Louisa pressed herself into his chest for a moment, clinging to him as desperately as if she might drown otherwise. "Cedric, oh Cedric I love you too. I love you so. Please, please love me."
"I do," he said, kissing her forehead again, then her hair, his arms going around her to pull her to his lap and hold her close and safe. "I love you more than I can say, my love, my sweet wife. I love you more than I have ever loved."
She was weeping now, but they were tears that felt like they were cleansing her. Like they were healing. "I love you more than I knew it was possible to love. I have felt so lost without you, Cedric, so alone."
"Ah sweetheart," he pressed another kiss to her lips gently. "Forgive me. I am new to loving my wife but I promise that I shall work to become better at it."
"You had better work hard, my lord," she said with a weak laugh, leaning her cheek to his. "I intend to be loved by you for many years to come!"
"For all the years we have," he agreed. "For the rest of our lives, Louisa. Forever."
EPILOGUE
"Ishould be the one to do it."
Louisa levelled an even stare at Cedric, and then smiled as he wilted backwards in the carriage, raising his hands in surrender. "I'm not saying you can't do it, my love. You are strong and I know you can. But I am saying that you don't have to shoulder this burden alone. I can help you. I can do this if you need me to."
Louisa reached across and stroked her finger gently down his cheek, relishing the love and concern in his eyes. "My darling, you are too sweet for words. I know you would do anything for me. But I promise you I'm fine. And I know myself, and I need to do this alone."
Cedric still looked dubious so Louisa leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Trust me?" she whispered softly against his lips.
Cedric gazed at her, a maelstrom of emotion swirling in his bright blue eyes. "I do." he whispered back.
Louisa smiled as she pushed open the carriage door. "Wait for me here? I won't be long."
As Louisa ascended the steps to the front door, she was keenly aware of the rustling of drapes in the rooms either side of it. The servants must have heard the carriage pull up and seen her on the stoop. She took a breath and raised her hand, knocking firmly on the door.
There was a pause, long enough for Louisa to panic that she would simply be refused admittance entirely. As she dithered, wondering whether to flee back to the carriage with her tail between her legs, the door swung open and she came face to face with a tall, hard-nosed butler.
"Can I help you, my lady?" He boomed.
Louisa gathered her strength back up. "I am here to see Lady Bettie Beaumont. You may tell her it is Lady St Vincent."
She noted with some satisfaction that the butler got even stiffer when he heard her surname. Still, he stood firm. "I'm afraid I am not aware of Lady Bettie sending invitations for any visitors today, Lady St Vincent. Do you have an appointment?"
Louisa raised her chin definitely. "I do not. But rest assured, Lady Bettie will wish to hear what I have to say."
The butler's reluctance to accept this was finally overruled by his inability to leave a Lady standing on the doorstep. He stepped aside to allow Louisa entrance, and tilted into a bow. "If you would be so kind as to wait here, my lady. I shall inform Lady Bettie of your presence."
He glided away, leaving Louisa to take in her surroundings. She had never been to the Beaumont residence before, and she cast her eye over the opulent entrance hall.Pretty tapestries. And the statues too. It's a wonder they can fit any people in here.
Her judgements were interrupted by a polite cough, and she turned to find the butler had returned. He gestured for her to follow him. "Lady Bettie would be most pleased to see you over tea in the drawing room. I will show you the way."
Louisa barely kept herself from scoffing at the idea that Bettie Beaumont would be 'most pleased' by anything at all relating to her, but nonetheless followed him along the corridor and into a bright, airy drawing room.
Bettie was sitting in an overstuffed wingback armchair, a pot of tea beside her and a book in her hand. Louisa recognized it - she was sure she'd read the same one in St Vincent's library, back when she was avoiding Cedric and her duties every chance she got.
The butler led her to the chair opposite Bettie and announced, "Lady St Vincent, my lady."
"Thank you Evans, you can go." Bettie dismissed him with a wave of her hand, and Louisa remembered how brisk she could be. Bettie stood slowly in order to face her. Louisa tried hard not to stare at the soft round swell now only partially disguised by her flowing day dress. Bettie cleared her throat and Louisa's eyes snapped up to meet hers. Bettie glared, challenging her for a moment, before sighing. "Oh sit down, Lady St Vincent."
Louisa sat slowly, watching as Bettie did the same. She looked tired, Louisa thought. She was hiding it well enough but there were shadows under her eyes that Louisa could swear hadn't been there the last time they had met.Well I suppose the last time we met was at her wedding and it's not like things went swimmingly then or since, is it?
Bettie's voice broke through the tense silence. "I must say, I am shocked Lady St Vincent. I would have thought someone would've taught you the appropriate manners befitting an earl's wife if you weren't blessed with the knowledge already. Don't you know it's incredibly rude to pay a visit on a lady without prior invitation?"
Louisa laughed hollowly. "Frankly, Lady Bettie, I don't give a damn." Bettie's expression turned from a snake appraising her prey into genuine shock at Louisa's outburst. Louisa continued, ignoring her outrage. "To be perfectly honest, I am struggling to understand why I should care a jot about whether you think I'm rude when you have so callously abused myself and my husband.
Bettie gaped. "Iabusedyou?In case you have quite forgotten, you ruined my wedding." Her hand unconsciously droppedto her stomach as she said it, and the anger burning in Louisa dimmed slightly. She could never understand Bettie's predicament first hand of course, but she knew the girl had limited options given her situation and had clearly gone for the one she hoped would work best.
