For the first time in her life, she thought—I don’t want to have these dreams anymore.
She felt ready to leave them behind. She didn’t need to revisit the sound of her family’s voices in this macabre way. She could go without ever hearing them again. She needed to live in the present and stop worrying about the past.
But how could she ever do that?
It occurred to her that perhaps the dreams had increased in frequency as a warning to her. Perhaps the curse was attempting to let her know that something was wrong.
Maybe it was telling her that she shouldn’t be getting so close to Thomas.
She had sworn to herself that she would keep her distance when she married him, and she hadn’t been doing that at all.
There was a pale light coming in through the window. The sun was beginning to rise. That was a good thing, Madeleine decided. She didn’t want to go back to sleep and risk falling into those horrible nightmares again. She didn’t think she could take any more of that.
She got out of bed and dressed quickly instead of waiting for Horatia to come and help her. She didn’t want to be in her room anymore. Maybe she would feel better if she went down to breakfast early.
But she didn’t. As soon as she arrived in the dining room, she saw that Thomas had beaten her there.
He smiled, rose to his feet, and came over to greet her.
Madeleine felt pulled in two directions. She wanted badly to go to him and fall into his arms. She wanted to let him comfort her.
But the knot of fear that the dream had left in her chest still hadn’t faded.
I’m cursed.
What difference did it make if he was willing to take the risk to be with her? How could she have let herself believe that his willingness made it all right for her to give in?
What if disaster had struck last night while they all slept? What if her curse had ripped him away, and she had awoken to find she’d lost yet another person she loved?
For she did love him. She could no longer deny that.
She was going to have to keep him away. It was the only sane thing to do.
She took a step back as he approached her and moved to the table, sinking into a chair before he could embrace her. He looked at her for a moment, obviously confused by her sidestep, but he seemed to decide not to make anything of it and returned to his own chair.
“Did you sleep well?” he asked her.
She hesitated. “Not very.”
“The nightmares again?”
She nodded. It couldn’t hurt to be honest with him about that.
“Perhaps we should speak to a physician.”
“I’m not sure what good that would do. Nothing’s wrong with my health.”
He sighed. “I just hate to see you going through this, Madeleine. I wish there was something I could do to make it better for you.”
But Madeleine thought she knew what would make it better. She needed to stay away from him. She needed to make sure that her curse wouldn’t hurt him. That was the only thing that would make her feel safe again.
Maybe then the nightmares would stop.
She turned her attention to her breakfast, trying not to notice that his eyes were still on her.
The dining room door opened, and Henrietta came in, a small package in her hands. “This just arrived for you, Madeleine,” she said.
Madeleine frowned. “What is it?”
