Phoebe nodded feebly as she was helped into her pelisse. “Leah will remain, of course, and tell me of all the wonderful revels you enjoy this evening. I am so very sorry, Tabitha.”
“Do not apologize!” Mrs. Dibney urged, her tone genuine. “Goodness, if I had known you were unwell, I would have insisted on you returning home. You silly thing. Of course, I appreciate the dedication—you have always been so dedicated to your friends—but, perhaps, this is one lesson you will finally learn. You cannot do everything. Sometimes, you must listen to your body and rest, dear girl.”
Phoebe fanned her face. “I shall try to learn it.”
“Lady Leah, you should return to the dinner table,” Mrs. Dibney insisted. “The poultry dish is about to be served, and I do not want to confuse the servants. Inform them of Phoebe’s early departure and tell them to take her dish back to the kitchens where they can save it for their own dinner, later.”
Leah hesitated. “Will you be well on your own?”
“Quite well,” Phoebe replied with a wan smile.
“I shall ensure she is safely settled in her carriage,” Mrs. Dibney assured, nudging Leah back toward the dining room.
With no other choice, and not wanting to insult the host’s wishes, Leah retraced her steps to the dining room, glancing back over her shoulder in time to see Phoebe and Mrs. Dibney embracing warmly. In many ways, Leah supposed that Mrs. Dibney was the maternal figure she had been lacking, and if anyone could persuade Phoebe that she did not have to do it all alone, maybe it would be her former governess.
There will be snow in July before that happens,Leah knew, deep down, as she entered the dining room once more.
Chatter babbled all around the oval table, everyone in merry spirits after drinking liberally poured glasses of wine that were never permitted to empty, and no one seemed to notice Leah. Even Nathaniel did not seem to, nor did Jonathan—perhaps because they appeared to be in the midst of a heated discussion, leaning over the empty chairs between them like rutting stags who were waiting to make the first strike with their antlers. Indeed, it took Leah a moment longer to realize that Dorothy had also vacated her chair and was nowhere to be seen.
As Leah returned to her seat, the two gentlemen rocked back to their former positions as if they had not said a word to one another.
“Am I interrupting?” Leah could not help but ask, for Jonathan’s cheeks were a pulsing shade of red, and Nathaniel’s eyes were still narrowed. The empty plate in front of him could not have been the cause, for he had just said how delicious the fish was.
Jonathan smirked. “I was merely making observations that your acquaintance took offense to, Lady Leah.”
“Her beloved,” Nathaniel shot back. “Youare the acquaintance. A speck of ash upon the pages of her life.”
Beloved…Leah’s heart skipped, surprising her. She had never been anyone’s beloved before, and even though her skipping heart knew it was a performance, that did not make the sound of it from his lips any less pleasant. Although, Jonathan’s presence did.
“What observations?” Leah asked, as the footmen swept in to take away whatever was left of the fish course, moving as one in a domestic ballet.
Jonathan cooled his cheeks with the back of his hand. “I was remarking upon the departure of you and my wife—how different you are. My wife is always attired in the latest fashions, gaining admiration for her appearance wherever she goes, so everyone notices when she departs to powder her nose. And you… are attired the same way you were when I met you… goodness, how many years ago was it? Five? That is all I said—that it was… interesting to see you in those same gowns and dresses. Quaint, really.”
Leah bristled. He knew full well how long it had been since they met.
“And I told him that one must have nothing interesting to converse about if the only thing one notices about one’s beloved is their attire. A shallow affection,” Nathaniel replied, smiling. “I think you look beautiful, dearest Leah. This hue of purple has always become you well, bringing out the green of your eyes, but it is your smile and your laughter and your wit and your intellect that becomes you best of all, andthat,my darling, shall always be fashionable.” He lifted his hand to her face, pushing back a lock of hair that immediately sprang forward again. He laughed at the stubbornness.
Around the table, every lady stopped talking, some of them freezing mid-sentence so their mouths hung open as they stared at Leah and Nathaniel. The gentlemen, of course, twittered on with whatever they had been saying, oblivious to the diverted attention of their female neighbors.
Leah blinked, her skin tingling where his fingertips had lightly brushed her cheek in their bid to restrain the wayward hair. And gazing up at him, she began to understand why poets and writers insisted that a person could drown in another’s eyes. Those deep, dark blue pools were pulling her in if not pulling her under.
Behind her, Jonathan made a noise of disgust, but she barely heard it, submerged in the charm of her “beloved.”
“I have had no cause to purchase new gowns,” Leah explained, feeling a little self-conscious—not because of Jonathan’s words, necessarily, but because she was sitting next to the most eligible bachelor in England, who wore a beautiful burgundy tailcoat and matching waistcoat, embroidered with gold feathers, that was certainly new for the season. And because he had called her “beloved,” and because he looked the way he did and said the sweet things that he did.
Nathaniel let his hand drop, catching hold of hers beneath the table to give it a reassuring squeeze before he returned his hands to the surface of the table where all could see there was nothing untoward afoot. “I would not care if you wore the gowns your mother wore when she was your age. I do not care for anything that society has to say about how anyone “should” do things. Wear trousers and a riding jacket if you please.” He grinned. “You are everything I have searched for, just as you are.”
What?Leah’s heart pounded harder in her chest, the blood rushing in her ears and making her dizzy, until she caught the gleam of irreverence in his eyes and the discreet wink that followed. Her traitorous heart sank in confusing disappointment; he did not mean that she was the woman he had been searching for but the conspirator.Of course, that is what he meant!she scolded herself, flushing at the mistake.
“You should hear her play the pianoforte,” Jonathan muttered, “then you might change your mind.”
Nathaniel arched an eyebrow. “You play the pianoforte?”
“It is… a passion of mine,” Leah confessed quietly, wishing she had the nerve to throw her glass of claret all over Jonathan. Why could he not keep his mouth shut after all he had done? Why did she have to be miserable so that he could feel victorious? It was not as if she was the one who had abandonedhimon his wedding day.
“If the Viscount is rude about your playing, then I am certain it must be excellent,” Nathaniel said, apparently unaware that the entire dining room was watching their interaction. His gaze was fixed upon Leah and had not strayed.
Leah smiled, dropping her chin to her chest. “I have improved over the past three years,” she admitted. “It was my sanctuary for a long time, sitting in the music room at the Abbey, playing for hours and hours until I had mastered a piece of music. But much like my gowns, I have had no cause to display anything in recent years.”
