Allan blinked, shifting in his seat.
He knew Frederica’s home life had been difficult. He’d witnessed repeatedly how cruel her father’s expectations of her could be and even her mother’s high views on life which could belittle Frederica, but this was something new.
“I had never considered Frederica in that light,” he confessed in a whisper.
“I urge you to remember it,” Honora pleaded with him. “I know myself that life is not always easy, My Lord, but sometimes, there are reasons for it.”
“Found them!” Frederica suddenly called.
Honora turned happily in her chair as Allan sat dumbstruck in the seat.
Frederica moved to the table, shuffling the cards.
“What shall we play?” she asked.
Honora’s suggestion of Whist was quickly taken up though Allan lost every game he played that night. He was too distracted. Either he spent his time staring at Frederica, admiring her in that beautiful gown, or he stared at her thinking of what Honora had said.
Is she so afraid of happiness she is unable to indulge in it?
* * *
“Oh, how I shall miss you,” Honora gushed as she embraced Frederica.
The sun was beating down on them, basking the grounds in an intense heat as they said goodbye. Frederica was hardly in a rush to let go of her aunt either, so she just let Honora embrace her for as long as she wanted to, even though they had both been standing on the driveway beside the carriage for some time.
“I shall miss you too,” Frederica said softly as, at last, Honora let go of her. Fussing, Honora gently pushed a loose lock of Frederica’s hair back behind her ear.
“You will take care of yourself, won’t you?” Honora pleaded.
“I will,” Frederica promised.
“And you will write to me?”
“Of course.”
“Every day?”
“Maybe not every day,” Frederica laughed. “How about every week?”
“I should like that.” Honora smiled broadly. She took hold of Frederica’s hand and looked at the house, appraising it with her keen eyes. “I have a feeling you will be very content here, my dear. Just give it a little more time, and everything will come together.”
Frederica didn’t know what to say. She wondered if Honora had always had this same optimism. Was she so certain of happiness when she herself had escaped London to go and hide in Cornwall? Would she really look back on that optimism now and still believe in it? She had been alone for so long.
“Glass half full, dear,” Honora whispered, as if she could read Frederica’s thoughts. “Not half empty.”
“Yes, you are right.” Frederica turned to help her aunt into the carriage when a strange feeling passed over her.
It was as if she was being watched. She felt eyes most determinedly on her back.
As she released her aunt into the carriage, she turned on the spot, looking at the house, but every window was empty. She thought she might find Allan there, looking at her, but she knew that was mad. Lucy had assured her Allan had left early on another one of his walks around the estate that morning.
“Is everything well?” Honora asked from in the carriage.
“Perfectly,” Frederica lied, now peering past the carriage and towards the main gate of the estate. She thought she saw a shadow move, but then a thin strip of white cloud passed in front of the sun, and it was gone.
I imagined it. There was no one there watching me.
She shrugged it off, returning her focus to Honora.
