"Stop that," Louisa said, crossing to the punch and collecting a glass. It was too sweet, too full of cranberries floating to the top like nasty little red bugs but she was thirsty so she sipped it to cool herself. "Don't say such things to me."
"Why not?"
Why not?? Why not! Was the man mad? Was he trying to drive her mad? Was this how he was going to extricate himself from a marriage he had never wanted - drive her into insanity and claim a divorce? Louisa reminded herself that she was not to swear, she was not to stare, she was not to raise her voice. She was a paragon of virtue tonight, there could be nothing that anyone could scold her about.
"It is not proper for you to speak so to me, my lord," she said instead, as primly as she could. She started to walk back towards the dance floor where no doubt she would have to dance with a half dozen men who would be thinking the worst things about her and wondering what she would let them do to her and everyone would bethinkingit andoh she might sob she might scream -
"I will have you remember that you are my wife, Louisa. I will call you beautiful if I wish to."
Louisa turned to him, sharply. She could feel that flush on her cheeks and knew that her eyes were flashing fire. Everything that she wanted to say to him rose within her throat, everything that she had wanted to say ever since that horrible meeting that morning in his office until now.
Oh I'm your wife now, am I? I thought that our marriage was merely on paper?
Since when do you tell people you have a business arrangement with that they are beautiful, Cedric? Perhaps this is why everyone thinks that you are a rake, hmm?
Would you make up your mind what you want from me? It is you, you who has made this so hard! I was happy just being your partner and your friend. I was happy with what we had and you, you sir, were the one to kiss me and ruin it! You did that and then you acted as though I was the one getting ideas above my station!
Oh I hate you Cedric Pembroke, I hate you and I hate that I love you!
"Please," she said instead out loud. "Do not call me that."
"Youare, I shall not call you anything else."
Of course not. Louisa stared at him for a moment, understanding with grim certainty what her life would be like now. The pretense of marriage whenever that was what he wanted, the withdrawal of affections the second he was done with her, the absolute dismissal of her own desires whenever she should tell him what she wanted.
He would never back down and having a public fight would only fuel those who were speaking behind her back.
"You are insufferable," she said, smiling at him with only her lips. "Excuse me, sir." She turned and she walked quickly away, tears blurring her vision the moment she had her back to him. She would never again be able to feel safe by his side, like he would take care of her and protect her. It was just her, her against the cold world alone, with a sham marriage to a cold man who would never ever love her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
It should not have been possible for him to immediately lose sight of the most stunning woman at the ball, but it felt as though she was there one moment, slowly walking away from him and the next the crowd had swallowed her.
This was not what he had wanted when he had started out the evening. He hadplans. It had been in his mind that he would approach her with consideration, give her space and let her get used to being near him again, try to win her back gently and instead she got under his skin and he was telling her that she could not forbid him from calling her beautiful.
It is not the time to be stubborn, Pembroke, he thought to himself as he strode through the crowd, trying to use his height to peer over the heads of the gathering and pick out where she was.It is the time to mend, not to demand, damn it all.
No woman alive had ever made him feel as frustrated, confused or out of control as Louisa.
"Lord St Vincent!" a lady called, distracting him the moment he thought he had spotted a fluttering of embellished white satin and calling his attention to several ladies on the edge of the dancing all looking at him over their fans like predators watching a wounded gazelle. "What a delight to meet you here, my lord. Please let me introduce my sisters to you."
As tempted as he was to walk away, there was no way to do so now that he had made eye contact. There was no way anyone would believe that he had not seen them or heard their invitation and worsening his reputation at this moment was the last thing that the St Vincent title needed.
"Ladies," he said coolly, crossing to them and making a bare bow as they chirped and chattered. They asked after his roses, they asked after his horses and his wife and his estate and he could tell that they were looking for specific information but not what that was. It was a good few moments before he could make his apologies and escape. By that time Louisa was long gone from the ballroom.
He had two choices. Stand around looking cross or wander around looking like a wet puppy who had been deserted by his lady. Neither sat well with him. Cedric Pembroke did not pine. He would not pine. He would remain in command of himself and find some matter of conversation to have while Louisa threw her tantrum.
Yes.
It was decided. Cedric was not going to chase after her. He would wait for her to return to him, as she would have to. That was the best way forwards.
This decision was far easier to make than to hold to. There was no lack of conversation to be had at the party, for sure, but no matter what happened the lack of her at his side burned like a barely healing wound. He could not think of anything but the fact that he did not know where she was and she might be in need of him. He was certainly in need of her.
"My lord?" a woman's voice interrupted his thoughts and for a moment he thought perhaps Louisa had made her way back to him, but on second glance it was her younger sister, Alexandra Balfour. She was looking at him with eyes that were a little too cold and a little too assessing for his liking.
"Miss Balfour," he said, bowing his head slightly. "I did not know that you were attending tonight."
"Indeed, my lord, I was hoping to see my sister but I have not had the pleasure as yet. Did she accompany you here tonight?"
