“I mean, that you mentioned Evelina clutching her stomach a lot.”
Margaret nodded once again. How could she tell Theodore that she feared their father’s influence infecting the next generation, too? How could she tell him that there was yet another reason why she thought of Evelina and the new baby that would soon be arriving so much?
“What is it, Maggie?” His voice had softened so much, it urged her to incline her head toward him a little.
When he spoke like this, it was almost easy to forget that he could be as cold as stone. Instead, she thought of his kindness. She thought of his insistence on buying her new things, the way he had signed happily for all the new furniture she had brought into the house. She also thought of their breakfasts together.
The last couple of days, they had both managed to laugh a little as they shared their food, talking about what was in the news that day. They never spoke of anything serious to the two of them, yet all the nonsense they spoke of together meantsomethingto her.
“Maggie?” he pleaded again. “What is it?”
“I always thought that someday… I’d have a family of my own.” She couldn’t look at him as she made this confession. She pulled his crock coat tighter around her shoulders and kept her gaze firmly on the garden.
She felt the way she had ruffled his feathers though. He reset his position beside her, standing tall.
“I am not asking you for a family,” she added hastily. “Believe me, you made yourself perfectly clear on what you felt about that matter before, but it means also persuading myself to let go of that wish. Does that make sense?”
“It does.” He nodded, looking down between them. “There are always wishes in life we sometimes have to let go of.”
“You have wishes of your own you have relinquished?”
“Of course.” Though the way he refused to look at her now told her that he was not going to reveal to her what those things were.
“I will let go of it,” she assured him. “I will be a devoted aunt and a loving sister. That will be my purpose.”
His hand slid near hers on the railing. She was so tempted to reach out and touch his hand with hers, but she held herself back. It would be too much, to reach out and touch him as she longed to do so now. She could just picture how he would pull back from her, then this soft and warm moment between them, despite the cold air, would dissipate.
“I suppose I have completed much of my purpose for being here in this world for my father’s sake,” she said quickly, trying to move the conversation on so she stopped dwelling on thoughts of touching Theo’s hand. “I have improved my father’s reputation by marrying a duke, and you say by marrying into another titled family, I have improved your name in business too?”
Theo nodded, though he did not smile.
“Does this thought no longer please you?”
“One’s worth in this world is not summarized by reputation.”
“You have changed your tune,” she remarked with a small, amused smile.
“I never said it was all that I thought of.” He turned to face her. “One’s worth lies in their character, and if you want to spend your life devoted to the welfare and happiness of your sisters…”He paused and smiled fully. He looked entirely different, his face lit up.
She was rather reminded of the darkness being transformed by the bright moon.
“Then I think that is a wonderful way to spend a life,” he assured her.
“Thank you.” She leaned a little toward him, her temptation growing by the second to touch his hand, though the coldness in the air and the distance between their hands seemed very great now, even if it was a small distance indeed. “You really can be quite comforting when you want to be. I used to think you’re like a statue.”
“Cold and immovable? It would not be the first time I’ve been likened to such a thing. Don’t worry, the statue will be here again soon enough.” He smiled a little and she giggled at his jest.
“I hope not.” She shook her head. “I like it when you are not that statue.”
He said nothing but held onto that smile a little as he looked out over the garden.
“It’s getting colder,” he observed. “Shall we go back inside?”
“Yes.” She turned her back on the view, still pulling his frock coat tightly around her body as she walked inside. He followed her, locking the door behind them.
Neither of them walked particularly quickly toward their chambers but ambled slowly, side by side.
“How come you were out here?” she asked after a minute or so of companionable silence.
