“There was nothing so wrong with him, was there?” her father prompted, withdrawing his hand.
“He was inappropriate,” she insisted, her gaze drifting to the dance floor of Lord and Lady Mawdesley’s ballroom.
The gentleman in question had already found a replacement—a shy young thing in a pale pink gown—and was waiting with her on the periphery until the last set finished. He glanced back over his shoulder, finding Valeria’s stare. Turning up his nose, he flashed her one more glare before he returned his attention to his new partner.
“He said I was trying to tempt him,” she added, shaking off her displeasure.
Her father sighed. “It sounds as if he was trying to flirt with you, my dear girl. A little flirtation is not inappropriate; itshouldbe encouraging.”
“You were not there. You cannot understand the nuances as I do, after experiencing them these past seven years,” she replied. “I know when a gentleman is well-intentioned and when he is not. He saw me as easy prey, that is all, directed by his parents.”
Aaron turned his face away, pretending to observe a conversation between gentlemen happening on the other side of the grand ballroom, near to the garden doors.
Out of the corner of her eye, Valeria saw his throat bob, a muscle tensed in his jaw.
“I know this is hard for you,” he murmured, his voice thick. “You shouldnothave to behave differently. You should not have to do anything you do not wish to do.”
Valeria’s heart ached for her father. She weaved her arm through his, forgetting the unpleasantness of her encounter with that man, forgetting her annoyance at the situation. Nothing mattered more to her than her father. Her family. It had been just the two of them for five-and-ten years, and it pained her to see him in distress, especially when she could alleviate it.
“I have never learned to be lenient with suitors,” she told him in earnest. “That is my deficit, but I will improve. I know that I must. I know what it means for this Season to be a success, at last, for me. I promise, Papa, I will do better.”
“But you should not have to,” he whispered, almost to himself. “It is all my fault. I am so very sorry, Valery.”
She hugged his arm to her. “There is no need to apologize, nor do I blame you. You are right that I must learn to be softer. I should have learned that long ago. It is my duty to wed, not to battle against it. I have delayed enough; I cannot delay anymore.”
She willed him to look at her, but he would not. He continued to stare toward the garden doors as if he might find a solution in the glinting panes and the shadows of cypress trees beyond, his demeanor heavy, his shoulder sagging under the weight of his dismay.
“I am used to reacting in a certain way,” she continued, “and it takes time to undo the habits of so many years. I assure you, I am working on becoming aslightlydifferent version of myself. More palatable.”
He turned at last, his eyes shining with sadness. “I do not deserve a daughter like you.”
“Nonsense,” she replied. “Come, let us have some refreshment, and then I shall venture back into the crowds and begin again, with a smile upon my face and nothing but charming humor and flattery upon my tongue.”
She adopted one such smile as she looked at him, hoping to cheer his spirits. When he was sad, she felt it too, and could not bear it when he was depressed. It reminded her of bygone days that she would sooner forget, when he wandered their home like a ghost. If she could help it, she would never allow that to happen again, for any reason.
“I truly do not deserve you,” he said, allowing her to lead him from the ballroom to the refreshments.
And though they sipped punch and ate sweet delicacies from the vast array that were displayed on the refreshment tables, chuckling over the inebriated condition of three very young gentlemen, resuming some semblance of normality, Valeria knew it could not and would not last.
Their situation was dire, and it would not be gone by morning, nor any day soon if she did not act. Indeed, their very future relied upon her. If that meant being the silent, eyelash-fluttering, doll of a woman that gentlemen desired to marry, then so be it—that was what, from now on, she would be.
I will save us, Papa. No matter what it costs me.
She observed a small cluster of doll-like young ladies who gossiped nearby, hoping for inspiration.
“No, no, heishere! I saw him myself,” one whispered excitedly.
“You would do well to ignore him,” another replied tartly. “No good can come of even looking at that rogue.”
The first sighed. “How can onenotlook? He is… divine.”
“He is the very opposite,” the second chided. “Just a dance with him would be enough to mar your reputation.”
The third young woman leaned in close to her two friends. “But would it not be worth it, just to be so close to such a man? Goodness, I read the scandal sheets, and I know I should be appalled, but I find myself…”
“Utterly jealous?” the first blurted out, descending into giddy giggles.
“Precisely!” the third woman said, grinning, while the dour-faced second rolled her eyes.
