Alice only nodded in response and lowered her head to stare at her fingers.
"I’m sorry if it’s lonely," he added. "But you knew what you were signing up for when you married a man like me."
"Who is that man?" she asked, throwing both hands in the air. "I have no idea what I signed up for. When we got married, I hadno idea what I was getting into. All I had to go by were rumors. But even now, after two whole years, I still don’t know who I married."
Victor didn’t know how to communicate it. How to tell her that he was just trying to protect her. To make sure that she never experienced the darkness that was – most of the time – the order of the day for him. He carried a burden alone, one he didn’t want to pass onto her. No one deserved to live in the darkness that he did.
It wasn’t fair to her.
"You just have to live your life, Alice," he told her. "As freely as you want."
"Your Grace, the only reason you have a wall is because you are hiding too much," she said. "You know almost everything about me and my family and I know nothing about yours. I don’t think that’s normal, no matter the circumstance surrounding this marriage. What was your papa like? Did you get along with your mama? Is there a reason you don’t have any siblings or close relatives? I have questions about you too, Your Grace."
Victor inhaled deeply. "You should call me Victor," he said. "For our plan to work, you need to call me Victor so we seem close enough."
"You’re changing the subject, Your Grace," she argued.
"Let me think about it, Alice," he said. "For now, let’s concentrate on the Crowell Ball, shall we? Please?"
Alice sighed and faintly smiled. "If you say so...Victor."
A smile formed on his lips on hearing her call his name. He turned back to stare out the window, allowing silence to settle in. Victor found himself stealing glances at Alice throughout the journey.
Alice was unable to take deep breaths. She’d thought that after two years away from society, she would be at ease with attending a ball, but as she took Victor’s hand and stepped out of the carriage, her dress suddenly felt tighter, constricting her chest. She held his hand a little more firmly than intended as if his presence might steady her at the moment.
And it did. Alice was aware of his presence, and strangely, she felt assured by it. Perhaps it was because society feared him, so she knew others would think twice before crossing her. Or maybe she had grown to rely on him in ways she hadn’t fully acknowledged. Whatever the reason, it was working. She looked up at him, catching the slightest flicker of reassurance in his gaze, and found herself more composed than she could have imagined.
"There is nothing to be scared of, Alice," Victor said as they walked side by side. "It’s just a ball."
"I’m not scared," she answered and swallowed. "I have no reason to be scared."
"Then what is it? You don’t like being seen with me?" he asked, looking at her. "Shouldn’t you have prepared yourself for this? It’s been two years."
Alice held his stare but didn’t respond. He had every reason to believe she was ashamed to be seen with him, and the thought only made her chest tighten. She had given him little to disprove it. After all, she recalled how nauseated she had been on their wedding day. It was so obvious that there were rumors he was holding her hostage.
"That’s also not it," she whispered, but not loud enough for him to hear. She clenched tightly to his arm, hoping her nerves would ease soon. No matter how many times she tried to convince herself that there was nothing to be nervous about, she couldn’t help it.
As they entered the ballroom, Alice felt every eye turn toward them. The entire room seemed to go still, conversations halting mid-sentence as people took in the sight of Victor and her. She could see the look of disbelief on many faces; some even looked as though they were staring at a ghost. Alice knew her marriage to the Duke had thrust her into the center of society’s attention, but she hadn’t imagined it would be this intense. She felt the weight of every gaze and the hush that followed them like a lingering shadow.
Victor’s expression, on the other hand, remained stoic, his gaze fixed ahead. He seemed unfazed, like he could take everyone on in a fight all at once. People were looking at him, but their gaze dared not linger for long. His presence alone demanded respect, even awe, of those around him.
Alice hadn’t considered it before, but now she wondered if Victor might be the shield she needed in her life. His sternness and the aura of distance he kept around himself gave him a certain power in society that few dared to challenge. She had feared coming back into society because she lacked the strength to tackle or debunk rumors of her death, but scanning the crowd, she noticed that everyone looked scared rather than curious.
"Your Grace."
A gentleman approached, and Alice instinctively released Victor’s arm, her hand dropping to her side as she took a small step back. The man offered a respectful bow, his wife mirroring his gesture with a polite nod. Alongside them were two younger girls, likely making their societal debut, who giggled softly behind their parents. Their gazes flickered to Alice, eyes wide with curiosity, before they curtsied, each of them casting quick, shy glances in her direction.
Alice greeted them back, surprised by their demeanor. Everyone else looked weary, whereas they, on the other hand, seemed....excited to see her.
Victor turned to the gentleman, engaging in conversation about business matters. Alice, now somewhat separated from his side,watched as the two young daughters of the man slowly made their way to her side. She stared at them with a questioning look, wondering what they were up to.
"Your Grace," they greeted and curtsied again.
Alice acknowledged them but remained silent.
"You look rather beautiful tonight, Your Grace," one of them – the taller one – said. "Simply ravishing."
"Thank you," Alice answered. "You both look very beautiful as well. You’re...sisters?"
