“What are you doing here?” Gabriel asked, walking around Cedric and moving toward Theodore. He didn’t take a seat but braced himself against the back of an armchair. “Evelina is going out of her mind. Margaret wrote to her the day you left. Evelina can’t believe you would walk out on your wife. Neither can I!”
“It’s not so simple as walking out on a wife.”
“Isn’t it? Because it seems bloody simple to me!” The venom in Gabriel’s voice showed just how indignant he was, and in what high esteem he held Margaret. “You have walked out on your wife. You have abandoned her. That is the simple truth.”
“You make it too simple.” Theodore took another sip of whisky. He reached for the decanter beside him, but Cedric took it away before he could, then took the seat beside him, blocking any access to the liquor again. “Why are you two here?”
“Why do you think?” Cedric said with a shrug. “We fancied a sullen conversation with miserable company.”
“Be serious, for what god-damned minute, I beg you,” snapped Gabriel.
“Very well.” Cedric nodded. “To talk some sense into you, cousin.” He gestured to Theodore. “If the rumors are true and you have walked out on Margaret –”
“Rumors? People know already?” Theodore murmured in surprise.
“Of course they do. Do you imagine the staff do not talk to their friends in other households? Do you imagine they in turn don’t talk to their masters? Your exit from the house will be in the scandal sheets by the end of the week. You mark my words,” Gabriel hissed. “I cannot believe you of all people would be so blinded not to have seen what would come of your actions.”
“Ignore him for a minute,” Cedric pleaded with a flick of his fingers.
“Rather hard, he won’t stop wearing a hole in my carpet.” Theodore nodded at how Gabriel was marching up and down.
“Then look at me.” Cedric waved an impatient hand again. “Theodore, I do not believe you wanted to walk out on your wife.”
“And you know the way my mind works, do you?” Theodore said, his voice seething with anger.
“I know the way you gripped onto her when I came near her. I know the way you ordered me not to touch her when I came to say goodbye to you both that night of my dinner party.” Cedric smiled, rather sadly. “Maybe I am not a man who could love one woman, Theodore, but clearly you are.”
“Pah! Is that what you think I am? You think I am in love?” Theodore repeated in alarm, nearly dropping his whisky glass. “You’re sorely mistaken.” Yet there was such a sudden ache in his chest that he rubbed the center of his sternum.
“I think your mother and father starved you of any love so much, that you can’t recognize it even when you feel it,” Cedric said calmly.
“Don’t you dare analyze me!” Theodore spat.
“Very well, then let me do the analyzing.” Gabriel took over, marching toward Theodore. “Because your actions beggar belief!” He waved madly toward Theodore. “You were growing close to your wife. Whether you call it love, affection, companionship, or any much colder wordyouwould probably choose for it, you felt something for her.”
“I –” Yet Theodore was cut off by Gabriel speaking quickly.
“Yet you turn your back on her. Just as you’re getting close, perhaps looking forward to a future when you are not living so alone…” He paused and gestured to the lonesome flat around him. “You pull away from her. Why? Tell me, why is that?”
Theodore couldn’t summon words. He felt belittled by his friend, a sensation that was unfamiliar to him. Between him and Gabriel, there was usually respect and understanding, but not now. Gabriel understood him no more than a stranger, it seemed.
When Theodore still said nothing and just continued to play with the empty glass, Cedric sat forward.
“Because you’ve shut everyone else out. Why should your wife be no different?” Cedric’s simple words broke something in Theodore. He put the glass down beside him and slumped back in his seat. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“She deserves to be happy.” The words escaped Theodore in a rush. “She deserved a proper marriage. A better husband. What has she got instead?” He paused, unable to look either of them in the eye. He settled himself for staring into the distance across the room instead. “She’s got a scarred husband who only knows how to hurt and be hurt.”
“I do not believe that,” Gabriel said, his voice as passionate as before, but quieter now.
“It’s the truth.”
“No, it isn’t. Or would I still be your friend after all these years?” Gabriel walked forward, slumping down into the third seat in the room and shaking his head. “For God’s sake, Theodore. Your mother and father punished you enough as a child, for no good reason. Don’t continue to starve yourself of any affection now just because… it’s a feeling that scares you.”
Theodore blinked. Was that what this was? Despite all his insistence on strength, despite believing himself brave for bearing with the pain delivered on him over the years, now when it mattered, did he lack courage to take a risk?
The door burst open again.
“You brought people to drag me out of this room?” Theodore turned to face Cedric who was already shaking his head.
