She couldn’t be sure. Did she dare?
And then—breathtakingly, unbelievably—Edward reached out and tookherhand.
Lydia’s heart beat double-time. Could this really be happening? She looked into his eyes.
His gaze was softer than she’d ever seen it. He usually had such walls up. He acted as if he didn’t want anyone to see to the core of him. But now, looking into his eyes, she almost felt as if she could see right into his heart. She was seeing more of him than she ever had before.
I love him.
The moment she thought the words, she could feel that they were true—and they terrified her. She couldn’t allow herself to be in love with this man. As much as he had come to mean to her—and he did mean a great deal to her, she wasn’t ashamed to admit that—love was far too dangerous to allow. He would never love her back.
But he did say things were different now. And to judge by the way he’s looking at me, could anyone really look at me that way if there wasn’t love behind it?
As one, the two of them rose to their feet. Lydia had never felt more connected to anyone in all her life—she was sure their thoughts were in tandem. They didn’t break eye contact with each other as they stepped into one another’s arms.
She knew, beyond doubt, what was about to happen. It was as if she could see ten seconds into the future somehow. She could see him pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her, lowering his lips to hers. And when it all happened exactly that way, when he finally kissed her, it wasn’t a surprise at all. It felt as if it was happening just as fate had intended.
And she kissed him back, letting her arms wrap around his neck, letting herself forget about the way her parents had spoken to her, abandoning all her worries and losing herself in this moment of passion. It felt as if birds had come to life and were singing inside of her. It was real—it was actually happening. They were falling in love. He’d sworn it was impossible, that it would never happen, and she had guarded her heart against it, but in spite of all of that, her dreams had come true.
They pulled apart.
She searched his eyes. “I love you,” she breathed. “I love you, Edward, truly.”
And she was sure he would repeat the words back to her and kiss her again.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he stepped back, letting his hands fall to his sides.
“We shouldn’t have done that,” he murmured. “That was a mistake.”
Her heart dropped. “Does it have to be a mistake?”
“It was one,” he said. “It wasn’t a good idea for us to give in like that. Nothing has changed, Lydia.”
“But you said that things had changed,” she protested. “You said it yourself, just now. You told me things between us weren’t what you imagined they would be, that I had come to mean more to you than you’d anticipated—”
“And that’s true,” he said. “You wanted a friendship, Lydia. That’s what you’ve been telling me. And I think that’s what we’ve built. I care for you very deeply, but as myfriend. I want the best for you as my friend, and asyourfriend, I’ll do all I can to provide for you. That doesn’t mean that my feelings have changed about anything else.”
“You kissed me.” she pointed out, feeling pathetic and humiliated.
“You’re a beautiful young lady. Of course, I was tempted. But I shouldn’t have given in.”
“But, Edward,” she said, “if you have those feelings for me, if you see me that way, wedon’thave to be only friends. Don’t you see that? I do love you. I meant it. And I think you love me too, but you’re afraid to admit it. You shouldn’t be. The two of us share something special. The way you defended me today—Edward, I know you love me. If you’ll only let your guard down and allow yourself to feel it, you’ll see it too.”
She held her breath, waiting for his response, hoping against hope that he would tell her what she so desperately wanted to hear.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Edward could hardly bear to see the hope in Lydia’s eyes. It was crushing.
She really meant it. She really did love him, and she genuinely hoped that something real could be forged between the two of them. It was so obvious to him that her feelings were completely genuine. She was baring her soul.
And he was going to have to break her heart.
How could he do it? How could he look her in the eye and tell her that he didn’t love her when—when it wasn’t the truth?
He had to admit that to himself now. Hedidlove her. That kiss, it hadn’t been for nothing. He really did care about her. He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her again. He wanted to take her up to his bedroom and spend the night with her. The idea entranced him.
