"I'm not sure what you mean, my lord. Could you explain to me?"
James snapped back to attention with a huff of surprise, his heart leaping against his ribs. "Oh," he answered, "well, I'm sure there are much less demanding jobs out there. Governess jobs, too, as well as all sorts. Why choose here, specifically?" Why choose to work for a man everyone thinks is a killer, he added silently.
Alicia pursed her lips. Sometimes, when she was thinking deeply, her head canted to the left and had her dark hair cascading over her shoulders. When she did speak, her voice was soft. Wary. "Truthfully," she murmured, "because of the money. Both of my parents are gone, and I was burning through their savings faster than I thought imaginable. I had worked before, as a laundry maid, but that didn't work out..."
Although his curiosity was piqued, James held his tongue. He knew that work wasn't always easy, especially for women. A lot of affluent people treated their staff terribly; took advantage of them, even. James would have rather died than become one of those types. "Well, I'm glad you came," he replied - and he meant it. Alicia had arrived just in time - late or not - and saved him from choosing between no governess or a terrible one.
She seemed to brighten at the compliment, only for her radiant smile to falter again. Alicia ducked her head and took a step back, expression turning wary. "That's kind of you to say, my lord." It looked as if she wanted to say more, lips parted even though no sound revealed itself. For whatever reason, James knew she was holding herself back.
It was because she believed the rumors, of course. Nearly everybody did, even those that claimed otherwise. Especially those that claimed otherwise. Over the last few years, James had gone from being a respected member of society to an outcast. The kind of man that people crossed the street to avoid. It seemed logical that even someone as sweet as Alicia was only here out of desperation, and that she thought the same as everyone else did.
Taking a breath, James stepped aside to let her go. "I only say it because it's true. Now, I won't hold you any longer - please make sure my siblings haven't destroyed the house in the few minutes they've been gone."
Alicia let out a soft laugh, muffled by the hem of her shawl. "Of course, my lord. Thank you." Then she slipped from the playroom with a soft smile, quickly vanishing down the hall.
James watched her go with a faint smile on his face, aware he must have looked silly but unable to stop himself. Sweet Alicia was too good for a place like this, but nonetheless, he felt a burst of gratefulness that she was here. It was easy to see that she was exactly what the children needed; kind and patient, gentle without being too timid. Most of all, she treated everyone here with respect. Although he found himself wishing that she weren't quite so distant. James had been doing distant for years now, and a part of him wished for the familiarity of friendship.
Of course, that was impossible, given that Alicia was now his sibling's governess. Not to mention the fact that she would never have been interested, given his current status. Although he knew that many women desired the courtship of somebody wealthy and influential, James was not one of the men that they sought after. Not when half the town believed he killed his own father.
Shaking his head, James turned to leave. He wandered back downstairs alone, trying to push those thoughts aside. It did him no good to reminisce nor to wonder about what things could have been. This was how things were, and he couldn't do anything to change that.
Chapter Eight
"If you want to eat with Lord Arvill, you should," one of the maids offered kindly as she set the meal down in front of Alicia. "He already told us to set an extra place at the table for you, and you're all eating the same meal anyway."
Alicia stared down at the soup in front of her. It smelled delicious; fresh vegetables and exotic spices that she couldn't even name, all blended into one delicious meal. This was just her starter, and Alicia had to admit that this was far better than anything she ever ate at home. "Thank you," she said to the maid, whose name she believed was Joyce. "It was very kind of him to make such an offer, but I don't feel it's appropriate. I feel bad enough that I get better treatment than the rest of the staff."
Joyce waved a dismissive hand, features crinkling into a smile. She had to be a few years older than she or Lord Arvill, but her skin had a healthy glow that still suggested hidden youth. "Now, don't you worry, dear. I remember when Lord Arvill and his brother were young; we had a governess then, too. That's just how it is, you see."
Even so, Alicia couldn't help the stab of guilt as she took the spoon into her hands. It was all so formal, so uncomfortable, especially in this big old dining room, too. What kind of house needed two dining rooms? This one was big enough to host a whole family, and yet there was a layer of dust on the side tables and china cabinets that suggested it hadn't been used in years.
Joyce stepped back to allow Alicia to enjoy her meal, offering a kind smile before disappearing. Alicia wished she would come back; it was so quiet and empty in this huge room. Every clink of her spoon and shift of her feet echoed so loudly in the quiet. The heave of her breaths drifted all around and swallowed her up.
The main course was a healthy serving of roast beef and vegetables served with thick, rich gravy and potatoes. Just like everything else that was served, it was delicious, but Alicia couldn't hope to finish it all. She was a small woman used to more modest portions, and Papa had always claimed that she ate too little. Whether that was true or not was beside the point because Alicia was happy to finish quickly, if it meant leaving this spooky old dining room. Even after almost a week, she wasn't used to it. It was even stranger than eating alone back home because at least then she knew there weren’t others eating just one room down.
Joyce and another maid made quick work of removing the dishes as Alicia climbed to her feet. "Lord Arvill and the children are still eating," she informed her lightly, "and you have the rest of the evening to yourself. I'd enjoy it, considering things will only get tougher on Monday."
"How so?"
"Well, you'll be officially acting as governess," Joyce replied. "That, and the fact that Lord Arvill's brother, Edwin, will be arriving on Monday evening.
Oh. Edwin? She remembered Lord Arvill mentioning a brother during her interview for governess. Hadn't he said something about his brother traveling? Well, she supposed that nobody could travel forever, no matter how much money they had.
"They don't always get on, you see," Joyce continued in a hushed tone. The crockery was gone now, the other maid had taken it to the kitchen, but Joyce lingered. "I know it's none of my business, but sometimes I wonder if Edwin doesn't travel to get away from this place." Then Joyce shook her head, a low sigh escaping her lips as she cast her gaze to the ceiling. "Anyway, you didn't hear that from me, okay? You go and enjoy your evening now, ma'am."
Alicia turned slowly towards the door, staring into the empty hallway for a long moment before ambling towards the foyer. It was none of her business, really, and yet Alicia still couldn't help the curiosity that welled in her chest. She would be meeting the elusive fourth Arvill family member soon, she supposed, if he were due back in three days.
So lost in her thoughts, Alicia didn't even notice when a figure appeared in the hall. They knocked shoulders, and Alicia spun to face them with a gasp. "Oh, I am so sorry!" When she looked up to see Lord Arvill, her face paled. "Oh, it's you. My lord, please accept my apology-"
"It was just an accident, Miss Sempill," he insisted. He had shifted back to put space between them, but he still reached out a cautious hand as if wanting to soothe but not knowing how. "It gets dark in these halls during the evenings. I'm sure I asked someone to light the lamps."
Alicia's cheeks tinged pink. Oh, how she hated how obvious it was on her fair skin, but thankfully her freckles hid the worst of it. "It was my fault," she said gently, "I should have paid more attention, my lord. I was going to retire to my room for the night, but if there's anything you need..?"
"Nothing tonight, Miss Sempill."
"If you're sure." She had this strange, growing need to please Lord Arvill, putting herself out to ensure he was satisfied with her work. It was a strange dichotomy when combined with her desire to remain professional, and therefore spend as little time as possible in his presence. She couldn't mess things up if she did only, what he asked. "I'll be going now, my lord," she said quietly, inclining her head as she turned to leave. Alicia felt his gaze on her as she hurried down the hallway, and her heart skipped with every lurching step.
Why did she feel like this? This strange desire to be near him, to make him pleased, didn't at all fall in line with her need to remain professional. Somehow, Alicia just knew that her feelings were only going to grow.
