There, standing on the periphery of the dance floor, was Percival. He was staring in her direction, as still as a statue, but as their eyes met, those sweet lips of his curved into the smallest, saddest of smiles. With it, that panicked sensation writhed with renewed vengeance and, for just a moment, she thought she might faint there and then.
What is the meaning of this?She had never been afraid of Percival before. She had never been afraid to be near him. Indeed, the only feelings he ever conjured within her were annoyance and irritation and occasionally blind rage. Before he discovered who she was, at least.
Evidently, Anna needed to have a word with Beatrice about what she was putting into the drinks at the Grayling Estate, because something was addling her mind.
Simon was clearly the better gentleman. He was kind, he was respectful, he showed his interest, and though he might not have been the most exciting of gentlemen, he was reliable. A fellow of good fortune, good station: Any spinster’s dream as a last shot at happiness.
We are not the prince and princess, Percival.They had a respectively tragic beginning, and a quarrelsome middle, so how could either one of them even think they might have a happy ending?
CHAPTERNINETEEN
“We must have missed them,” Simon said, standing up on tiptoe, straining his gaze across the beautiful gardens below. “Do you see them?”
Anna braced her hands against the balustrade and sucked in deep breaths of the cool air. “I am afraid I do not. Although, my sight is somewhat blurry, so that might be why.”
There were others standing along the terrace in small groups, also seeking out the cooler air, but they paid no attention to Anna and Simon. Indeed, they all seemed to be fascinated by something happening out on the gleaming lawns, close to the fishpond. There were men diligently preparing something, though Anna did not know what; she was too busy concentrating on getting air in and out of her twisting lungs.
“I was certain I had seen them venture out here,” Simon mumbled, resting his hands on his hips.
Anna licked her dry lips. “Were you hoping to engage in a discussion with Daniel? He has been relentlessly popular since he married Phoebe; every man and their fathers coming to him for advice on matters of business.”
“Pardon?” Simon frowned, distracted.
Anna’s legs trembled, a cold sweat prickling down the back of her neck. “Is it Daniel you were specifically seeking?”
“Oh… um… yes, I suppose so.”
Anna peered up at him. “You do not sound certain.”
Simon turned and leaned against the balustrade, gazing back into the ballroom. The golden light danced across his face, illuminating the contortion of emotions that tightened and relaxed and creased his features. He folded his arms across his chest and dipped his chin, staring down at the flagstones.
“I had assumed that the Duke of Granville was interested in courting Lady Caroline. It was what I had heard,” he said quietly. “In recent days, seeing him show his affections to Lady Joan, and then dancing with you tonight, I realized I was mistaken. You must understand, Lady Anna—I am but an Earl. I could never compete with a Duke.”
A sweep of dizziness claimed Anna for a second time, and if it had not been for the stone balustrade in front of her, she would certainly have collapsed. “His Grace has no interest in me. He is not a competitor for my affections.”
“Lady Anna, you misunderstand,” Simon replied haltingly. “Hewasmy competition, but now he is not.”
Anna swallowed past the lump in her throat. “What do you mean? Please, Lord Luminport, speak plainly.”
“I have… admired Lady Caroline since the very moment of her debut,” Simone explained stiffly, still refusing to look up from the ground. “The most radiant creature I have ever beheld. The sort of lady any gentleman would be fortunate indeed to have as a wife, but when I heard that the Duke of Granville had made his suit, I knew I was no rival.
“And you were charming and amusing. An exemplary dinner companion, and a lady who I knew to be a close acquaintance of Lady Caroline.” His throat bobbed, as he fidgeted with his cuffs. “I hoped to discover from you if Lady Caroline returned His Grace’s affections, but I could not find the right moment. Indeed, it has been impossible to have just a minute in Lady Caroline’s company, for she has a never-ending stream of potential suitors.”
Squeezing her eyes shut, a familiar sensation crept across her skin, as if icy fingernails were being dragged across her pale flesh. “You… used me to get close to Caro?”
“Now, do not say it like that,” Simon argued in a hushed whisper. “At first, that was my intention, but then I saw Lady Caroline and His Grace enjoying one another’s company in the Orangery, and I thought—well, Lady Anna is not so bad, and I have been greatly entertained in your company. Then, I realized my mistake, and… I am sorry, but I shall never forgive myself if I do not at least try to pursue Lady Caroline. She is unlike any lady I have ever seen.”
Embarrassment twisted in Anna’s stomach, a bitter blade she knew all too well. “I am the jester. She is the princess.” She clenched the inside of her cheek between her teeth, determined not to cry in front of Simon. “No, Lord Luminport,Iam sorry for not realizing that, as a spinster of six-and-twenty, I am no one’s first choice. Please, go and pursue Caro. I agree, there is no lady like her.”
“Do not be disheartened,” Simon said, finally raising his gaze to her. “I truly am sorry if you thought… If I led you to believe that I meant to court you.”
“If His Grace and Lady Caroline had been something of merit, would you?” Anna needed to know, to twist that blade of embarrassment deeper, so there would be a scar so painful she never made the same mistake again.
Simon hesitated, sweeping an anxious hand through his hair. “I… well… Yes, of course I would have considered it.” He placed his hand upon hers. “I believe that you and I could be very good friends.”
“Alas, I do not need any more friends,” she replied, not curtly or angrily, but with a flatness to accompany the swift draining away of her last hope. “Please, do not mind me. I shall be quite well by myself. Go and find Caro.”
Though ifheraffections are not returned, The Matchmaker will see to it that you do not succeed.She would not thwart him out of spite, for she could not argue with any of his points, but shewouldensure that Caroline was the happiest woman she could be. A young, beautiful lady with a beautiful love to match.
