CHAPTER ONE
"Iknowwhat you aredoing!"
Louisa Balfour froze a little at the hissed voice just behind her. "Everyone can see what I'm doing, Lexi. I am clearly getting more punch. That is why I have a glass in my hand and my steps are directed towards the punch bowl."
Her younger sister took her arm, grip tight in the soft white gloves she was wearing and green eyes flashing with annoyance. "Come walk with me, sister," she said loud enough to be heard by the passersby and Louisa let out a soft groan as she was led back towards where the guests of the ball were mingling and talking. Alexandra continued in a softer voice that drew no attention. "I refuse to allow you to ruin your reputation, Louisa. No more nonsense. I am not going to let you out of my sight for a second, I swear it."
Alexandra was a darling, but she was the most practical of the five of the sisters and she had never really understood the fierceneed that lived in Louisa's heart todosomething.Louisa placed a hand over Alexandra's own and gave it a little squeeze, wishing that they were not in such a crowded place.
"It's Evelina that you should be keeping so close to, Lexi," she said, in her best, most cajoling tone. "She will soon get worn out and need to find a seat as a young mother, and you know that we promised to keep close to her and cause her no bother."
"Exactly," Alexandra said, a smile on her face that did not reach her eyes. "I am performing the spirit of that agreement, sister dearest. We will be causing not a moment of bother to Evelina. We won't go running out into the middle of a rain storm to dance like a hellion, for instance."
"No one saw me and it wasjust one time."
"What about that time the gardener very nearly caught you out of doors in a pair of trousers you stole from Papa's wardrobe?"
"Nearly is the word there, darling. Nearly! I was not caught and I have not been seen and my reputation is perfectly intact."
They had reached a little alcove and Alexandra finally let go of her tight grip on Louisa's arm to rub her hands together anxiously, a tiny frown marring her smooth forehead. "I cannot deal with the stress, Lou," she said softly. "Why must you insist on taking these chances when it can mean such disaster? Not just for you but for all of us! Evelina and Margaret would weather the storm but what might it mean for me and Penelope if you were to be ruined by gossip?"
Louisa bit her lip, turning to look out of the window next to them, out over the dark expanse of the estate where the light of the moon was glinting off the deep waters of the nearby lake. It was a cold beauty that called to her, like if she could somehow reach it, absorb it into herself she might feel more real. She hated the bustle of balls and social events. The noise and all the movement were nearly overwhelming and someone alwayswantedsomething, totalkor todance.
"I'm careful," she said lowly. It hurt a little that Alexandra would doubt this, might question whether she would risk not only her own safety but that of her family. She knew that Alexandra did not approve of the secret little list of daring deeds she had made for herself, but she could not help that. She had sworn to herself a long time ago that she would achieve these things.
"I know you mean to be," Alexandra said, her lovely dark hair framing her soft heart-shaped face in a way that made her look older than Louisa, not younger by a year. "I certainly know you would never knowingly bring us harm. But it's so hard to believe you can indeed be circumspect when I also know that you attended the De Farney party last month where you drank enough that you were quite merry and gambled away your reticule."
"I wore a mask! Everyone wore a mask!"
"You know how I - you know how dangerous gambling can be," Alexandra said, her eyes darting away from Louisa and towards the cheerful ballroom crowd. "I don't know why you are sodetermined to finish this list, Lou. Especially considering the last item on it, youknowhow I feel about that."
"Lexi," Louisa lowered her voice, catching Alexandra by the hands. "You are worried about nothing. I am not going to kiss someone at the ball while Evelina is somewhere in the crowd. She would murder me in such a beautiful and elegant way that it would become an art work and gentlemen and ladies from around the globe would come to admire it."
Alexandra hid a laugh behind her fan, eyes sparkling. "Please come with me to check on her. We will have punch and talk about the children and whether or not she and Margaret married best friends on purpose so that they would be able to see each other all the time. I know that they both look mysterious on purpose whenever we bring it up, but I am certain that it must be so."
"Very well," Louisa said, squeezing her hands again. "Let me go and fix my toilette and I will help you to convince her to finally reveal her secrets."
Alexandra laughed again, though her eyes were still suspicious. "That is not your intention, Lou. We both know that."
Louisa bit her lip. "Do not say anything, Lexi, please."
"What if Evelina finds out? What if she asks where you are, or worse what if she sees you returning and wants to know why you are all wet??"
"Just pretend that you know nothing about it, please?"
Alexandra sighed heavily. "I know nothing about it, as usual. I am definitely not awaiting your return on pins and needles of anxiety that you might be caught and I won't be staring at the lake in anguish for the next half hour."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Louisa embraced her quickly and hurried away.
As Louisa made her way through the large old estate towards a door (any door) to the outside she wished with all her heart that Alexandra did not know aboutThe List. It was something she had crafted for herself in secret and it would have stayed a secret from everyone, even her very dear sisters who knew most of her inner soul if she had been given any say in it.
However instead she had been caught, a little foolish thoughtlessness, a piece of paper left too obvious on her writing nook and naturally sharing her chamber with Alexandra meant it was the very most practical of all her sisters who now knew about her plan.
It was not even so very bad as all that! Alexandra was determined that it would ruin them all, but Louisa had managed three of the five items already and no one was the wiser.
To think that the wallflower, the quiet little sister of the Balfour girls who never spoke up or danced and was too shy to converse with strangers had already dared so much!
And now she was to do one more thing, the fourth on the list, leaving the most daring for last. She was going to swim in the lake. It was dark so it was not likely she would be spotted and she had brought an old dark gown that she would change into when she was safely out of sight. The party would have everyone's attention. No one would notice a dark figure in the water. Then she would be done with it and be back to drink punch and laugh with her sisters.
