“I was always so focused on my family. That is all,” she whispered. “I was trying to raise my brother and sister to be a little more formal. I saw firsthand when I entered thetonhow unforgiving they can be. I didn’t wish for the same future for my family. I focused on them, quite forgot my own chances at a courtship, then time seemed to slip by.”
He waited for her to go on, the pause lengthening between them. When she said nothing, but finally ate the pieces of the biscuit, he added another to her plate for her. She smiled at him with thanks, rather sadly, though it faded fast.
“All I wish for now is a quiet and polite gentleman. We can live in peace together. I wish to live with ease and be happy. There is nothing wrong in that, is there?”
He sighed at her words, glimpsing for the first time the inner struggle within her.
Ye shouldnae be a spinster forever. Nae when ye wish for this future.
“I understand yer reasons, but nae yer wants.” He shook his head.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that a quiet and polite gentleman I expect will bore ye.”
“Bore me?” she spluttered. “Poised and polite does not mean boring.”
“Oh, I ken, for ye are far from borin’, and yet ye are both poised and polite.” He gestured to her, noting she sat a little straighter once again. “All I am sayin’ is that with two such perfectly poised people in a house, ye will simply preoccupy yerself with sayin’ please and thank ye, ever so excessively formal, and forget to have real conversations.”
She sat forward, frowning a little.
“I think you are wrong.”
“Ye can think what ye like,” he chuckled, “after all, I am the one takin’ lessons from ye, it isnae the other way around.”
“Exactly!”
“Yet I ken something of the world, Charlotte.” He didn’t use her title, and he noticed with some relief that she didn’t correct him or even look put out on this occasion. “I think ye will needsomeone who reminds ye to think with yer heart sometimes, and nae always yer heard.”
She looked down at the biscuit on her plate, clearly uncertain what to say.
He waited, desperate to hear her say anything. Eventually, she raised her head and looked him in the eye.
“Maybe you are right, or maybe I am. Either way, I hope not to be a spinster forever. I wish to marry.”
Why must ye!?
Anger swelled in his stomach, though Gerard had no good explanation for it. He had no concept as to why it frustrated him to know Charlotte would marry, but it did. Incredibly so.
“Well, if it is marriage that you wish to avoid, I do have some tips on how you can stay reserved from thetonand avoid the eager mothers who wish to marry their daughters off to you, whilst simultaneously avoiding offending them.”
“Aye, that is what I want. Teach me and I will hang on yer every word.”
She smiled and launched into her next lesson.
Gerard was as good as his word, listening to everything she said, but he was still irked. That feeling was present even after she left, and he sat there alone staring at the plate of biscuit crumbs. Mrs. Philips came to the table to tidy things away for him.
“I’d say that was a great success indeed, Gerard. Would you not agree?”
“Aye,” he said, though without enthusiasm. “She said she would marry.”
“Yes, I heard her.” Mrs. Philips smiled a little as she gathered the cups together. “I also noticed this news seemed to upset you.”
“What? Nay. Nay, it doesnae.” He denied it, though Mrs. Philips offered him a knowing smile as she left the room.
He sat in silence, scratching his jaw in discomfort. He argued with himself for many minutes before he stood, a determined thought in his mind.
I daenae care if she marries. It is simply that I like having her around. Aye, that must be it.
