“Ihave ruined it,” Caroline whispered softly, blowing steam off the hot cup of tea she cradled in her hands. “I got what I wanted, I had my dream in my grasp, and I… made a mess of it.”
Phoebe pushed a plate of lemon cakes toward her, across the kitchen counter. “Nothing is ruined, Caro. Nor did you make a mess of anything—you told the truth and that is a noble thing.”
“How can you say that when I have ruined your ball too?” Caroline murmured, her voice thick with sorrow. “No one can speak of anything else, and you are down here in the kitchens with me when you ought to be up there with your guests.”
Matilda laughed. “Come, Caro, it is the duty of the Spinsters’ Club to find the quietest room at any ball tobeapart from it. We have never been social butterflies, and that has not changed.”
“We go where the drinks and cakes are,” Leah agreed, nudging a bottle of brandy toward Caroline in case she would prefer thatover the tea. “We always have, and as you are one of us, this is precisely where we should all be.”
Caroline took a lemon cake to be polite, but she did not take a bite. “I should have been honest with him from the beginning. I should have explained that Dickie was only doing what I had asked and that neither of us cared what happened to our reputations.” She paused. “The trouble is, I was naïve. I do not think I actually knew what might befall me if I had not married Max that day. What is happening above is a morsel of what would have happened, and… it is awful.”
“We would have protected you,” Olivia insisted. “And we will protect you now.”
Caroline took a sip of her tea, wincing as it burned her tongue. “I do not deserve your protection. I just… want to talk to Max. I just want to explain and apologize and… make him understand that, although it was not what I thought I wanted, marrying him was… the opposite of a mistake. It was the luckiest day of my life, for so many reasons.”
“You are right that you should not have lied,” Anna chimed in, her brow furrowed. “But my brother will not abandon you. It must have been a shock to him, that is all, and once he has had time to think through it all, he will come to you.”
Caroline swallowed uncomfortably. “Are you very angry with me, Anna?”
Of all the women gathered in the room, Anna was the last person that Caroline had wanted to upset. Indeed, there was still a lot that Caroline felt she needed to apologize to Anna for—embroiling herself in a scandal with one brother, marrying the other, and then knotting them both into another scandal with her.
“I am not angry,” Anna said with a sigh. “I am sad for Max, I am bewildered by Dickie, and… I just wish that this would all blow over quickly, for everyone’s sake. In truth, I am more curious to understand what you meant by having your dream in your grasp.”
Caroline took a shaky breath, concentrating on a fragment of tea leaf that floated in her cup. “I… was falling in love with him. I never thought it would be possible with him, but I have discovered over the past weeks that he is… everything I have ever dreamed of. But a relationship built on a lie is a relationship built on sand. Now, it has crumbled, and I do not know how to fix it. I do not know if I can, because I have hurt your brother enough.”
Olivia gasped. “You were falling in love with him?”
“It is hard not to,” Caroline admitted with a sad smile. “You all know him. You all spoke highly of him when I could not see the truth of what he was. He is… so much more than I deserve, even if he cannot love me in return.”
Anna quirked an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”
“He told me some things,” Caroline replied, determined to keep one last secret, so as not to alter Anna’s memory of her own childhood. “He alluded to the fact that love is… not possible for him. It is too difficult for him. But now, I would be willing to accept a loveless marriage if it means he stays at my side.”
Phoebe clicked her tongue. “Loveless? Hardly. I am not blind, Caro. I think he cares a lot more than you think he does, and I only saw you together briefly.”
“What?” Caroline sat up straighter. “You think there is hope for us?”
Olivia reached over and patted her gently on the back. “There is always hope, dear Caro. For all of us, there were times when we thought we might not find happiness in our marriages, but everything turned out well in the end. I am certain it will be the same for you and Max, if you really do feel something for him.”
“But do not relenttooeasily,” Matilda interjected. “Yes, apologize for lying. Yes, be remorseful about the initial misunderstanding. However, do not apologize for taking responsibility for your own part in matters. You wanted to sparehisreputation and thatis courage, Caro. You should not lose that.”
Anna nodded. “I agree. You were not in the wrong for that. Truly, I am grateful that you spoke up for him.”
“I think you will emerge from this as a stronger couple,” Leah said, stealing a lemon cake. “I can feel it in my bones.”
Listening to the kindly advice of all of her friends, Caroline knew what she had to do, and she could not do it from the kitchens of Phoebe’s London residence. They were right—she wasnotgoing to apologize for standing up for him when he was the best of gentlemen, but shewouldfight to keep him because, at last, she had a man worth fighting for. Even if the opponent was her own mistakes.
“I should return home,” Caroline said in a rush. “When he has had time to think, he will go there. I should be waiting for him, so we can speak more calmly, and hopefully remedy this.”
Matilda clapped her hands together. “Go and claim your man, Caro!”
“But be gentle with him,” Anna added quietly, an anxious smile on her face. “He is not used to someone taking care of him the way he takes care of everyone else, so it might be uncomfortable for him.”
Phoebe got up and put an arm around Caroline’s shoulders. “And if tonight is not the night for this talk, and he is still not ready, then know that the door to this house is always open to you. You are family. Wewillprotect you, no matter what.”
“I could not have said it better myself,” Olivia agreed.
The Spinsters’ Club surrounded Caroline, following Phoebe’s lead in putting their arms around their youngest, honorary member. They hugged her as one and, in the middle of that caring circle, Caroline drew strength and courage. Everythingshe would need to try and convince her husband that they could continue on, and that nothing needed to change, even if society’s opinion did.
