Alice felt her heart swell at his words, a rush of warmth flooding her. His pride was a balm to her earlier insecurities, the pat on the back that she needed.
"Thank you," she said, fiddling with her fingers.
Alice took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts as she sat by Victor’s side. The silence that had settled between them wasn’t uncomfortable, so she let it linger, enjoying the momentary peace. But it didn’t take long before a thought occurred to her. She had received a letter from her parents days ago, tucked away in her desk.
"I got a letter from my parents a few days ago," she began, breaking the silence between them. "They want to come for a visit soon since they have never been here."
"That sounds like a good idea," he answered, nodding. "When are they arriving?"
"I haven’t…written back to them," she answered, hesitating. "I was hoping to speak to you about it first."
Victor’s eyebrows furrowed, his expression shifting to one of mild concern. "Alice, you don’t need my permission to invite your parents over."
"I wanted to make sure you were all right with it," she said to him. "I was hoping that when they arrive, we can all have dinner…together."
"That’s fine," he said. "Just tell me when."
"Thank you," she said, then turned to face. "Right, I’ve always been meaning to ask you this. Since we are discussing my parents, perhaps I can ask now."
Victor sat up and interlocked his fingers on the table. "Ask away."
"When the rumors began," she started by saying as she leaned forward. "The rumors that I was dead. Did my papa visit you to ask about me?"
Victor paused to think. "He wrote me a letter to ask about your wellbeing and I wrote back telling them that you were alive and well."
"A letter?" she questioned with widened eyes. "He sent one letter? He didn’t confront you?"
Victor shook his head. "Did they not write to you?"
Alice sighed. "No," she answered. "My sister wrote to me, and I wrote back, but she is married and lives in Northern England, so she had no idea there were rumors. I’m guessing once my papa confirmed from you that I was alive, and he heard from Lavinia and Emma, he didn’t bother to check in on me directly."
"You’re not close to your father, I presume?" Victor asked.
Alice feigned a smile and rose to her feet. "I’m not sure," she answered.
"Not sure?" Victor echoed and rose to his feet, too. "That sounds complicated."
"It is," she admitted, folding her arms as if to shield herself. "You see, my sister married first. Before that, she had always been the favorite child. She was…perfect, if I dare say. Brilliant, polite, very modest. It wasn’t a surprise when she got married to the Earl."
Alice sighed, unable to hold her smile. "I was always…awkward. It wasn’t on purpose, I promise. No matter how much I tried, I just couldn’t be her. I’m guessing that was my mistake from the start. I tried so hard to be someone else, and I realized who I was later in my life."
Victor sat on the edge of the table and crossed his arms. "How were you so different?"
"Oh, in many ways," she said. "Catherine has always been prettier. She also cared a lot about balls, and dancing. I didn’t. I tried, but I really hate balls. I was always so clumsy and whenever I got nervous, I would step on people’s toes. It wasn’t a good look for me, so then I started hiding. I hid so much that I became a wallflower."
"My papa was livid when that rumor started," she continued. "That no one was asking for my hand because I was clumsy and unladylike. I didn’t mind at first. At least I wasn’t forced todance with anyone after that. But then my papa started getting agitated. He couldn’t understand how he gave birth to polar opposites."
Victor was quiet, still. The subject of her family—more importantly, her father’s love—was sensitive for her, so she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eye. Instead, she stared at her hands, twisting her fingers nervously.
"I think… I think my papa expected me to follow my sisters’ path, and when I didn’t, he was disappointed in me," she continued, her voice trembling slightly. "When he finally found me a match, he started smiling at me again. At the time, I didn’t want to marry the Earl, but I was willing to do anything to please him. Then the Earl broke off the engagement, and suddenly I became your responsibility. It felt like I was being handed off, like I was no longer his concern but yours to manage."
Alice took a deep breath, summoning the courage to meet his gaze. But when their eyes locked, she was met with an unreadable expression on his face. She couldn’t gauge what he was thinking.
"I’m sorry, I said too much," she said and laughed awkwardly. "I don’t even know why I started talking about my family."
Victor shook his head. "You’re not something to manage, Alice," he finally said. "Your father had no right to compare you to your sister. You are your own person, and you are brilliant."
Alice looked away briefly, flustered. "You don’t have to say that, but thank you."
