"Do you want to see your sainted mother brought to penury? Your grandfather in the debtors gaol? No? Well in that case you will be on the next boat to the continent. I am sure that you canfind passage somewhere for some price, and if you begin to think that the comforts of those who have had the misfortune to love you is a fair price to pay for England, I tell you this. No club will ever accept your business again, Danbury. I will spread the word. Your business is doomed, your lands will be cut off from patronage, no man or woman in society will spare you a word of good day. You will be ruined and penniless and I will ruin everything you have ever touched to be sure that there is not a scrap of happiness left for you. That is what remains for you in England if you stay. Do you understand me?"
Danbury crept to his knees, wobbling as he fought his way onto his feet, face wild and scared. "You can't do that."
Cedric smiled. "Do you want to test that theory?"
Perhaps it was the smile that settled the matter. Danbury went the color of spoiled milk and nearly collapsed back onto the ground before turning and pelting out of the garden, leaving his hat and stick behind him and at least one of his rings.
Cedric took a deep breath, hoped that he would not see that fear reflected towards him from his wife as well and turned to look at her. She was so faint and pale under the lamplight, her eyes wide and her cheeks so white that she might as easily be a ghost.
I should have killed him with my own hands, Cedric thought, unsure if he should approach her or if she would be frightened by him as well.I should have torn his limbs from his body the moment that he dared to force his touch upon her.
Louisa could barely catch her breath, she felt as though she had been shot through with lightning and that every nerve in her body was alight with fear and horror. Fine tremors were running from her fingers up to her arms and then settling into her body where she felt the shaking take hold with more vengeance.
For a moment - for more than one moment she had been certain that she was to be hurt so badly that she did not think she would survive it. Nothing that she had done had made an impact on Danbury. His arms were too strong, he was too tall and he was able to pin her with the weight of his body no matter what she might throw at him.
Her thoughts had then turned to Cedric, Cedric who had never touched or treated her this way, who had let her set her own boundaries, who would never have let any man hurt her even if he did not care for her how she wanted him to.
I am sorryshe thought desperately.I have been a fool and I am sorry. I am sorry. I will not long for more than you can give me again but please -
She did not know if it was a prayer but he had been there the next moment, tearing Danbury away from her and letting her take a breath that was not stifled with too much cologne and cigars. Seeing him fight was mesmerizing. No one moved the way that Cedric did, with the liquid lethality of a great cat stalking its prey. Danbury had no hope, not even when he triedto attack Cedric's back - but then when Cedric spoke she felt her knees grow weak and her trembling increase.
He cared. Even if he didn't love her he cared enough to do this. Even if it were only because Cedric Pembroke was a decent man and all decent men must revolt when presented with a man like Danbury. He cared and he had protected her and she wanted so badly to have him hold her in his arms and tell her that all would be well.
She wanted to be loved. No matter what she could tell herself she would get she wanted to be loved and cared for. It struck through her heart knowing that she would not have it ever again. Her eyes were hot with tears as Danbury fled and she ached for arms that would not hold her no matter how much she longed for it.
"Are you well, my lady?" Cedric asked, voice low and concerned. He was looking her over to make sure that there was no obvious injury. Louisa found that she felt fainter than she had thought, her head swimming as she stepped back, searching for the bench and enough space to catch her breath.
There was a look of pain on Cedric's face as she moved away from him that she couldn't understand.
"Louisa, are you well?"
"I need to go home," she said in a whisper.
"What is that?" he was knelt before her in the wet grass, eyes boring into her heart with a promise that she knew he would never be able to keep. "What do you need?"
"Take me home," she said, trying to speak louder and not sure that she was managing. "Please take me home. I want to be home."
Cedric opened his mouth. For a terrible moment Louisa thought that he might argue with her, tell her that they would need to stay until the party was over for appearances sake, but instead he nodded his head slowly. "I will summon our carriage. We will return home immediately. Can I get you a small brandy in the meantime? It will steady your nerves."
At the mention of brandy Louisa could feel Danbury's body pressed against hers again, smothering and controlling her and she shook her head hard, afraid she would retch. Cedric was kind and did not press her. He was kind again and did not try to make her talk. Her head was spinning too greatly for her to be able to keep track of what she needed to say, what she had to do.
After a few moments he swept her up into his arms, his strong muscles bunching as he followed a man who had seemed to appear out of nowhere. How had she not noticed him send away or the man return? Was time moving right? Her head was pounding in time to her heartbeat and she felt still as though she could not really breathe. Would people see? Would they add this to the long list of her supposed sins?
Cedric took them directly to their couch and placed her in a seat as delicately as if she had been some fragile china doll belonging to Abigail. Was she? Was she a doll who belonged to the children to him? A fragile precious thing that needed to be protected but could not be cherished because no one over the age of ten could love a doll?
Her thoughts were so jumbled. Louisa felt as though she were fevered and drunk and sick at once and leaned her sore heated forehead against the window of the carriage, barely paying attention to how it jolted along on the ride home.
"I shall have Ellis draw you a bath as soon as we get in," Cedric said, the words coming in and out of focus for her as though she were looking up at them through water. "You will be chilled from the shock. Then I shall get you a hot tea and a little bread and put you to bed, my dear. You are trembling still."
Perhaps she was meant to speak now but she could not think of a thing to say. All her words were slipping through her fingers. She could only look at his sweet, kind face and wish over and over again that he could love her. She did not, however, meet his eyes. Cedric could see through so many walls. He would see how she still loved him and wanted him and he would make her go away again or tell her that he could not love her and it would kill her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
As they drew to a stop in the sweeping drive of St Vincent, Cedric thought that he might need to carry Louisa up to the house, she was so pale and quiet. However she managed with a little aid from Collins to dismount the carriage and even walked ahead of him to the house, pausing in the entryway. She didn't meet his eyes, her gaze fixed on the floor at her feet and such an appearance of defeated weariness over her that his heart ached to see it.
"Thank you," she said softly, her tone flat and devoid of feeling. "You have saved me again."
"It was my honor to do so," Cedric said feelingly. "No man should act that way to a lady."
