“That night when His Grace came close to discovering the two of you… I… kissed him to distract him.”
This was the first time that Deborah had admitted her feelings out loud. Immediately, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders.
“You and my brother kissed?”
“Hush,” Deborah hissed, looking around nervously even though they were speaking in a closed room. “Do not say it out loud. Someone might hear, and I might get into trouble. Do you hate me for it?”
“Deborah, why would I hate you for something that you did to protect me?” Emma asked. “In fact, now that I remember it correctly, this must be the night of the ball when Peter asked me to marry him.”
Deborah nodded. “It was. That was the first time that His Grace and I kissed.”
“The first time?” Emma raised an eyebrow. “You mean to tell me that there has been more than one time that this has happened?”
The cat was out of the bag, and there was no use keeping details from Emma anymore.
Deborah nodded. “Twice. It only happened twice.”
“Oh my.” Emma’s lips curled into a smile. “Oh my, I can’t believe my brother had been keeping this from me this entire time.”
“Oh, I imagine he detests me for it. Considering how proper he is and how I am the exact opposite.” Deborah sighed in resignation.
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. But the more important question is, now that you are aware that you have these feelings, what do you plan on doing about them?” Emma questioned, looking at her friend expectantly for an answer.
“Nothing, of course,” Deborah replied. “It took enough courage to tell you about them. I cannot imagine going to the Duke and confessing in front of him.”
“Why not? I think you should,” Emma suggested, and Deborah looked at her as if she had lost her mind. “It is not the worst idea. I have never seen you express any interest in a man in the time that I’ve known you. If this is truly a rare event in your life, then I say that it deserves recognition.”
“Oh, there will be no recognition.” Deborah chuckled hollowly. “However, I do feel lighter now that I have told you.”
“Deborah, you cannot simply suppress your feelings like this. It is not fair to you.”
“I know you are only looking out for me,” Deborah said, “but His Grace is already spoken for. Even if I was somehow daring enough to confess to him, it would all be in vain.”
“You do not know that” Emma argued. “Lady Joanna is, indeed, a lovely woman, but Henry must have seen something in you if he kissed you twice.”
“One of the two incidents was probably against his will,” Deborah reminded her.
“And the other one?”
“Well…” Deborah bit her lip. “I cannot say.”
“Precisely.” Emma smiled. “I know my brother quite well. He would never risk harming a lady’s reputation without having a reason, so there must be something there from his side as well.”
Deborah wondered if there was any truth to her words and felt a small ray of hope.
Could he feel something for me as well?
But before her thought could blossom into something sweeter, Joanna’s face appeared in front of her eyes.
“You must do something about it!” Emma continued, encouragingly.
“I am not so sure that it will make any difference,” Deborah said, a frown forming on her face.
“But if you do not confess your feelings, Henry will never know, and he might marry Lady Joanna instead.”
“If only it were so easy.” Deborah sighed. “I worry if I confess how I truly feel, then I will only be turned down. And I am afraid that my heart cannot take that kind of rejection.”
Emma gave her a sympathetic look. “But is the opposite any better? That Henry ends up marrying Lady Joanna?”
