“It’s all right, Violet,” Edward assured, even though nothing felt remotely all right at the moment. “This isn’t your fault. Have you had any sleep?”
“I didn’t want to leave her side, Your Grace.”
“Well, I thank you for that. I’m very glad she had you with her while I was away. But now, I think you ought to go and get some rest since I’m home. I’ll stay with her.”
Violet nodded. “Yes, Your Grace,” she said. “But, please, don’t hesitate to summon me if you need anything, or if she asks for me. I’ll be back at a moment’s notice if she wants me.”
“I don’t doubt that you will,” Edward said. “For now, get some sleep.”
Violet nodded and left the room, leaving Edward alone with his wife.
He sank into a chair beside the bed—someone must have pulled it close so they would be able to sit by Lydia’s side while she lay unconscious—and regarded her pale face. He had never seen her look like this. It hadn’t occurred to him before how bright and full of life she always was, but now that he saw her like this, he wondered how he could ever have failed to notice it. She was a shadow of her former self.
All the way home, he had imagined telling her about his feelings for her. Now he wondered—would he ever get the chance to say the words that had been turning around and around in his mind?
Was he too late?
The idea broke his heart. It couldn’t be too late. This couldn’t be the way things ended. Oh, why hadn’t the physician been called sooner? Why did she have to be so stubborn? Why on earth wasn’t Margaret here? He had depended on her to look after Lydia while he was away! He had trusted her!
“Lydia,” he said, hoping that, somehow, his wife might be able to hear him, and that she might be inspired to open her eyes. “I’m so sorry I left you. None of this would have happened if only I had been here for you. But I’m home now, and I promise I’ll never leave you on your own like that again.”
It occurred to him that she might not believe him, even if she could hear his words. She had no reason to believe what he was saying. She’d made it clear before he had left for Bath that she had considered his offer to take her along on that journey to be a promise. And he had failed to keep that promise. Of course, she wouldn’t believe him if she could hear him now—he had already shown her that he wasn’t good for his word.
But then, her eyelids fluttered open.
“Edward?” Lydia whispered. “You’re home?”
“Lydia. Oh—oh my goodness. I’m home.” He moved closer to her and took her hand between both of his. “What happened?”
“I’m all right.”
“Don’t be so foolish! You should have let them send for the physician straightaway! Why did you have to be so proud?”
“I just can’t believe you’re home.”
“I never should have left,” he said. “I was such a fool. Can you ever forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she assured.
“Of course, there is. How hard did you try to show me how things ought to be between us? And I never listened to you. I should have listened from the start. I see now that I do have feelings for you. I love you, Lydia. I’ve loved you for the longest time, and I just have to hope that you haven’t given up on me. It took me far too long to realize how I felt about you. I’m so sorry I made you wait so long. But I’m here now, and I’ll never let you go.”
Her eyes closed, and for a moment, he thought she’d fallen asleep again. But then, a smile spread across her face.
“Will you take me dancing?” she asked.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE
Edward was here.
The haze of fear that had gripped Lydia since the beginning of her illness seemed to fade away to nothing at all. Suddenly, it seemed as though everything was going to be all right.
He bent over her and kissed her forehead gently, and she allowed her eyes to flutter closed.
He loves me.
Could it possibly be true? After everything they had been through, it was very difficult to believe. It would have been easier to hold onto the idea that there was nothing between them and never would be. It frightened her to try to accept what he was saying, to believe that he really did love her. She almost didn’t even want to believe it. She was setting herself up to get her heart broken all over again.
But when she opened her eyes and looked into his, there could be no mistaking what she saw there. The expression on his face was more open and vulnerable than any she had ever seen before, and she couldn’t question it. What he was saying was true. It had to be—there was no other possibility. He did love her.
