Here it was. As much as Madeleine had known this was coming, it didn’t stop her from feeling anxious. She glanced at Thomas.
He gave her an encouraging nod.
“We chose a wedding gown for you,” Henrietta said. “Imagine my surprise when you arrived wearing something else entirely.”
“I bought that gown for her, Mother,” Thomas interjected. “I’m sure she thought she was meant to wear it to the wedding.”
“No,” Madeleine said. She appreciated what Thomas was trying to do, but she wanted to take ownership of the decision she had made. “I thought that gown was a gift, not something for the wedding. I chose to wear it anyway.”
“And what possessed you to do such a thing after all our conversations about appropriate attire?” Henrietta asked.
“I wore it because it was beautiful,” Madeleine said simply. “I wanted to feel beautiful, and in that gown, I did. I wanted to feel lovely for my wedding day.”
“And what was wrong with the gown we chose?”
“We didn’t choose it. Begging your pardon, truly, but…I was not involved in that choice. You selected that gown, and you picked it because you wanted to cover my neck and as much of my face as you possibly could. You wanted to hide me.”
“That’s a very unkind way to describe what I was trying to do,” Henrietta said. “I wanted tohelpyou, Madeleine. You’re stepping into a difficult role as a duchess and little though you might like to believe it, it does matter what people think of you. You can’t simply do whatever you want all the time with no regard for others’ perceptions.”
“I understand that,” Madeleine said. “But I don’t want people to perceive me as someone ashamed of herself. I know that I have a scar. Other people are going to know that too. There’s no point in trying to keep it hidden. I’m not going to let people believe that I can’t bring myself to face them or that I feel like I have to cover up to be around anybody.”
Henrietta eyed her hawkishly for a moment.
Madeleine waited, sure that she would have something else cutting to say.
But then Henrietta smiled. “You know I’ve always admired your confidence,” she said. “You remind me of myself, Madeleine, unafraid to speak your mind. And that was also a part of our training. I did tell you that a duchess had to be strong-willed. I suppose you’ve proven that you are.”
“Then you aren’t angry with me?”
“I’m pleased with you. You proved to be stronger than I expected.” She looked at Thomas. “You’ve chosen a worthy lady. Well, I suppose you didn’t reallychoose, did you? Circumstances made the choice for you.”
Thomas glanced at Madeleine, and she thought she knew what was on his mind. Yes, perhaps it was true that they hadn’t chosen one another at first. But after last night, it felt as if they had.
A part of her wanted to stand up and declare herself to everyone at the table, to tell them that this marriage wasn’t just one of scandal but that they had genuinely found their way to one another’s hearts. But the time wasn’t right. She would wait until she’d had a chance to discuss it with Thomas, and they would decide together when to tell his mother what had transpired between them.
Henrietta picked up her cup of tea, took a long sip, then set it down with a businesslike expression on her face. “Well, that settles that, I hope,” she said. “And now, we must return to making plans for the Growerton Ball.”
“Mother,” Thomas said, “I don’t think it’ll be necessary for Madeleine and me to attend. After all, we just got married, and there is much for us to focus on right now. I think I’d prefer to keep her at home. We’ll go to the next ball.”
“Well, what kind of impression will that make?” Henrietta demanded. “The first ball after your wedding, and you’re going to skip it? I hardly think that’s a good idea.”
“Mother, everything will be fine,” Thomas said. “We don’t need to go to every ball.”
“No one is talking about every ball. We’re talking aboutthisball, and I think you should both be there.”
Seeing that Thomas was about to continue arguing, Madeleine interjected. “I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m happy to go to the ball. Particularly if you feel it’s important, Henrietta.”
“Is that so?” Henrietta raised her eyebrows. “Because you told me you would be happy to wear the wedding gown I chose if I thought it was important. Now, I’m prepared to let that go. You made the decision you thought was best. But I don’t wish to establish a precedent where you feel you can say one thing to me and do another.”
“Oh, no,” Madeleine assured her. “That isn’t what will happen. I mean what I’m saying now. I’m happy to go to the ball. I want to make a good impression in my first days as Duchess of Westcourt. And I wouldn’t want to leave anyone in any doubt that Thomas had made a good choice in marrying me.”
She was thinking of one person in particular, of course.Lady Cecily.The lady who had tried at every turn to interfere with her marriage and to make Thomas think badly of her. And then there were all the ladies who followed Lady Cecily around as if they craved her approval more than anything. Madeleine knew that there were many who went along with the taunts and the gossip out of a desire to win Lady Cecily’s favor more than anything else.
It would be hard for them to find anything negative to say about her when they saw her on Thomas’s arm. But more to the point, she found she didn’t care what they said. Let them talk. By making an appearance in public, she would show them all that she wasn’t afraid of their words.
“Yes, go to the ball,” Rachel chimed in eagerly. “Oh, I wish I could go with you!”
Madeleine smiled at her eagerness. She wished she could force herself to feel the same way Rachel felt about the ball. The truth was, even though she knew her attendance was important, even though she did want to be seen there, she wished she didn’t have to go. There was a part of her that would have loved to take Thomas up on his offer to stay at home, to simply not worry about this.
