Frederica tilted her head to the side, listening as best as she could.
Are those footsteps? Are they leaving the room? No, surely not…
Yet she was so disorientated, she was struggling now. She reached out with both hands, fingers outstretched, trying to find someone.
Her hands found a solid chest. She flattened her fingers, feeling the edge of a waistcoat and a tailcoat.
She knew who it was on instinct, for he hadn’t moved away from her.
It’s Allan.
Then his hands moved to her waist.
Her breath hitched in her throat. He would not behave like this in front of company, surely? Was it possible they were completely alone in this room?
“Allan?” she whispered. “You lose. Your turn now.” She smiled.
“I lose, do I?” he murmured softly. There was a sort of teasing in his voice she couldn’t quite recognize. Neither one of them moved away as she marked the feeling of his hands on her waist and hers on his chest then she felt him move toward her.
The first brush of his lips was such a surprise that she stayed as still as a statue, her whole body turned to stone, then he pressed in a bit more. The kiss was chaste, but the stolen excitement made that lurch in her stomach grow until it felt like her body was being consumed by hundreds of fluttering butterflies.
Then it was over. He pulled back, and following the excitement, guilt swayed in.
I don’t deserve such happiness.
The thought struck her like a bolt of lightning.
She snapped the blindfold off her face, curling her hands into her chest, so she was no longer touching Allan. He stood before her, the door wide open behind him, showing that there was indeed no one else in the room with them.
He was smiling broadly, but she could not. Frederica felt at once that this wasn’t right. She couldn’t have such happiness, such kisses, such thrills.
I do not deserve them.
“Please, do not do that again.”
He frowned, instantly. That happy smile morphed into such a look of bafflement that the guilt only became worse.
“You seemed to like it,” he whispered. “You kissed me back…”
Yet she was already shaking his head, forcing him to trail off fast.
“Please, don’t do that again.” She backed away from him, moving out of his grasp. “Where are the others?”
“Peter made a break from the room, and Stephen ran after him. Benjamin saw an opportunity and went too. So everyone ran after them.” Allan said all this quickly, but he never took his eyes off her. “Are you honestly asking me never to kiss you again? Did you dislike it that much?”
“I didn’t say I disliked it.” She stumbled away from him, her words making her chest heave up and down. “I just…” She couldn’t form the right words, watching as he raised his eyebrows. “Please, just don’t do it again.” Then she ran from the room under the guise of finding their friends.
As she ran, she trailed her own fingers across her lips, thinking of the thrill of that kiss.
All I want is to do that again.
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
“Allan?” Frederica’s voice made him still in the doorway of his study.
For the last two days, he had been keeping his distance. Even at breakfast, he had either buried himself in his newspaper or pleaded a headache and gone walking early in the morning.
Every time he looked at her, he burned with the pain of her rejection. It was easier not to look at her, to try and avoid thinking of that kiss entirely.
