“What do you mean?” Charlotte did not seem to understand the question. Her eyes widened as she waited for clarification.
“Well, you are… happy,” Phyllis gestured confusedly around her. “How can you be happy after everything that has happened to you? After what Jacob has done to you?”
Charlotte seemed even more perplexed at this moment, then her eyes widened, and she burst into an amused chuckle. It was Phyllis’ turn to become utterly confused. However, instead of asking any more reckless questions, she decided to wait for Charlotte to explain in her own time and un her own words.
“Do you think that what has happened to me is the most frightening thing in the world?” Charlotte asked once she stopped chuckling. Her question was serious, but her lips were somewhere between a smile and a grave expression.
“Your husband basically tricked you into marrying him,” Phyllis spoke incredulously. “Then, he made you have his child. This all happened after you realized what sort of a man he truly was, and yet, you are still bound to him by law. You can’t even live here, where your family is, but instead you have to hide away in Scotland, in the middle of nowhere, with your son, who is growing up in the wilderness.”
Charlotte listened but she didn’t say anything to that. Phyllis, on the other hand, felt that she did not finish her monologue, so she continued. “The experience has left you traumatized, Charlotte. You can’t even bear being around people anymore. That is why you have to live in the Highlands, away from civilization. You are afraid of men you see in the streets and you flinch every time someone tries to touch you innocently, even if it is just a greeting. I wouldn’t consider any of that normal, and yet here you are, smiling. How… how on earth is that possible, Charlotte?”
For a moment, Phyllis feared that she might have crossed the line, that Charlotte might take offense at some of the things she had said. Although, all of it was true.
“My dear Phyllis,” Charlotte smiled once again, “you have summed up my life perfectly in that little monologue of yours. And of course, you and I both know that every bit of it is honest to God’s truth. I never tried to hide any of it, especially not from you, my sisters. You know the thorny path of my life and you know what I had to do to get where I am. Jacob has been away at war for several years now, and it is only his absence that has allowed me to finally rip free from his venomous clutches. I found the chance to free myself as well as my child. We are no longer under his control. And the place you refer to as wilderness where my son is growing up by my side is the most wonderful place in the world, away from the poisonous tongues of the ton. We are surrounded by kindness of people who do not care about what has happened to you, but rather what sort of a person you are. That makes a world of a difference.”
Phyllis still couldn’t grasp the full magnitude of what her sister was saying as she remained silent, so Charlotte continued. “I am no longer the woman I was, Phyllis. I have changed. My experiences have made me more resilient, more brave, simply because I have something to fight for, something other than myself. Something that is much more important than myself, and that is my son. I am willing to do anything to keep the peace I have found with my son. Once Jacob returns, which I do believe will happen soon, perhaps even sooner than we all think, I am planning to stay where I am, as far away from him, and ask for a divorce.”
Finally, Phyllis was starting to realize her sister’s perspective. “You found a reason to live.”
“Yes,” Charlotte beamed. “I have my son. I love him more than life itself. I love him more than I could ever love anyone else. He is the one that keeps me strong even in the darkest of days. His smile kept me going when I thought that the whole world was crumbling down around me. I would look in those big blue eyes, and I would know that somehow, some way, everything would be all right. I just needed to keep going, for us both.”
In that tender moment, Phyllis felt a surge of admiration for Charlotte’s newfound strength. The embrace they shared was more than a physical connection; it was a bridge between their shared struggles and unspoken understanding. Charlotte’s resilience, fueled by the love for her son, cast a glimmer of hope in Phyllis’ heart.
Phyllis couldn’t help but be inspired by her sister’s courage. Charlotte’s journey was a testament to the transformative power of love and motherhood. Despite the challenges she faced, Charlotte had found a source of joy that surpassed the hardships. In the warmth of sisterly love, Phyllis began to see a glimpse of possibility for her own future. Perhaps, like Charlotte, she could find her own strength and happiness, whether through unexpected paths or unforeseen connections.
“A mother’s love is endless,” Charlotte assured her, then her expression turned somber. “That is why I never understood how Mother could abandon us like that, without even checking up on us. Did she even think of us? Did she remember our faces? Did she remember the sound of our laughter? You know, I often wonder if she ever tried to contact us, but perhaps Father would not allow her.”
“I don’t know,” Phyllis had to admit that she never considered that possibility. It was too painful to think about that, although Father was sometimes mean enough to have been capable of such a thing. But now, it was best to leave bygones be bygones. “I believe that thinking about it doesn’t change anything. Mother was… a woman with her own hardships. I try to understand her, but no matter how hard I try, I don’t think I can.”
“I know what you mean,” Charlotte agreed with a gentle nod. “Now that I am a mother myself, I cannot imagine leaving my son and spending the rest of my life without him. I am certain that when you have your first child with your husband, you will have this exact same feeling. You won’t be able to imagine your life without this little bundle of joy by your side at all times.”
Phyllis’ expression suddenly turned sad. She had to admit that, in the privacy of her own room, in the middle of the night when sleep would not grace her with its presence, she secretly thought about what it would be like to have Alexander’s child, what it would be like to finally become a real family. Secretly, the thought brought her more joy than she was willing to admit, even to herself.
“I’m not sure that such a thing will ever happen,” she sighed.
“Why not?” Charlotte’s voice took on a motherly note, gently lulling Phyllis into a feeling of safety. “You have just gotten married. Sometimes, these things take time.”
“It’s not that,” Phyllis interrupted her. “It’s something else…”
“What else could it be?” Charlotte wondered, as the two sisters were baring their souls to each other on this evening.
Phyllis hesitated, but her sister’s reassuring gaze helped ease her into this confession. After all, this evening was the right time for everything they never had the chance to say before.
“I am in love with my husband, but I’m afraid that he does not share that sentiment,” she finally admitted. It was difficult to say it out loud. So far, this realization had only been confined inside her heart, but saying it to someone else made it true, it made it tangible and even more painful.
“Oh…” Charlotte immediate neared her sister and took her hand into her own. “Tell me everything, Phyllis. We have all night. I will be here as long as you need me.”
With a sigh, Phyllis unfolded the intricacies of her marriage to Alexander, the facade they maintained, and the growing chasm that seemed insurmountable. She told her all the shared moments, the laughter, the way his mother did not think her an adequate bride for her son. Now that she was retelling the entire story all over again, it seemed to Phyllis that there were a million tings forming a million obstacles on her path to happiness with Alexander. And she knew they were insurmountable.
As she spoke, Charlotte listened attentively, offering supportive nods and comforting words.
“Oh, Phyllis,” Charlotte said, her voice soft with understanding, “marriage can be a complex dance. But you mustn’t forget your own worth, your dreams, and desires. A union should be a partnership, not a cage. If this marriage is not what makes you happy, it is best to leave, although I know how much this hurts. Trust me, I know better than anyone else. Because at one point, even when things were at their worst, I still hoped that Jacob loved me, that we could make it work. But I was delusional. I had to see things for what they truly were, and it seems to me that you have reached that stage.”
Phyllis felt a weight lifting from her shoulders as the words poured out, the room becoming a sanctuary for sisterly confessions. The shared laughter and occasional tears forged a deeper connection between them, and Charlotte’s unwavering support became a balm for Phyllis’ wounded soul.
“I’m afraid, Charlotte,” Phyllis confessed, her lower lip trembling. “I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t know what to do. What will Father say? What will the ton say?”
Charlotte frowned. “That is not the Phyllis I know. My sister would not think twice about what other people thought. She would make her own decisions and not ask for any permissions.”
