“Will you not say anything?” Robert’s impatient words did nothing to dissuade Christopher from giving his attention beyond the window.
He watched the streets of London fall away as they traveled out of the city walls and toward the grand houses on the outskirts. The Duke of Dunton’s house was in one such grand estate, and Christopher watched warily for the moment the manor would appear between the trees.
“If you intended to do your best impression of a marble statue, I wonder why you insisted on coming at all,” Robert asked, urging Christopher to flick his gaze toward his brother at last.
The view of the autumnal trees fell away, and he fixed his focus on Robert’s manner instead. Robert was nervous, constantly shifting his position on the coach bench. He’d fussed with his hair so much in the effort to make it look nice that rather than falling flat; it curled up at the edges, forming a flick of hair that resembled a cockatiel’s coif.
“You’re in a state,” Christopher observed.
“Hurrah! The statue speaks.” Robert forced a smile, but it didn’t last. He adjusted his tailcoat, buttoning it and unbuttoning it again, plainly unsure which looked better. “Don’t fall into silence again, I pray you. This situation is hard enough without you throwing silent censure at my head.”
“And here I was thinking my silence was plain enough for you to understand. If you know it’s censure, why do you wish to hear the words?” Christopher asked, his voice snapping in sharpness. “I cannot believe you, Robert. I just cannot understand it!”
“Here we go.” Robert sighed and leaned back on the coach bench.
“You could have had any woman you wanted. You’re the brother of a duke, and that comes with standing. Even though my name has been ruined in the scandal sheets, yours has been relatively untouched.” He motioned madly toward his brother. “You could have had any woman! Yet you now wish to ask a woman to marry you just to save her name from scandal.”
“That’s what you think I am doing?”
“What else could it be!” Christopher barked. “You were caught in a garden with her, kissing her. God knows why you could kiss a woman from a snake of a family like that —”
“I’ve changed my mind. I preferred it when you were silent.” Robert folded his arms, looking away.
“Well, congratulations! You wanted me to speak, so now you have it. Be careful what you wish for, Robert.”
“Believe me, I’m thinking that.” Robert eyed him with a glower.
“Our father…” Christopher’s voice grew quieter. He covered his face, scratching the stubble across his chin, trying to distract his mind from the pain that came with the mention of their father.
I miss him so much.
The late Duke of Bridstone was the best of men. Christopher had loved him dearly, and there had not been a day since his passing that Christopher had not missed him.
“He believed in making decisions with your heart.” Christopher thumped his own chest. “He wished for us both to marry for love someday. What do you think he would say to you if he was sitting in this carriage with us now? Hmm? I think he’d be questioning why on earth you wish to marry Lady Julia out of a sense of duty.”
“I see I have not made myself plain.” Robert sat forward, shaking his head sharply. “I don’t wish to marry her out of duty but out of love. I am travelling to Lady Julia’s house now because it is my heart telling me to do so, not so much my head.”
Christopher stared, his jaw slack. He could hear his breathing in the air, loud with his shock, but no words escaped him.
“I see we are back to that marble statue,” Robert muttered and buttoned his tailcoat once again. “Does this look better? Or unbuttoned, is that better?”
“I… I don’t understand.” Christopher managed eventually as the carriage turned. It was evident they had moved off the main road and onto a drive from the way the coach petered left and right, but he couldn’t tear his gaze away from his brother enough to look out of the window. “You love her? But the Carters… they are all so…”
He thought of Lady Helena. The number of times she had glowered at him across the room, a coldness in that stare. He thought his brother was thinking poorly to compare him to a marble statue. If there was anyone with that coldness in her, it was surely Lady Helena.
“They are coldhearted. They look down on us as if they are seated on some high pedestal —”
“That is not Julia!” Robert snapped so loudly that Christopher fell silent. Robert rarely argued with such vigor. It was testament to the passion he felt. “She is good-hearted, warm, sweet, shy, kind… There are so many beautiful words I could use to describe her, but coldhearted is not one of them. All that shows to me is that you have never really seen her for who she is. You look her way and expect her to be your enemy, rather than seeing who she really is.”
Robert sat back then his head flicked toward the window, and he grew more nervous. He leaned so far forward that he nearly fell off the bench.
“Need me to help you out of this carriage?” Christopher muttered wryly.
“If you are not able to say a kind word to me today, then pray, do not say anything at all. And stay in this carriage. God only knows why you decided to come with me.”
Christopher’s stomach knotted as he steepled his hands together and leaned his temple into those hands. His brother was in pain; that was apparent.
What I thought this situation was, it is not.
