They had just begun to clumsily ascend, for trying to encourage a mildly inebriated young woman to use her feet as intended was no easy feat, when Phoebe spotted someone on a chaise-longue below. The Baron of Harburgh, fast asleep where anyone could see him.
Thank goodness for that.
Phoebe breathed a sigh of relief.
Thank goodness I was wrong.
“I have not been sent to my room in years,” Ellen said, stifling a chuckle. “You are not angry with me anymore, are you? I truly did not mean to worry anyone.”
Phoebe smiled. “No, I am not angry with you. Your head and your stomach will give you punishment enough tomorrow.” She bent to kiss the top of Ellen’s hair. “I am just glad that you are safe.”
“Phoebe, what will you really do when Joanna and I are married?” Ellen leaned against her sister as they made it to the landing and began a slow walk down the hallway to her guest bedchamber.
Phoebe frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You do not truly intend to be a spinster, do you?”
Phoebe flinched, her heart stinging. “If that is what fate decides, then yes, that is what I shall be. And I fear I am almost too old for fate to decide any other destiny for me.”
“But that is desperately unfair,” Ellen complained. “You are more beautiful than all the ladies down there in the ballroom combined. You are kinder, sweeter, more intelligent, and fiercer than they could ever dream of being.Youdeserve love, and I… worry that Joanna and I have held you back.”
Phoebe shook her head, reaching for the handle of Ellen’s bedchamber door. “Never, my darling girl. No one can predict what will happen to me when you and Joanna are happily married, living your own lives, but I promise you, I shall never, ever regret raising the two of you. True, you can be menaces when you want to be, but if the love I have for my sisters and friends is all I am ever gifted, then so be it. I am content.”
It sounded true but echoed hollow. After all, Danielhadconfessed to her that night, in his own way—she was certain of it. And she had no notion of what to do with that information, for it had turned the entire situation on its head. If he had not done that, she could have stood by and applauded a union between Daniel and Joanna, praying for their happiness. But how could she allow Joanna to marry someone who had said so plainly that he could never love her? That it was impossible?
I had not thought it was so important before.
But Joanna deserved more than a marriage of convenience.
“You have always acted like the mother of our family,” Ellen said sleepily, allowing herself to be led to the bed, “but you really are not. I do not mean that unkindly. I mean… you had your youth and opportunities taken from you because you had to behave older and wiser than, perhaps, you were. You have had to jump ahead, and itisdesperately unfair.”
Phoebe decided it was best to let Ellen stay in her ball attire, rather than try to wrestle her into her nightclothes. “Hush, sweet girl. Do not think about me. Just rest and sleep and feel better.”
“No, because it must be said,” Ellen insisted, tugging the coverlets up to her chin. “You deserve to be happy and to find love, just like Joanna and me. You deserve to search for it, as we have been allowed to.”
Phoebe bent to kiss her sister’s brow. “Sleep now. No more talking. There is water here if you are thirsty in the night.”
“At the very least, you should speak to Joanna,” Ellen said.
Phoebe froze. “What do you mean?”
“You should be honest with her and let her decide how to proceed,” Ellen replied drowsily. “She ought to know what is at stake before she marries that Daniel fellow. I would certainly want to hear of it if my future husband declared he could never love me because he was in love with someone else.”
Phoebe’s heart thudded viciously in her chest, blood rushing in her ears. “What are you talking about? Why would you say that?”
“Joanna acts like she does not care, but she loves you more than anything. If she learns that you are in love with Daniel and that he is in love with you, I know she would not be angry. If anything, she would be glad to see you happy, for it might mean you giving us some more freedom.” Ellen chuckled, her mouth stretching in a yawn. “But what do I know?”
Phoebe stumbled backward, staring at her sleepy sister as if a changeling had taken her place. “Where is this coming from?”
“I see things, I hear things, I deduce things,” Ellen murmured, wriggling under the coverlets into a more comfortable position. “For one thing, he bought you tulips and boughtherdaffodils. That is all the evidence any woman needs.”
“You are mistaken,” Phoebe urged, for the twins shared everything.
Despite what Ellen claimed, if she told Joanna of her suspicions, Phoebe feared that Joanna would never speak to her again.
Ellen cracked one eye open. “So, you are not hopelessly in love with Lord Westyork, and he is not hopelessly in love with you? He is not so desperately besotted that he would follow you through a hedge maze to keep you safe? He is not so enamored that he would tell you that, if you had fallen from the pagoda and hurt yourself, it would have destroyed him?”
“You… said you were not near to the hedge maze.”
