She seemed to be fighting a smile which Cedric found encouraging. "My lord, you have much more important things to be busying yourself with."
"And yet this is what I want to spend my time doing. Come now, out with it."
Louisa sighed and pressed a palm to her head. "You will never let up until you get your own way, will you my lord?"
He grinned, fierce and bright. "It is a talent."
"It is not a talent, sir, it is quite definitively a flaw!" she stood and paced from him, so he followed her, fighting a laugh. "You think that you can dictate everything that happened around you. What business is it of yours what I wear to a party or where I spend my evenings or what stories I tell the children?"
"I never said I minded you telling stories to the children," he said mildly enough that she spun and caught him smiling at her.
"And this! You are humoring me! That is what you are doing, humoring me! Instead of deciding things you should have talked to me first. I was quite embarrassed when I spoke to the modiste and found you had already sent her instructions without even letting me know."
Cedric crossed his arms. "In a perfect world I would have taken you there myself and chosen a color that would look well with my suit alongside you. As I was not able to attend I did not want there to be any misunderstanding on the matter. I am the Earl and you are my wife. You were therefore to have the best dress that money can buy."
Oh the man was impossible! Louisa wanted to fling up her hands and shout at him or storm away to her room, but he would just follow after her and keep acting like he was being logical and reasonable instead of an arrogant man deciding what she would wear because he was her husband.
"I don'twanta fancy dress, Cedric!"
He looked startled. Perhaps it was the passion in her voice or the first time that she had used his Christian name, she didn't know. But she kept speaking quickly before he could talk over her and make it sound like his point of view was the only reasonable one to have.
"I don't want to wear something eye-catching and beautiful, something everyone will stare at and talk about. People will be staring at me enough without it! I hate when people look at me, I have always hated it. It feels like they can see right through me to my bones and it makes me feel like I'm being - " she caught her words, shoved them back down her throat as hard as she could. No. Too much. Too open. Too honest. "I hate being stared at and with the wedding we will be the most stared at and noticed people at the party. I do not want to wear a dress that will only make that worse!"
Cedric was looking at her as though he was seeing something entirely new about her, and Louisa wasn't sure that she liked it. He took a step towards her, gaze dark and weighty. "I am the Earl of St Vincent. I am the wealthiest man in the county - if not the entire British Isles. The Pembroke name holds weight, holds history. You are my wife, Louisa. I will not allow my wife to attend a social gathering in anything less than the best no matter what."
He was close to her now, one hand catching her chin so she was forced to look him in the eyes. "Do you understand me?"
Her heart was thudding loudly in her ears and she could not take her eyes off him. Any time he touched her it felt as though his skin seared hers, burning and hot. "But I don't want -"
He frowned, his voice lowering into something deep and commanding. "I will not force you to wear it. You do not have to wear it. But I will have you understand that you are married to a man who is always in the spotlight and therefore you will be in the spotlight along with me."
Louisa swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry.
"More than this," he said, his voice quieter and gentler. "No matter what you do there is no hiding what you are. You are an astounding woman. You will always be noticed, Louisa. You may have managed to fade into the background for a while but you were never going to be overlooked for long. Everyone will see what I see."
What?
Her mouth was hanging open, her skin warm where he had touched her.
What did he mean by that? What was he saying?
Louisa felt faint, like she might collapse, like she couldn't catch her breath. Cedric was still looking at her with that expression, like he was trying to see into her and she couldn't look away from his piercing eyes. Those eyes slowly dipped, skimmed to focus onher lips and she realized that they were close enough to touch - close enough that she could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her skin.
Her lips tingled and she wet them nervously.Oh I should move. I should back away. I should go back to my room and remember this changes nothing.
But she couldn't move. She could barely breathe.
Cedric stood for a long moment as though frozen, looking at her. Then he cleared his throat and stepped back.
"Good evening, my lady," he said, voice rough.
Before she could reply he had left the room, leaving her breathless and confused and needing to splash her red cheeks with water so badly that she almost fled back to her room. She wasn't sure what any of that had been but she was sure that she had somehow lost that particular argument. She left the book she had been reading and wrapped herself tighter in her wrap, hurrying to the safety of her bedroom and flinging herself on her bed.
Would she ever understand her husband? For that matter, would she ever understand herself? Somehow she was going to end up wearing the dress he had bought her, she just knew it.
CHAPTER TWELVE
"Can you see them?"
