“Yes, and…” Lydia frowned, trying to remember. “That’s part of what’s confusing to me. I thought she had intended for us to go together. What I remember is that she invited me to accompany her to the country house. Of course, I must have it wrong. If that was what she wanted, she wouldn’t have left without me. And when she discovered I was ill, she certainly wouldn’t have gone. But I must have misunderstood her. She must have said that she was going to go without me, and she must have left when I came up to my room without ever realizing that I was unwell.”
Edward frowned. “Do you think so? That doesn’t sound like something you could very easily misunderstand.”
“Well, I didthinkI knew what she wanted. I was so excited about the prospect of getting out of the house. And, you know, I thought she said something about that too. I asked her if you would be upset about it, and she said she would take responsibility if you were. So, how could I have misunderstood what she meant? And yet, Imusthave misunderstood because she did leave without me, so she must have always meant to.”
“So, you were getting ready to go when you became ill?”
“I had come upstairs to get my things ready for the journey,” Lydia said. “Now I remember. She was going to tell the members of the household staff that we were leaving. Or, I suppose, thatshewas leaving if I’m mistaken in my memory. I just don’t know.”
“What were the two of you doing when she mentioned going to the country house in the first place?” Edward asked.
There was a dark shadow across his face that Lydia didn’t quite understand. It made her feel nervous.
“We were having tea,” she replied. “She asked me to tea out in the garden.”
“She gave you tea?”
“Now that you mention it, she did pour the tea. I suppose it seemed strange because ordinarily, a servant might have done it, but she seemed so eager to care for me that I took it as a gesture of kindness. And she so eagerly encouraged me to drink it.”
“Did she?”
“She didn’t even seem to want me to wait for it to cool,” Lydia remembered. “I scalded my mouth a bit. It felt to me as if she wanted to care for me—she had seen how sad I was, and she wanted to make me feel better.”
“Maybe,” Edward murmured. “Maybe that’s what she wanted.”
“Well, what else?”
“Did she drink any tea herself?”
“I don’t recall,” Lydia admitted. “We weren’t in the garden for long because the idea about the country house came to her so quickly, so it’s possible she never had the chance. But, Edward, I don’t think I understand why you’re asking these questions. What difference does it make how much tea we had?”
The expression on his face was frightening. It made her shiver to look at him. But when he spoke, his voice was shockingly even. “So, you drank tea,” he clarified, “but perhaps she didn’t drink any tea. Is that right?”
“That might be right. I really don’t remember—Edward, is this important? You sound as if it’s very dire, but I don’t understand…”
He forced a smile onto his face, but she could tell it wasn’t genuine. It didn’t reach his eyes.
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m trying to understand what the day looked like for you. That’s all it is. I think I’ve got the picture now.”
A thought entered her mind—a possibility as to why he might be as upset as he clearly was.
“Is this about the fact that I was spending time with Margaret?” she asked anxiously. “Are you angry with me?”
His features softened. “Lydia, of course I’m not angry with you. How could I be angry with you? You did nothing wrong.”
“I don’t know,” she said helplessly. “I know you never asked me not to associate with Margaret, but you also confided in me how you felt about her. I thought perhaps it might upset you that I was spending time in her company. You know, I’ve tried to put some distance between the two of us ever since you told me how you felt about her growing up. I wanted you to know that my loyalty was to you, not to her. But I do feel bad for her, Edward. I can’t quite help it. It must have been so difficult, being married to someone who would never love her—”
“It’s not as if she loved him either,” Edward replied, raising his eyebrows.
“What do you mean?”
“Is that what she told you? That she was heartbroken because my father didn’t love her?” Edward shook his head. “She didn’t love him either. She married him for his money, and she never made any particular secret about it. She only wanted to marry into our family because she hoped my father would helpherfather’s business out of debt. I don’t think Father knew that on their wedding day, but she’s certainly said it plenty of times since then.”
Lydia wasn’t sure what to think. That did make sense. Margaret had even admitted that she’d wanted more for her father’s business. And if that had been the reason for their marriage, it made it a lot more difficult to sympathize with her over the fact that she’d never had love.
“Listen to me,” Edward said, “making you think about things like that right now when you should be focusing on getting well… you’re barely keeping your eyes open. You’re so weak. I want you to go to sleep at once, Lydia, and when the physician arrives, you’re to let him examine you and do everything he tells you to do. Is that clear?”
“Clear,” Lydia murmured. She was grateful to him, if she was honest, for sending her to sleep. She already felt herself drifting off. “Will you be here when I wake up?”
