“I will not remain trapped in a room with a man so furious at me. Let me out. Now.” She nodded at the door behind him.
Yet for all his anger at her, it wouldn’t stay. The more he looked at her, the more it was dispelling, like a mist that could not be prevented from lifting. It had been so long since he had seen her, so long since they had been alone together, that just being beside her mattered more to him than the lie in that moment.
“Why did ye lie, Charlotte?” His voice softer this time. “Answer me that, and I shall let ye go. Though I’d like to point out…” He leaned an inch more toward her. “Ye could escape me easily at this moment if ye truly wished to.”
He nodded his head toward the gap between them. Though he had one arm raised over her head, flattened to the window catch, his other arm was at his side. She could quite easily dart away and run to the door, but she did not take that opportunity.
Apparently, for all her anger and indignation, she had no wish to part from him either.
“I…” She started, but the words faltered away. She breathed heavily, her chest rising and falling with the movement.
“Ye?” He prompted her.
“What does it matter why I lied?” she cried suddenly, lifting her chin up so her gaze at last met his. “I told you something, something that I wished for you to believe. Why can we not leave it at that?”
“I cannae.” He shook his head. “Why did ye lie?”
“Why are you back?” she asked, matching his strong tone. “You gave the impression that you would come back to London rarely in future, that your business would remain predominantly in Edinburgh. Why are you back so soon?”
“I asked me question first.”
“That is childish,” she pointed out with raised eyebrows.
“Well, ye can reprimand me for it as much as ye wish to, but I am nae givin’ up on gettin’ an answer to me question.” He bent forward, just a few inches. It was enough to hover his lips over hers.
He couldn’t help it. The pull toward Charlotte was one that was impossible to resist, even when they were in the midst of an argument and those blue eyes were stormier than ever.
Her breathing quickened even more now.
“Answer me question, Charlotte,” he begged, his voice firm. “Why did ye lie to me?”
“Why do you think?” Her voice was still harsh, but there was a breathiness to it now, that had not been there before. Her eyes flitted down to his lips, but they then snapped up to meet his gaze again. “In one breath you told me you would never marry, and you kissed me.” She reminded him, utter agony in her voice. “I lied to protect myself, to persuade myself that further heartbreak was not possible.”
“Heartbreak?” he whispered. His hand had flattened to the glass over her head now.
She nodded, her lips parting and closing for a second. Her eyes had started to glisten even more in the moonlight, but she refused to let those tears fall.
“What else did you expect from a woman who had fallen in love with you?” she asked with an aggression in her tone. “What did you expect?”
He blinked, for he could not answer her.
She loves me?
“I didn’t want to love you. Of course, I didn’t, but I did anyway.” She thrust her hands into his chest now. She forced him toback up from her, stepping away. She rounded him, hurrying to the door. “I lied because I was desperate,” she said wildly, clambering around the chairs to reach the door. “I lied to try and persuade my foolish emotions that I did not mind if you were leaving for Scotland, that I did not care if you could never consider marriage. That I didn’t care you could kiss me then reveal I meant absolutely nothing to you. I—I tried to persuade myself that none of it mattered.”
He ran after her again, reaching her just in time before she got to the door. Once more, he planted his hand on the door, shutting it tight and preventing her escape. This time, she did not turn and look at him. She kept her face toward the door, her back to him.
“I…” She paused, her shoulders rising and falling with each fast breath. “I didn’t want anything to do with my crumpled heart anymore.”
“Ah, lass.” Gerard’s heart was pounding so much now that he could hear it in his ears. “Ye cannae run from me now. Nae after makin’ a statement like that.”
“I can.” She tried the door, but he kept it firmly shut. She practically squealed in frustration, but he was so much stronger than her that the door merely rattled in its frame.
“Nae yet, lass. There’s somethin’ I must tell ye first.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Charlotte couldn’t bear the thought of turning to look at Gerard now. Her heart ached for the want of wishing to throw herself into his arms, but what then? He had simply come back to accuse her of lying, apparently. She couldn’t bear to look him in the eye and have hope of something that would never be.
