Strangely, the sight gave Frederica some comfort — not to see their pain but to see the regret and that Ernest had enough compassion in him to comfort his wife after all.
Numbly, Frederica walked out with Allan. He helped her into the carriage, and she sat on the bench for a minute alone as Allan went to tell the driver where they were going next.
As she sat alone, Frederica hung her head in her hands. The first trilling sound was much like a gasp, like that of tears.
“Freddie?” Allan said in panic. “Are you crying?”
EPILOGUE
Allan pulled himself up into the carriage as quickly as he could, wrapping his arm around Frederica and pulling her into his side. The coach set off at once, moving along the cobbled road as he consoled her.
“I’m so sorry. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t even think they’d be as resistant as they were.” He filched inside his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, hurrying to find something with which she could dry her tears.
When he presented it to her though, he abruptly realized she was not crying at all. She sat straight, raising her face out of her hands, laughing. She laughed all the more when she saw the handkerchief in his clutches.
“You think I am crying?”
“What was your first clue?” He pointed out with a smile of his own.
“How can I cry now? I can’t stop laughing!” The sound kept on coming. She even rested a hand on her stomach, trying to calm that sound, though it was seemingly impossible.
Baffled and in awe, Allan just watched her. He couldn’t remember when he had last seen Frederica laugh with this amount of gusto — maybe not ever. He smiled as he watched her, resting her head on the back of the coach bench as she kept on laughing.
“Care to bring me in on this jest, so I can laugh with you?” he asked.
“I just can’t believe this feeling. I know, I know it’s mad to react like this.” She shook her head at her own behavior. “Yet I cannot help it.”
She sat forward, turning to face him fully. “For so long, every time I have been in my parents’ company, I have felt this overwhelming agony. It has been… unbearable.” Her eyes were alight now. “I always feel this pit in my stomach, that I am disappointing them or am about to disappoint them.”
“That’s an awful way to spend your days.”
“That’s just it. It is.” She nodded fervently. “Then just now, that pit disappeared. Poof, it vanished. Suddenly, I wasn’t just looking at my parents, whom I have tried to please for so long. I was looking at two people. Two people who were desperate for advantage and good opinion, who didn’t want to see anything bad happening in front of them.”
She scrunched up her nose, deep in thought. “It’s quite pitiful really, isn’t it?”
“They are, yes.” He nodded happily with her. “So, you feel free?”
“I feel ridiculously free.” She sat forward, peering out of the window. “In fact, let’s do something mad.”
“Mad? Like what?” he asked.
“Like something my parents never would have approved of.”
Allan laughed and promptly suggested all sorts of mad things they could do, but all would require preparation. He even suggested they take a trip together, somewhere beyond London or Cornwall. She happily agreed to such a suggestion. Although they could not accomplish such a thing at that moment, and she still wished to do something now.
When the carriage pulled up at their house, Allan was still in a daze as he stared at her happy face. This was as he had wanted to see her for so long. Now, she was smiling so much, he couldn’t believe his luck.
“I know what we’ll do,” Frederica spoke with sudden determination and opened the door.
Allan raced to follow her, jumping down from the carriage. He quickly thanked the driver and the footman then moved to follow Frederica. Only, she didn’t go to the house. Instead, she went straight for the garden, making her way around the house.
He had to run to catch up with her, reaching her just as she stepped through the garden gate and into the rose garden.
“What are we doing?” he asked, coming to a stop beside her.
“Being free.” She reached for her hair and suddenly unbound all the tendrils that were fastened at the back of her head.
Allan couldn’t help but watch her. So far, he’d only seen her hair loose once before. Being already deeply attracted to her, the sight of unbound hair was teasing him madly.
