“Thank ye,” Gerard said, toasting him with that glass. “I’m just sayin’ that her experience of housin’ and a home is very different to yers, Allan. She wasnae exactly goin’ to move into yer house and feel like it was her home overnight.”
“When you put it like that, I feel like a fool for expecting it in the first place. I am not used to women being so cold. Usually, women like being around me.” Allan rubbed his brow in frustration.
I want it to be her home though. How do I make her feel at ease there?
“That’s you, the charmer,” Stephen said with a laugh. “May I also make another suggestion?” Stephen asked, sitting down on Allan’s other side. “Maybe this isn’t just about making her feel at home. Maybe you never really wanted a marriage that was for convenience at all. Now, she’s in your home, and it’s not a marriage of love… it’s harder.”
Allan sighed, knowing his friend was right. He hung his head forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared at the sports floor.
“You had a marriage for love,” Allan reminded Stephen who grimaced a little. “You are married to my sister, remember.”
“Ha! I wasn’t grimacing because it’s Dorothy. You know I love her.” Stephen smiled broadly. “I was merely thinking that it was hardly what I was expecting, to fall in love with her, after all our arguing.”
“It’s a fair point,” Gerard piped up. “Ye never ken what the future may hold.”
“What do you mean?” Allan asked.
“I mean…” Gerard leaned forward, catching his eye. “… I certainly never expected to have the title of a gentleman. I thought I’d be in Edinburgh forever, a man of business. Now, I have me business and me title too.” Then he smiled, the sudden softness lighting up the strong and rough face. “That was just one surprise in me life. Charlotte was the other.”
“She surprised you,” Allan whispered knowingly.
Gerard nodded.
“He’s right,” Stephen agreed. “Just because you and Frederica are finding it hard to be content with one another now, it doesn’t mean that will always be the way. You never know what is going to happen.”
“Give her time,” Gerard agreed. “She hasnae had an easy life.”
“Patience,” Stephen seconded.
“When did you two turn into my agony aunts?” Allan shook his head.
“That’s us, Auntie Gerry and Auntie Steph,” Gerard said and stood, holding the sword over his arm as if it were a reticule.
Allan and Stephen both erupted in laughter. The break from the tension — the release — was a wonderful thing for Allan.
“Right, my turn,” Stephen said as he jumped to his feet and moved toward Gerard with the foil.
As Allan watched them sparring, he thought carefully about everything his friends had said. There was much sense in it, the fact that he was being impatient, hoping for a happy marriage at once when such a thing would certainly be impossible after all that Frederica had been through.
What were you looking at during the ceremony, I wonder?
A memory shot across his mind. It was when she had glanced at the door of the church, biting her lip. Had she been hoping someone else would join the congregation? Or was she fearing it?
As Stephen managed for the first time to get a hit on Gerard, he celebrated so much that Gerard got him back twice. Stephen finished his parrying by cursing a lot, leaving Gerard to chuckle loudly.
“One thing more, my agony aunts,” Allan called to them. They both stopped and turned to face him. “Any suggestions of how to make her feel more at home? Other than just giving her time?”
“Gifts?” Stephen suggested though Gerard was already shaking his head.
“Gifts are nae enough.” Gerard leaned on the sword beside him. “She may like somethin’ sparkly, but it willnae change her nervousness unless it means somethin’ more. Give her something that will make her feel safe.” He smiled rather sadly. “Is that nae what everyone wants in this world? To feel safe?”
Allan blinked, considering how interesting this suggestion was.
When he’d come across Frederica in Almack’s Assembly Rooms, she had looked desperate. When she had been arguing with her parents and he’d walked in to propose, she was furious. Even at the wedding, she was consumed by sadness.
Ah, Freddie, I do not think I have seen you feeling anything remotely close to safe.
He stood, his mind made up. Both Gerard and Stephen were right. If he wanted his marriage to ever be happy, then he first had to let Frederica know that she was safe with him.
