Leah held her friends tighter. “It is my own fault. I pulled aside the curtain between fantasy and reality.”
“Do not say that!” Matilda scolded. “It is not your fault. If he had not kissed you, perhaps there would be an argument for that, but he did, so cease with those sorts of thoughts. He is entirely to blame.”
“We ought to chase him down and throw eggs at him,” Anna insisted, taking everyone by surprise. “What? Am I not allowed to be furious? The wretched man kissed her andthentold her it was over! I hate nothing more than I hate someone raising another’s hopes before dashing them soundly.”
Phoebe sighed. “I am guessing you have not yet officially broken the courtship as I saw no hint of it in the scandal sheets.”
“I could not muster the courage,” Leah admitted, averting her gaze from Matilda’s. Their fearless leader did not know the meaning of the word “cowardice,” and she did not have the emotional vigor to be judged.
Anna shook her head solemnly. “A pugilist. Of all the things I might have suspected, that would not have been it.”
“He is rather famous, apparently.” Leah inhaled sharply, forcing back a second wave of inconsolable sobs. She did not want to have to think of him at all; it was too painful.
Matilda eyed Leah closely. “Did you have any suspicions about it?”
“None, and… I do not want to use that as my reason for breaking… the courtship. It is his secret, not… mine,” Leah replied, struggling through her sentences. “But if I do not use that, I do not know… how I shall keep the blame from… me. Perhaps, I do not want to. Let them… spurn me. I no longer care.”
Phoebe made a grumble of dissent. “Use it. He has given you permission. Your reputation will be spared, and his will barely be dented. He will likely become a luminary amongst society’s gentlemen, and the younger ladies will find it ever-so mysterious and dashing. Only the older generations will scorn him, and that will not last long.” She patted Leah’s back. “It is the best way, Leah, for everyone.”
“My mama will be crushed,” Leah breathed, trembling with the effort of holding herself together.
Phoebe smiled. “She will understand.”
“And you will not have to do anything,” Matilda interjected. “We shall inform the appropriate individuals of what has happened, so that the news spreads quickly. I am already conjuring the story in my head as we speak. We can even tell your mother and father if you cannot. That is why you have us, my dearest Leah. We are your champions, always and forever, and if you do not have the strength to do this, we shall be your voice and your might.”
Anna nodded. “And once we have protected your reputation,thenwe shall chase him down and throw eggs at him.”
“I am in utter agreement,” Matilda said, smiling.
But Phoebe seemed pensive, her gaze faraway.
“What are you thinking?” Leah prodded.
Phoebe hesitated for a moment. “I am pondering things, that is all.” She paused. “You do not know where we might find this “Bill” individual, do you?”
“The warehouses on the London Docks is all I know,” Leah replied, curious. “Why do you ask?”
Phoebe shrugged. “No reason. Indeed, it was a foolish notion.” She put on a smile, but Leah could still see cogs turning in her friend’s eyes. “Of course, we will tell society what has happened, just as soon as you wish us to. And then, yes, we shall go and throw eggs at Nathaniel. Rotten ones, as stinky as possible.”
Deciding she was imagining things, Leah took a breath. “I will inform my parents first. Once I have told them, I shall send word to you to proceed.” Her breath caught in her throat. “Then, it shall truly be over.”
“And he said he was doing this to protect you?” Phoebe blurted out.
Leah nodded uncertainly.
“From what? From him?” Phoebe pressed as if trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together in her mind. Leah wanted to tell her that it was no use, for she had been trying to do the same thing for four days to no avail.
Instead, she replied, “I assume so.”
“Well then, perhaps hehasdone a good thing,” Phoebe said, doubt clinging to her voice. “Nathaniel knows himself better than anyone. None of us would want to see you hurt if it turned out that he was like his father.”
Matilda nodded. “Certainly not.” She rested a hand on Leah’s shoulder, squeezing it. “The pain will lessen, or so I am told. Now, is there anything we can fetch for you? You look atrocious. Perhaps, some tea or some soup or I could ask that a bath be drawn for you?”
“Is it that bad?” Leah mustered a tight laugh.
“You are still the most beautiful of brokenhearted ladies, but youarebeginning to fester somewhat,” Matilda replied, for she was nothing if not honest. “So, what do you say?”
Leah dabbed a stray tear from her cheek. “I will get out of bed, I will take a bath, I will eat, I will drink some water, and I will refresh myself. Then I will tell my mother and father what has happened.” She dreaded every step as she spoke. “But I must do it alone, for I will lose my nerve if you are all here, standing beside me.”
