On the threshold, she paused, turning back to look at him. “But I think you are a coward.”
“Pardon?” Anger spiked through his chest.
“My motherdiedgiving birth to me as you so kindly pointed out,” she replied curtly. “Yet, I am not afraid.Youare afraid—I can see it on your face, even if you will not tell me why. That being said, I suspect it is because of your father, because of the things you told me by the fountain. I suspect you are scared of a ghost, so terrified of that phantom that you will not even explain to me why you would render our marriage barren or give me the chance to help you see that it is nonsense. You refuse to give me the chance to change your mind because you fear that I might. That makes you a coward.”
She strode out without another word, leaving him staring at the spot where she had been, not knowing whether to be furious or ashamed.
He had just turned back to the decanter of brandy, wondering how much he would need to drink to rid himself of those six barbed words that were burrowing under his skin—“You are scared of a ghost”—when another knock came at the study door.
He whipped around. “Matilda?”
“Apologies, Your Grace.” Laurence dipped his head. “I wanted to know if there was anything you needed before you retire.”
Albion’s heart sank. “No, thank you. You can retire for the night.”
“Shall I venture into town tomorrow to fetch candied fruits?” the valet asked, a sympathetic look in his eyes.
Albion hesitated. “It couldn’t hurt.”
“Very good, Your Grace.”
“Mr. Algernon, in your experience, are there things that a woman can’t forgive?”
Laurence frowned in thought. “Rarely. Infidelity, perhaps, though many do come to forgive and forget—become blind to it, at least.”
“I would never do that to her,” Albion replied, appalled.
The valet looked equally appalled. “I was not suggesting you would, Your Grace.”
“What about the opposite of infidelity?” Albion asked cautiously, uncomfortable with showing such vulnerability in front of another man. Someone who was not Ben, anyway.
Laurence pulled on the cuffs of his sleeves, straightening them. “If the lady is reluctant, a gentleman must insist on his rights as a husband.”
“And if the husband is reluctant?” Embarrassment bubbled in the center of Albion’s chest like a vat of hot oil.
“If the gentleman is reluctant?” Laurence’s eyes widened. “I confess, I have never heard of such a thing. Even in households where the wife has, perhaps, not been the greatest beauty, I have never happened upon such a problem. It is a duty between husband and wife. It is always done.”
Albion closed his eyes, hearing his mother’s voice in place of the valet’s. “Thank you, Mr. Algernon. That will be all.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
Only when the valet’s footsteps had faded did Albion open his eyes again, sighing as he poured a considerable measure of brandy. If his men could see him now, they would not know him. They would realize that all this time, their captain had been a weak man hiding in a regimental uniform.
Hewasscared of a ghost, a demon of a man, and he did not have the first notion of how he was supposed to exorcise himself. But if he did not, he feared he might lose an angel instead.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
“You scared me!” Anna gasped, panting hard, her hand clasped to her chest. “I cherish you, dear Matilda, but you should not creep into people’s chambers without announcing yourself. My heart is about to explode.”
Matilda ignored her friend’s protests as she paced back and forth at the end of Anna’s bed, her anger and dismay like a whirlwind in the center of her being, dragging everything else into its vortex.
“Matilda?” Anna shuffled down to the end of the bed, scrunching up the coverlets. “What is the matter?”
Matilda could not answer. Not yet. She needed to put her thoughts in order first, and with them swirling this way and that, it was proving to be impossible.
Maybe it was true that she had never given motherhood much consideration, but that was because she had never given marriageanythought before Albion. In their society, it was not as if she could have had a child out of wedlock, for though she had had her harsh opinions of the institution of marriage itself, she would not have made any child endure the scorn of being raised as illegitimate.
Thingshadchanged with the love that blossomed in her heart for Albion. Things she had never considered had become something to consider, and the thought of having children with a man she loved, even if she had not mustered the courage to confess, was not an awful notion. Indeed, the moment he had told her it was impossible, it was like a madness had sparked inside her, making her want it with every fiber of her being.
