anyone."
"I do, Victor. In some ways, we are alike," Andrew said, his gaze steady. "So, you should understand my confusion as well. I was hoping since you got married first, you could explain things to me from your elevated point of view. I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never been in your shoes. You have the opportunity to start a family. I never…in a million years thought you would ever find someone who could break through the walls you’ve built around yourself. But someone did. That is progress."
"No one is breaking through my walls," Victor insisted. "It was one kiss. She isn’t angry with me, is she? I mean, I told her the truth. She asked, and I was honest."
