“Yes, I can. It is my choice to do so,” Deborah shot back. “I cannot believe what has gotten into you. You have never pressured me this way before.”
The hurt in her tone was evident, and Peter’s expression softened immediately.
“Deborah,” he said carefully, the air now thick with tension. “I did not mean to upset you this way. I just believe that marriage has been such a positive thing in my life, and I only want what is best for you. You should experience the joys of companionship as well.”
“And what about Nicholas?” Deborah asked, her eyes darting between her two brothers accusingly. “Why have you not asked him to find a bride for himself? Surely he must also experience the joys of companionship if it is that significant of an experience.”
“He is a man,” Peter argued. “You are well aware that things are different for him. He can choose to marry at a later time. However, your options will become more limited as time passes.”
Deborah was furious now. She could not believe that this was her own brother saying these things to her. Marriage talk was nothing new to her, she routinely got lectures about it from her grandmother. But her brothers had always been understanding enough to take her side. She felt blindsided.
“So, you are now going to treat me differently just because I am a woman?” she gritted out.
“I am not saying that,” Peter clarified.
“Dear brother, frankly, I am no longer interested in hearing what you may have to say. I will take my leave now.” She got up from her seat and began to storm off.
Emma watched her with a surprised expression, as it was not a common thing for a sister to be so direct with her brother.
Deborah rushed over to her bedroom and hid behind its doors. A ripple of betrayal went down her spine. But as she stood there, there was a knock on the door.
“Deborah?”
“I do not wish to speak with you right now, Peter. Please, leave me alone.”
“It is Nicholas,” the voice replied. “Let me in. I do not want to see you so upset like this.”
He kept knocking on the door despite her not making any efforts to open it. Finally, when she realized that he was not going to give up, she relented.
“What do you want?” she asked, peeking her head out of the door. “If you wish to take Peter’s side, then I am not interested in talking to you.”
“I am not taking his side.” Nicholas sighed. “At least, let me in.”
She let him in but kept a watchful gaze on him.
Nicholas cleared his throat. “Are you really that upset over what Peter said to you?” he asked, concern lacing his tone.
“Yes,” she muttered, looking down at the floor. “He knows my opinion on marriage, and yet, he still wants to marry me off as though I am some burden.”
“That is not true, Deborah,” Nicholas replied firmly. "I hope you know that none of us thinks you are a burden to anyone.”
“Then what explains his insistence for me to find a match for myself?” she asked, her questioning gaze lingering on his face for a long moment. “I am perfectly capable of living by myself.”
He sighed and took a seat at the edge of her bed. “You have to realize that Peter is the eldest amongst us. Since our parents are no longer with us, he feels a sense of responsibility on his shoulders when it comes to you.”
“So, you admit that he thinks of me as a burden!” She shot up, riled up once again.
“No, I did not say that,” Nicholas replied slowly. “I am just telling you what may have been going on in his head when he suggested that you give Lord Macaulay a chance.”
“But I am not interested, Nicholas. Does that not count for anything?”
“You do not have to agree to his proposal,” Nicholas said. “But to keep the peace, you can at least talk to him once again at the ball tonight. Afterwards, you can tell Peter that you did not change your mind.”
She considered his words for a moment. “But the point remains that he does not see that I am not looking to marry anyone.”
“I do not think that is true,” Nicholas said, careful not to offend her. “It is not marriage as a concept that you detest, but more so that you believe that getting married will lead to you giving up parts of yourself that you hold dear.”
“But isn’t that what marriage entails?” she asked. “I would be expected to stop writing and be restricted to the life of a housewife without dreams or passions of my own.”
