“That’s good,” Nicholas said, though he couldn’t shake the feeling that Phineas was withholding something that might be important.
“Enough about me,” Phineas said, perhaps sensing that Nicholas was considering not allowing the subject to drop. “Tell me more about yourself, Nicholas.”
“About me? There’s nothing to tell.”
“Oh surely that isn’t true. What about Lady Hannah?”
“Don’t speak to me of her.”
Something strange showed in Phineas’ eyes. “You know that she wants to marry you.”
“And I don’t wish to marry her, so it will never happen.”
“I wonder if you have truly thought that decision through? I know you’re hesitant to marry. But is that hesitation about Lady Hannah? Or are you simply not ready to address the question of marriage generally?”
“Perhaps it’s both,” Nicholas admitted. “But I confess I would find the whole business much easier to think about with someone else other than her. There’s simply nothing about her that appeals to me.”
Was Phineas angry? Nicholas couldn’t quite identify the expression on his friend’s face, but he didn’t think Phineas liked what he’d just said. Perhaps there was some jealousy there. Maybe Phineas was ready to marry, and he didn’t like that Nicholas was being dismissive of a lady who was interested in him.
Nicholas didn’t want to offend his friend, but at the same time, he couldn’t pretend to have any interest in or desire for Lady Hannah when those feelings simply weren’t there. “Perhaps someone else might suit me,” he said.
“I know you’re not still thinking about that young lady in the mask that you met at your masquerade.”
In fact, Nicholas had been thinking about her. That was always where his mind went these days when he felt daydreamy. “I know I’m unlikely to ever find her again,” he said. “But it’s hard to stop thinking about her, Phineas. If you’d been there that night, perhaps you would understand—but I suppose it wouldn’t have been as magical as it was if you had been there. I’ve never felt such a powerful connection with anyone before.”
“So you’ve said, but Nicholas, don’t you see the sort of trouble you might make for yourself, behaving as you did?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Nicholas protested.
“Of course you do. Lingering alone with a young lady like that—why, if anyone ever found out that had been you, it would be all over the scandal sheets. The duke consorting in private with an unknown young lady!”
“We weren’t…consorting,” Nicholas said. “We had a conversation, that was all.”
“Don’t pretend to be more innocent than you are. You know as well as I the kind of stir such a thing would cause if you were to be found out. It’s for the best that neither of you is aware of the other’s identity, Nicholas. What do you suppose would happen if she knew who you were?”
“She would never want to make trouble for me.”
“Perhaps you’re right. I can’t say. But she might wish to see you again, and in an effort to make that wish come true, she would likely speak to her family about it. And you can’t possibly predict what their reaction might be. That’s how you might have gotten yourself into trouble—offending the young lady’s father when you have no way of knowing how he would respond to the things you did. He might be deeply troubled that you spend time alone with his daughter. He might even wish you to marry her in order to protect her reputation.”
Nicholas said nothing.
Phineas stared at him. “I know you’re not about to tell me you would be willing to marry her—a lady you hardly even know!”
“Of course not,” Nicholas said. “But—perhaps I wouldn’t be opposed to a courtship.”
“I feel as if I hardly know you,” Phineas said. “I always thought you would be the last in the world to take an interest in courtship or marriage. Isn’t that why you’re so uninterested in Lady Hannah? That was what I thought.”
“Even if I meant to marry today, Lady Hannah would never be my choice,” Nicholas said. “She holds no appeal for me, Phineas. I feel as if you have never understood that. Perhaps it’s because you haven’t spent as much time around her as I have.”
“I’ve spent plenty of time in her company,” Phineas protested. He sounded defensive to Nicholas, and Nicholas wondered if he had hurt his friend somehow. The subject of Lady Hannah seemed to be a particularly sensitive one, and he didn’t understand quite why. But he didn’t want to be hurtful to Phineas, so he tried again to change the subject.
“Lady Hannah may be lovely,” he said, “but what I look for in a lady is more than just her appearance. I’m afraid that Lady Hannah’s personality and mine will never be compatible. We are simply not the same kind of people, and nothing will change that. I wish I could say otherwise! I wish this young lady who obviously has such an interest in me were the kind of person I could return affection for. But she isn’t, and she never will be. It’s as simple as that. Now, the young lady from the masquerade—she was different. She was someone I could see myself spending quite a lot of time with, and that means the world to me. Every word out of her mouth was engaging, Phineas. Everything she said made me want to know her better. I hate the fact that I’ll never see her again or find out who she was. If there was any way to solve that mystery, I would want to do it at once.”
“You’re too accustomed to everything going your way,” Phineas said sharply.
Nicholas raised his eyebrows at his friend’s harsh tone. “You believe everything goes my way?”
“I know it does. You don’t know hardship when it comes to social situations, Nicholas. You’re a duke, and that means everyone wants your favor.”
