“And what about dancing?”
“You like dancing as well? Perhapsyouare the one who ought to take care, Edward, or I might have to revise my opinion of you completely.”
He held out a hand to her. “Dance with me,” he suggested, hardly able to believe what he was doing—after all, he had sworn he wouldn’t do this. “And then you can decide whether to revise your opinion or not.”
He wondered for a moment whether she would accept—she did seem to hesitate—but then, she nodded and took his hand. “Are you sure it’s something you want to do in front of all these people?” she asked. “You know they’re bound to talk.”
“And say what? That I danced with my wife?” He laughed and shook his head. “Truly, the scandal of the Season.”
“Maybe not that, but they’re bound to have something to say about the fact that you dancedat all,” she pointed out. “Already, Lord Kennilworth has reacted with surprise to the fact that you’re even here—and that’s not to mention Margaret’s reaction.”
“Oh, don’t talk to me about Margaret,” he said.
“You and she don’t get along, do you?”
“You noticed that?” he asked dryly.
“What’s the problem between you?”
“It’s nothing I want you to worry about. Let’s just dance, all right?”
Lydia turned out to be an impressive dancer. He hadn’t noticed it on their wedding night, perhaps because he had been so frustrated at the fact that they’d had to dance at all, but here, it was hard to miss.
Edward led her through the steps, but she was able to keep up with him easily, and by the time the first number ended and the second one began, both of them were smiling broadly, and Edward had begun to wonder why it was that he had sworn not to do this. If he had known from the start that dancing could be this enjoyable, perhaps he wouldn’t have gone so far out of his way to avoid it all these years.
Then again, I’m sure it wouldn’t be anywhere near as enjoyable without the right partner. I’m sure if I was dancing with someone else, I wouldn’t be having the good time I am having now.
And that was a frightening idea because the last thing he wanted was to get himself romantically attached to Lydia.
Friendship was all right. He was willing to meet her there. The two of them could be friends with each other. But they couldn’t be anything more—not ever. That was the way of weakness. He had seen all too well what marriage had done to his brother. Of course, Colin had never been the most focused of men, so it wasn’t exactly shocking to see him distracted the way he had been since getting married. In fact, if anything, Colin seemed happy with the way things were going for him, and Edward supported that for his brother.
But it wasn’t what he wanted for himself. He couldn’t live the life Colin was living. He couldn’t start putting marriage and romance ahead of everything else. The only reason he’d married at all was to enhance his business prospects, and he could never allow himself to forget that.
And then, there was the matter of his vow.
How could he have forgotten the promise he’d made to himself? He hadn’t thought of it at all in the days leading up to this ball, and that was incredibly strange. How long had it been since he had gone such a long time without giving thought to that promise? Now, in the face of a new marriage, he had forgotten about it entirely. He could hardly believe what he had done.
“Is something wrong?” Lydia asked.
She looked confused, as well as she should. After all, he was the one who had suggested bringing her here. He was the one who had asked her to dance. And he knew, now that they were here, that he was the one who was acting strangely toward her as if she had done something to provoke his ire.
She hadn’t. She’d done nothing wrong. But he couldn’t stay here and act as though everything was fine.
“Will you excuse me?” he said. “I think a bit of night air might clear my head.”
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “I thought the two of us were having a good time, and now… something’s changed, but I can’t understand what it is. Won’t you tell me what I did?”
“You did nothing wrong.” He had to get away. He had to escape this conversation. “I’ll be back shortly. Why don’t you go get a drink in the meantime?”
He pulled away from her and hurried toward the garden door, which stood open to admit the breeze. A moment later, he was outside.
If Margaret had seen him leave, he would have to answer for his choice later. But he would deal with that if it came. For now, he was just relieved that he had managed to get away from that dance—that conversation. It had all been far too intimate.
He had known that marriage would involve taking his new wife places and showing her off to people. He hadn’t been prepared for what it would feel like to let his guard down, to relax and have a good time with her.
He was going to have to be very careful. He couldn’t afford to let that sort of thing happen again, or he’d find himself attached to her.
If there was one thing Edward knew he couldn’t do, it was to let himself fall in love.
