As he disappeared from view, she felt the rush that had enveloped her before fading, replaced by a simmering frustration. This was the second time Victor had reacted to her like this...acting without any reasonable justification.
It upset and confused Alice, and she had no idea what to make of it.
The atmosphere in the dining room was tense. Alice sat at the long, elegantly set table, her gaze fixed on the beautiful patterns on the China. She absentmindedly traced the rim of her cup with her fingers. The silence in the room felt heavy, interrupted only by the occasional clink of silverware and the distant chirping of birds outside the window.
Victor's expression remained unreadable. It was like he was wearing a mask of detachment, but it barely concealed the simmering anger that had built up since the incident at the lake. Beneath his composed facade, it was clear that he was frustrated and still angry. His jaw was clenched slightly as he ate, downing huge portions of food at a time.
As much as Alice just wanted to live in peace, she had stayed up all night thinking about Victor’s anger and the way he had reacted at the lake. She needed answers to the questions that swirled in her mind, questions that clung to her like a moth to a flame. It left her feeling restless, and she couldn’t take it anymore.
"I would like to know why I am not allowed to swim in the lake, Your Grace," she questioned and put down her fork. "I believe I should be able to swim if I want to."
"Eat, Alice," Victor said sharply, his gaze fixed firmly on his plate as if avoiding her question entirely.
"Why can’t I swim in the lake?" she pressed. "I should be able to swim if I want to swim. I do not appreciate you yelling at me for doing something that I like. You tend to do that, and I don’t like it. I have expressed this before and I would appreciate some understanding."
"You are not a child, Alice," he said sternly. "The lake is not a playground. You are a duchess, with responsibilities. Surely, you have better things to do."
"What does swimming in the lake have to do with my responsibilities as duchess?" she questioned.
"Just eat your breakfast, Alice," he said. "I don’t want to discuss this further."
"Well, I want to discuss it," she insisted. "I want to know why you got so angry that I went into the lake, why you got so angry that I sat by a window, and why you married me in the first place. Surely, it’s not because you need an heir, because it’s been two years, so you don’t seem like you are in a rush. Did you just marry me so I can idle around doing nothing, collecting dust like some porcelain on a shelf?"
"Why is that so bad?" he shot back. "Why can’t you sit still and do nothing? Everything you need is provided for you. What more could you possibly want?"
"A human being!" she blurted and rose to her feet. "I want to talk to someone. Why do you think Lavinia and Emma come here all the time? We sit and we have breakfast and lunch together in silence. You question everything I do, and you make demands. I talk to myself more than I talk to anyone else and that is not normal. Would it kill you to ask questions about me if you’re going to force me to sit here and eat with you every single day?"
Victor sat back and stared at her, exasperated. He lowered his head and swallowed, sitting silent for a moment before lifting his head.
"Sit down, Alice," he said quietly.
"I don’t want to," she responded. "I want to go upstairs and rest."
"You haven’t touched your food," he pointed out.
"Why should I listen to you, when you won’t answer any of my questions?" she asked.
"Because I’d rather not talk about myself," he answered. "But this is important. Trying to get along is important so we look cordial when we step out together. Deep down, you know how important it is to stop these rumors from spreading."
"I am not disputing that," she said. "But you’re not answering any of?—"
"I’m sorry I raised my voice at you," he said, cutting her off. "I shouldn’t have done that. I was... upset. It won’t happen again."
Alice took a deep breath as the tension in the air settled slightly. She lowered herself back into her seat, her gaze flickering to the untouched breakfast in front of her. Now that he had apologized – something she had never in a million years expected him to do – she didn’t know what to say anymore.
"Well, I am sorry for my reaction," she said.
"You don’t have to apologize," he said to her. "But I appreciate it. I still, however, insist that you don’t swim in the lake anymore. They are other things to occupy yourself with, I’m sure."
Alice still wanted to protest, but she was tired of arguing. So she just ate, feeling hungry all of a sudden. She figured that for peace to reign, she would oblige Victor’s request when he was aroundand swim whenever he wasn’t at the estate. That way, he didn’t get upset, and she still got to do the hobby she liked.
"So, tell me about the orangery," Victor said. "How’s it coming along?"
Alice expected the question. It was the only one he ever asked during breakfast. "Well..."
"Better yet, tell me why you want an orangery," he said and met her eyes.
A smile crept up on her lips, but she quickly forced it down, unwilling to acknowledge the warmth that simmered within her. She hated how easily impressed she was by Victor’s smallest gestures.
Yet, as she spoke with newfound enthusiasm about her plans for the orangery, it felt different this time. She felt his gaze on her, unwavering and intense. He was actually listening.
At that moment, she was torn between her resolve to keep her emotions in check and the undeniable pull Victor was starting to have over her.
