Madeleine didn’t feel lovely at all. She felt ridiculous. But she knew it would be wrong of her to say so. This gown had been a gift, and Henrietta was trying to help her blend in with the rest of society. She ought to be grateful.
She tried. “Thank you for this,” she said. “It was so kind of you to have this gown made and to send it over to me today.”
“It’s important that you spend enough time in my company to learn how to behave like a proper duchess,” Henrietta said. “Soon enough, you’ll be expected to know how to do this on your own, so these instructional sessions are essential for you. The same thing happened when I was engaged to my late husband. I was expected to spend time with his mother until I had learned the ways of the Dukedom and come to appreciate the new responsibilities that came with my role as duchess.”
“So far, all we’ve really talked about is my appearance,” Madeleine said.
“Well, that’s a very important aspect of your training. You must know how to present yourself in public to make a good first impression upon the remainder of theton. Unfortunately, this engagement took place very early into your debut season. If you had been able to spend a little more time in society, you would have learned more about what people expect to see from a refined young lady. And if you’d had a mother to teach you, of course.”
Madeleine’s eyes widened. “No one ever says such things to me so directly,” she said.
“Do you wish I wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps it’s better to know the truth of what you’re thinking,” Madeleine said. “I don’t like having to guess whether or not people are thinking about my family and what they’re thinking of me. Maybe it’s easier just to know.”
“It’s not my way to keep my thoughts and opinions to myself,” Henrietta said. “And from what I know of you, you’re the same.”
“I fear I might be,” Madeleine admitted. “Uncle Joseph tells me I have too much of my father in me.”
“It’s not a bad thing for a lady to know her own mind and to be unafraid to speak,” Henrietta said. “And you should never be afraid to speak tome, Madeleine. I know I can be imposing, but you must remember that, at the end of the day, I am on your side. I want the best for you and for Thomas.”
Madeleine nodded. “I can believe that,” she said. It was easier to believe that Henrietta meant what she said because she never withheld anything negative that might be on her mind. If she hadn’t wanted Madeleine to succeed, Madeleine was sure she would have said so. She was so blunt that there was never any need to worry about her saying anything other than the truth.
“All right,” Henrietta said. “Let’s practice drinking tea without moving your head too much from that position.”
“I don’t know if that will be possible. I’ll spill my cup.”
“I think you can manage it. I would have thought you’d look lopsided with your head tucked into your collar that way, but you’re making it look very natural. Pick up the cup.”
Madeleine reached out slowly. She couldn’t see what she was doing as well as she would have been able to if she could move her head, and she was worried that she might bump the cup and spill the tea.
“We’ll have to work on that,” Henrietta said as Madeleine lifted the cup. “It’s all right for your first attempt, but it definitely doesn’t look natural. We need to make all this look easy for you. If it doesn’t, it will draw attention, and of course, that isn’t what we want.”
Madeleine nodded and lifted the cup to her lips.
It was challenging. She had to hold it at a slight angle to drink, and it was difficult to do that without spilling. She ended up gulping the first sip she took so that there would be less tea in the cup. She knew it wasn’t ladylike, but it was better than allowing the cup to spill over.
She set it back down and glanced at Henrietta.
“That’s good,” Henrietta said. “It’s a shame we can’t show off that long neck of yours, of course. You’re such a beauty, Madeleine. But all things considered—yes, I think it’s best to keep your shoulders up and your chin tucked just a bit to the side, just like that. No one will be able to tell there’s anything different about you at all unless they look very closely.”
Madeleine nodded. “I’ll practice,” she said.
A part of her wished that none of this was necessary. She wasn’t embarrassed by her scar. She was used to other people’s eyes lingering just a bit too long there, used to the pause in conversation as they reconciled her appearance with what they already knew had happened to her.
But she didn’t want to cause embarrassment to Henrietta or to the Duke. She wanted them to feel that they could trust her to maintain the positive appearance they wanted her to put forward so that they wouldn’t feel a need to interact with her much at all. Her best hope was for a future in which she could go days without speaking to either one of them.
“Do you think we might take a break?” she asked Henrietta.
“Of course,” Henrietta said. “You’ve done very well. Perhaps you might like a quiet stroll around our garden? After all, it will be yours too after the wedding. You might as well get to know it.”
That sounded perfect to Madeleine. “I would love that,” she said. “Thank you.”
“It’s right through that door,” Henrietta said. “Take your time, and when you return, we’ll work on dancing.”
Madeleine felt herself blush. If she was coming back to dancing lessons, she knew she would spend even longer in the garden. She had always been an abysmal dancer. And unlike her scar, her dancing abilities were something that embarrassed her. She had always felt that if she’d been raised by a mother, she would have learned how to dance properly. It was something that had eluded her.
She hurried out the door and into the garden, eager for the chance to be away from Henrietta, even if only for a short time. She did like the Dowager, and she wasn’t nearly as intimidated as she would have expected to be, but she also found it much easier to be on her own than to be with the Duke’s mother. The fact that she was expected to spend all day here training for her future had begun to wear on her.
